I know that I like women 100%. But what's troubling me is that I watch a lot of gay porn and i love it, I have been since I was 12 and now im still watching just as much as straight porn At the age of 18 . And I also have actually gone on dating sites many times and to talked to alot of guys, some of those convos even got serrious, plus I almost met a few but I could Never "pull the trigger". I don't know if I should really go out and meet someone (guy) on a date or not. Also dose this seem bisexual, I know I shouldn't label my self, but I'm just wondering what you guys think
The main thing to ask yourself would be are you attracted to males? If you are then you could very well be bi and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you want to experiment then that's fine, not really a big issue. Just think about how you feel for a bit, go with the flow and worry about the whole label thing later.
There's no real way to tell until you actually experience being with men or women for yourself. I experimented with plenty of other boys when I was 8-15 they all ended up being straight as far as I know. I ended up being bisexual. As you develop crushes on people and want to be more than friends with your friends it will all be made clear.
I disagree with jmccorm4 that you have to be with someone to know your attractions; there are lots and lots of people who absolutely know they have no attraction to the opposite sex long before being with someone. I think this is something you can figure out pretty easily. So here's something that might help: Guys who are completely straight wouldn't be regularly watching gay porn, wouldn't have serious conversations with men on dating sites, or consider meeting them. Likewise, someone who is totally straight is less to join a site like EC and ask questions. So it's pretty clear, at least from what you describe, that you aren't totally straight. I would argue, from what you've said, that you aren't straight at all and are either bi or gay. Here's something else: Whenever anyone processes a loss (in this case, the loss of perception of yourself as straight), there are stages we go through: denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. Denial can be absolutely complete, total denial... in spite of the most obvious evidence to the contrary. So in your case, you say "I know that I like women 100%" which is, quite honestly, pretty much exactly what someone who is gay and in denial would likely say. Now... I'm not saying you're gay; you're the only one who can know that. What you can do is try to honestly explore and question yourself. When you're masturbating to gay porn, is it more or less exciting than straight porn? When looking at straight porn, are you focusing on the guy or on the girl? What happens if it's lesbian porn (generally, straight guys find it hot, as most lesbian porn is made for straight men.) Better yet... try masturbating without porn, fantasize about guys in one session, and girls the next, and then, in a third session, simply let your mind wander and see what it comes up with if you don't think about anything. See which of those give you the strongest excitement and arousal. This exercise will give you a really good idea of where your attractions lie. Finally... where do your eyes wander when you're at the beach, a swimming pool, the mall, or elsewhere? Are you looking at guys? at girls? both? All of this can be a challenge when you're in denial, because you'll try and rationalize why you're doing what you're doing. But I think if you can try and be openminded about it (and you must have at least some questions, or you wouldn't be here) then I think you'll be able to get a clear picture pretty quickly. And keep in mind the stages of loss. They aren't necessarily sequential, but you will go thorugh all of them as you come to accept wherever your orientation ultimately ends up.
Chip, you gave some good points on how to determine your sexual orientation and I'll have to try that out sometime. However, inherently knowing one's orientation isn't always easy for everyone. I almost agree with jmccorm4 ... but Chip is likely right that you don't need to go through that to know. But, I feel ya. Tik29, perhaps you should go ahead and go on a date with a guy. I'm assuming you've gone on dates with girls before? Compare the two experiences. What were your feelings toward either gender? Did you want to kiss them? Was the conversation easy to carry? Note, if you go on a date with a guy and it completely bombs, that doesn't automatically mean that you didn't like him because he was a guy, but it could mean that it was that particular guy you weren't that in to. More numbers = better idea of what you like. In short, talking to guys on gay apps does seem a little gay
Hi thanks for that answer it really has me thinking. What I meant by I like women 100% was that I know for sure that I'm strongly attracted to women also. Not that I only like women.
Chip has some great advice there. I agree that you don't need to be with someone to know your attractions. Your situation looks like my own a few years ago, when i realized that, even if i liked women, i liked men too. My advice for now would be: Don't rush to any conclusion if you are confused. Take your time and relax. Think about your attractions calmly, and you will reach the answer. Of course, we are here to help you along the process. =)
