So I finally worked up the courage to secretly venture to NYC to go to some lesbian "nights" at different bars. I was hoping that going to the bars would confirm me being gay after years of questioning, but I feel even more confused. I made out with some girls from femme to butch but overall I didn't feel mentally/sexually attracted to anyone. But I did feel like I belonged. Like I felt very happy at each bar and I had a lot of fun. I also felt really overwhelmed, but that was expected. I just felt out of place when it came to my identity, and what "type" of girl I am. And why I wasn't attracted to anyone when everyone else seemed to be really into each other. I'm new to these gay experiences and actually putting myself out there Sooo any insight would be nice, thanks(*hug*)
I don't have any experience with this so can't comment but have you read this thread? http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anony...32-who-wants-live-vicariously-through-me.html She recounts a few outings that you might relate to. Or not. It would be interesting to see if your experiences were similar and/or how they were different.
Well, for a start, when has any of us gone out somewhere and always found someone we were attracted to? And secondly, don't catalog yourself as anything but yourself. You are you, and that is who someone will find attractive. If they are stuck in the butch/femme labels and won't date anyone with the wrong/no label, move on. I'm not going to go beyond the lesbian label for myself.
These things take time. Be patient with yourself. I'd also advise you to go with what feels natural, rather than force things. Why were you making out with people you weren't attracted to in the first place? ;-)
Straight off the bat I had all of the same worries as her before going out. I'm interested in reading more tomorrow, thanks for sharing! ---------- Post added 28th Nov 2015 at 02:01 AM ---------- It's funny how badly I want to label myself to fit into a community, but I guess it really doesn't matter, a lesbian is a lesbian. ---------- Post added 28th Nov 2015 at 02:07 AM ---------- It was mostly out of pure curiosity, I had this one night to experience whatever lesbian things I could and I made a goal to at least kiss one girl. I think I thought I would experience some sort of attraction upon kissing. I didn't feel attracted to the girls I was kissing, but the kissing itself was harmless and fun. They occurred on the dance floor and were kind of just an extension of dancing if that makes sense? But I am looking forward to kissing someone I am actually interested in without needing to force anything.
