Weird timing--just now began worrying that people might think I'm gay

I'm more interested in which album it was? Lol

Dont stress. You're gay, if they've figured it out, well, saves you the trouble of coming out. If no one is giving you a hard time, they either don't know, or it's not an issue.

 

I had bit of a same reaction - I have always been very pro-equality, shared links about equal rights in my social media accounts, went to pride, stuff like this - but ever since it has become more acute for me, sort of more real that I want to have a relationship with a woman - I suddenly feel very self conscious about these things. Like wtf??

Maybe it is something to do with being not straight now being far more personal, and therefore the fear of being mistreated because of it is also more real. Only way is keep doing what you're doing and being your authentic self, and not give a rat's ass what others think

 

I think this hits the nail on the head. Before you were pro-equality etc. but it was at arms length, you always had the protection of "I'm not gay, just a supportive straight woman". Now, it's YOU. Suddenly you are one of the vulnerable ones. I totally understand where you are coming from.

My wife that I'm separated from feels the need to tell people, even old friends of mine. I tell her I want to do it on my own schedule, that the world is a prejudice place despite the progress in recent years but she just ignores me. Sometimes it terrifies me because I want to be comfortable being out to that degree before I am!

 

Yeah, what these other guys said. I totally know what you mean, although I still present as pretty feminine so I don't worry of people accidentally finding out, just about what will happen when they do. I keep thinking I have to be more fit, get my hair down, etc. before I tell people.

In my case I worry more that people will think I've been unfaithful to my husband or that there is trouble in my marriage. (Yay for bi stereotypes!) I work with my husband, so, if my coworkers know, his will too.

 

Yeah! Exactly the same for me. I've always supported LGBT rights, it made me happy to see gay couples etc, and I wouldn't hide that. But nowaways when it seems pretty obvious I'm not straight, probably not even bi - I feel unsafe and tense. Now it's real and personal, somehow, I don't want people to look at me in "that way", whatever that means.

 

So I'm in kind of a weird place, where I'm simultaneously feeling like my sexuality is erased as a married feminine (at least mostly) person, and I'm not ready to tell everyone, but I'm tired of it being ignored and people just assuming I'm straight.

So I've started being a bit braver (and arguably more crass and sexist) when discussing good looking actresses, saying things like, "You don't think she's good looking? I think she's hot; I'd do her!" (I was a bit tipsy at the time I said *that* one, but still...)

 

You're story sounds a tad close to my own. Growing up, I was a Tom boy. My friends were in love with Justin timberlake, I was in love with the way he dressed and wanted to match the style. I cut my hair off when I was 8 and kept it short until I was 22. My husband prefers long, so I mostly did it for him. Now that we're seperated, hair has been hacked off, and I stopped trying to be girly. Even though I wasn't trying hard before lol.

I've thought about what I am going to tell my coworkers. I have two that I'm pretty close to, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I worry about their reactions even though they aren't homophobic at all. I'm chopping it up to just not being ready. Although, I'm pretty sure one of my coworkers suspects. I accidentally drOp anvil sized hints every so often and then mentally berate myself for it later. She keeps telling me that most women who divorce come out of the closet. Either because they were always gay or just figured it out. They way she says it... Like she's daring me to spills the beans. But I chicken out everytime. My closet friends don't even know. :/

 

That totally sounds like bating!