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Clueless! I need some advice.

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by mellie, Dec 11, 2015.

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  1. idsm

    idsm
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    Thanks!!:icon_bigg:icon_bigg

    The blue one is good, imo. Neither too casual nor too formal.
    But seriously, whatever makes you FEEL good is best.
    Confidence always makes people attractive, no matter the outfit.

    Best of luck to you and keep us posted! (!)(!)
     
    #21 idsm, Dec 12, 2015
  2. Shadowsylke

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    You DO look good in blue. :slight_smile:

    Whatever you wear, it will be great. Just be sure to come back here and give us the debrief after it's over!
     
    #22 Shadowsylke, Dec 12, 2015
  3. bi2me

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    How are we not friends yet? Arghh!
     
    #23 bi2me, Dec 12, 2015
  4. Soundofmusic

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    Please report back with stories!
     
    #24 Soundofmusic, Dec 12, 2015
  5. LBSmitty

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    been gone for a couple of weeks. Lots of Christmas stuff going on at the school I work at. Anyways, I wish I could see the outfit pics! Hope you have fun :slight_smile:
     
    #25 LBSmitty, Dec 12, 2015
  6. mellie

    mellie
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    Oh you guys. Our date started at 1pm. It is currently 12am and I just got home.

    I'm in so much trouble.
     
    #26 mellie, Dec 12, 2015
  7. cate1515

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    SOOO excited for you!!!
     
    #27 cate1515, Dec 12, 2015
  8. Shadowsylke

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    OMG. Spill it, girl!!
     
    #28 Shadowsylke, Dec 12, 2015
  9. Really

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    An 11 hour date?!?
    Not so clueless now, are we?
    Yes. Please spill it.
     
    #29 Really, Dec 12, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2015
  10. biAnnika

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    Egad. And she doesn't even tell us if by "in so much trouble" she means with her husband or with herself. Or if "trouble" is a good thing in this case! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Mellie...serious congratulations (I'll spare you the warm hugs, 'cause it sounds like you may have had all the warm snuggling you need just now)...but stop messing with us now...get a good night's sleep, so you can clearly articulate just what the hell this is all about! *smile*
     
    #30 biAnnika, Dec 12, 2015
  11. YeahpIdk

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    Wait, what was tha-?
    Oh.
    I think it was the sound of someone stealing Mellie's heart.

    I am equal parts excited to hear this story and seriously jealous. SO JUST END MY PAIN.
     
    #31 YeahpIdk, Dec 12, 2015
  12. Sorrel

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    Oh no what a cliffhanger!! :icon_eek: :eusa_clap :dead:
     
    #32 Sorrel, Dec 13, 2015
  13. idsm

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    11 HOURS?! I don´t dare imagine what you were doing!!! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Seriously, though, I am very happy for you. Terribly jealous that it will probably be a very long time before I get to live something similar, but still very happy! :slight_smile:
     
    #33 idsm, Dec 13, 2015
  14. mellie

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    I am in trouble because I am crazy about her. Absolutely crazy. And because I am crazy about her, I am going to be a lady and spare all the details. But I will give a synopsis.

    Date started out a little awkward. But I kind of expected that. I didn't hug her because I decided to respect some boundaries and get a feel for where we were at before I did anything physical. I did pay for lunch, which earned me major brownie points. I struggled to keep the conversation going, but I found that teasing myself about how nervous she made me really helped to break the ice. I had her laughing a lot as I sort of tripped all over myself.

    Lunch went well enough that she invited me over to watch some movies. We went back to her place and just sat and talked for a long time. We started to watch a movie and I started to inch closer and closer to her, testing the waters. Finally I just went for it. I grabbed her hand and kissed her. That's when the date really started :wink: She did tease me about being super forward. I told her that I just wanted her to be comfortable, and that I know I'm a little forward and I can get a little intense, but if I did something she wasn't comfortable with that she just needed to tell me. We did save some things :wink: Honestly a lot of time was spent with her head on my chest, my face in her hair, as she talked to me or we just laid together holding hands. We talked a lot about how crazy our connection was and how comfortable we were with each other. It took me a good two hours to actually leave from the time I said I was leaving, because we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

    I mean, obviously I knew I was a lesbian before yesterday. But feeling her body against mine, feeling her fingers entwined with my fingers, playing with her hair, it felt so completely right. I can't really explain it, but I've never felt that way with anyone before. With Trigger it was weird, because it wasn't reciprocated, so I knew I was attracted to her but I never felt the intensity of a physical/emotional connection. I don't know if this will last (I sure hope it does), but I do know that yesterday just made sense--and I feel so much more at ease with my sexuality, because it all just clicked and I realized, this is what people talk about, the connection with someone on all levels, this is what all the FUSS is about--and I DIDN'T have a choice. I don't. This is who I am and I'm proud of it. I'd go out and hold her hand and kiss her in public with 0 qualms.

    And then I came home. And Baby Daddy asked me now my date was. I could tell he was a little down, and I asked him what was wrong. He said, "It's just going to take some getting used to, you going out." I told him to look me in the eye, and I said, "I'm a lesbian. I've said that before, but you need to really look at me. I'm a lesbian. It has nothing to do with you."

    I think he needed that, because he breathed a sigh of relief. Then I said, "In the name of open communcation and complete honesty, I really, really like her." He asked to see a picture, and then asked me when I was going to see her again. We also talked about him moving a little sooner than I do, finding a room to rent closer to work. Then we could get an apartment and he could come stay on the weekends to be with the kids. It will give us space, it will give us the opportunity to actually file for legal separation, but it'll also give him someplace to come to be with the kids.

    Oh my God. This is really happening.
     
    #34 mellie, Dec 13, 2015
  15. Sorrel

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    Oh my god!... I'm nearly crying when reading this... Mellie, I am so happy for you. How wonderful. In so many ways. I wish you all the best!
     
    #35 Sorrel, Dec 13, 2015
  16. idsm

    idsm
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    Well, that escalated quickly! :lol:
    But still, it´s awesome that you found someone special!

    (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)
    :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap​
     
    #36 idsm, Dec 13, 2015
  17. Apollonia

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    Awesome!!
     
    #37 Apollonia, Dec 13, 2015
  18. biAnnika

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    Wow Mellie, this is really outstandingly *fabulous*!! (And for my taste, you gave vs. skipped exactly the right amount of detail.) I am so *so* SO very happy for you right now.

    Do (continue to) be understanding with your husband. He sounds like a pretty great guy, and it's gotta be awkward having someone you love(d) go out on a date with someone else...even if the relationship was doomed and you both knew (and again, you know it more fully than he can let himself know it). You don't share it...you don't particularly want it (at least, not any more)...but be sure to respect his love. When he said it would take some time getting used to, he was speaking from the heart.
     
    #38 biAnnika, Dec 13, 2015
  19. Orchidea123

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    Mellie, this is purely awesome:eusa_clap
    I am glad all went well and better than expected! Loved your update, put tears in my eyes ( I guess I am more sensitive lately).
    In all this, freedom is the best gift, and you can have so much more with it. This is very romantic, personable to the core and I truly hope to hear more.
    Meanwhile, I'd like to think this is the beginning to something very special:icon_wink
     
    #39 Orchidea123, Dec 13, 2015
  20. Bouldghirl

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    Wow - really all I can say is "Be Happy".
     
    #40 Bouldghirl, Dec 13, 2015
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