What are you thinking?

I'm officially a terrible person today. The girl asked me if I still wanted to talk to her. "It's ok if you don't. I understand. I don't want you to talk to me if you are being forced".

She's so nice and beautiful and she has a good heart. I feel terrible.

My mom was right there so I couldn't say that I didn't want to talk to her. It could have been a perfect closure to our friendship/relationship/beard/Ex-gay therapy weird thing we have going on

 

Wow. This is a record for me. I spent almost two hours self-loathing and yelling at myself to get to sleep. I'm so done with today and it's barely 12:30.

 

Teacher: ask me if you need help

Me: okay i need help with A

Teacher: well idfk fix it jfc

Me: ahhhh yes I hadnt thought of that! wow fix it! what an idiot i am asking for help im so glad the government pays you to educate me

 

Well I'm definitely keeping busy today.

 

I really don't want to go to work today, but the good news is that I should finish up my last two large projects of the year today. So, that will leave a lot less for me to worry about.

 

You heard me right. Starbucks makes okay mixed/specialty drinks. But their coffee always tastes burnt to me. I want to be able to taste the coffee when I order coffee, you know? Otherwise I'd just order a milkshake if I really, really wanted a frappe.

I'm more of an indie coffee guy anyway. Indie and Dutch Bros, that's the way to go.

 

They're both terrible imo.

 

I am thinking that I need to make friends. Although, I feel I am too old to make friends. ugh. Is 40 too old to start making friends? I am an introvert. It is hard for me.

 

You're never too old or too young to do anything!

 

I don't feel like going to work (walmart). I just want to relax and watch netflix. I need more lgbt friends because I currently only have 1. Where's my cat?

 

Tomorrow is supposed to be a really nice day, so I'm thinking of making some lunch to have outdoors in a nearby park.

 

I ditched school today and I think someone tried to kidnap me.

 

I lost 10 points on a speech because I was apparently hostile, yet I remember my vocal tone being very calm and casual. Based on conversation with others, most agree that the tone I used was not hostile, and that it's likely the teacher docked me those points because he didn't agree with me (not the first time this teacher has done such). Guess this is what happens when you give a liberal opinion in a conservative state.

Consider me...

 

ugh..... *groans*.

^Would be a summary of how I feel right now.

 

Roadtrip tomorrow. First time driving a long distance with my new-but-actually-22-year-old car.

Fun times ahead.

Edit: also, the Age: 26 thing to the left is too confronting and I don't like it

 

Someone's bbqing outside, smells like ribs, yum.

 

As I was driving home earlier, I got to see the Jimmy Johns delivery boy get rear ended by some dipshit who managed to miss a gray Honda Civic in front of him at a red light.

 

Am I thinking about making videos again because I'm slowly starting to feel better and a little confident (despite feeling like absolute shit today), or is this another delusional episode where I think I'm either something I'm not or I'm stuck on the fucking Truman Show?

 

If my work computer would work with me, I would be able to get this project done a lot faster. Naturally, it does not want to do what it is supposed to do...