Lost my virginity today - biggest mistake EVER

I suppose you could but maybe try this hotline first. (Dial 811). They would know for sure.
https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Find-Health-Care/Services/Pages/profile.aspx?SERVICEID=1001957

 

Just reread my first message and relax. Even if you did have AIDS you would live a pretty normal life and would only reduce your life span of about a year (on an average), which means that you would still have more chances of getting killed in a car crash or else than by the actual disease or consequences of it.

 

I am also 100% sure you feel sick because you're panicky. Anxiety controls the body physically just as much as mentally.

 

It's normal to get sick when you're anxious. This is (at least partly) because the body releases more cortisol when you're anxious, and cortisol suppresses your immune system. On top of that, people tend to spend more time indoors at this time of year because of colder weather, so viruses tend to spread easier with people cluttered in closer proximity. So it's very common for people to get sick at this time of year, especially if they're anxious.

I use to get sick at the end of November/beginning of December back in college when I was worried about final exams.

Also, as Linning suggested, your symptoms may be a self-fulfilling prophecy carried out by your brain.

 

I'm not exactly the best qualified person to comment on this, since I'm not very well educated about diseases. However, from what I know about how HIV spreads, and from what you've written, I think it's very unlikely you got HIV from this encounter.

Even though I haven't been through the same scenario, I understand the general tendency to worry about something that is not within your control, even if the odds are slim. I wish I could say more to alleviate your panicking and mental anguish. I wish I could be more helpful.

 

Technically it means where the symptoms are most severe before you start recovering. To translate, he is saying the symptoms of your anxiety are appearing, worsening becoming apparent.

Anxiety about an illness can actually cause some symptoms that make you think you are actually ill. Dry mouth, nausea, diarrhea, headaches to name a few. Some people spend years dealing with imaginary symptoms, there is a reason why we have to cater for the placebo effect when performing studies of the efficacy of medical treatments. The mind's ability to impact the body is amazing. You don't need to spend years, because you can find out with a lot of certainty in a few weeks and with complete certainty in 90 days. More on this later.

Bottom line the problem is, a doc is not going to say "You don't have HIV, he's going to say, you almost definitely don't have HIV". He will say this because there is no such thing as an absolute. However, when someone says the chances of you having HIV are pretty much zero, well you can assume you pretty much do not have HIV. It's a fragile virus, almost anything kills it. I am going to predict that you'll go through this period of agonizing over the what if's and then you'll discover you don't have it and learn a really important lesson.

I suggest you talk to someone, a therapist would be ideal or someone at an STD clinic. You can call one and ask them if they have someone who could counsel you, that you're really struggling. These people see people in your situation all day every day and know the cold hard facts and the realities, they don't know the half truths and imaginings that you'll find on many forums online.

You need someone to reassure you and tell you the risk is astronomically low.

Hang in there, this is a painful time that a lot of gay guys face at some point when they first start sexual activity. However, you'll learn a lot out of it and never make the mistake again and be stronger for it.

Don't forget, you can get tested. Keep in mind that the reason they say 90 days is that statistically EVERYONE will test positive at 90 days if they have been exposed. Some people will test positive at two weeks. The tests are incredibly sensitive now. Consider getting tested at 30 days, even consider it at two weeks if you feel it will help you relax. 30 days is a reasonable point because it starts to become reasonably reliable for most people, but also retest at 90 days to completely rule it out.

It's scary, which is why you should chat to someone who knows what they are talking about. However, over time you'll get your fears under control and realize that:

1) It's almost guaranteed you don't have it
2) In the extremely unlikely case that you do, you'll live a normal life. You don't have to tell anyone other than sexual partners, there is even a pretty good chance they'll find a 100% cure in the not too distant future. Until then, it's a manageable disease just like diabetes (better actually) the main reason we fear it so much now is the social stigma.

You are going to be fine, you're going to be awesome!

 

Sounds like your doc is looking after you and you have put things in perspective which has lessened your anxiety. Now is the time to stop researching online, you have nothing new to learn. There is so much misinformation out there it's just distracting. Be kind to yourself for a while, live your normal routine but give yourself a break too. It's all going to be fine, take a deep breath, life ia great!

 

hugs, you know itll be alright. Good luck.

 

good luck

 

Not meaning to sound judgemental or prudish; but-having sex in public is a still a crime in most juristictions, if caught, you could be arrested, and may become labeled as a sex offender. Not only should you use condoms, but be safe in private.

 

Calm down, that's the first thing you need to do. Yes you were an idiot, does that help? We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. However luckily you realized this after one encounter - whereas a lot of young people hook-up carelessly and engage in bareback sex with complete strangers regularly

I'm not saying it is a definite no-no but your chances of having contracted an STD are really low. Perhaps asking the person directly (as awkward as that sounds) might be re-assuring since the tests might take a while? You might also talk to a counselor or message a Samaritan to blow off some steam.