Why Are People So Afraid To Be Different?

I used to be really scared to be different and I tried to be as 'normal' as possible, but now I love who I am and I even get happy when someone calls me 'weird'. I think people are scared to be different because everyone else either looks down on people who are different or just flat out ignores them. No one likes to be looked down on or ignored, so everyone tries to be just like everyone else. I wish people didn't, though, I like 'weird' people...

 

Being different is like the best thing that ever happened to my life. I dont know why people would wanna change that... normal is boring

 

They are afraid of the consequences of someone's judgment, usually this 'someone' has some sort of power over them. And of course when I say 'someone' you can substitute it for a group or a society.

Basically it's fear of risk of losing some 'privilege'. It can be something as basic as money, or as complex as human contact.

 

They are afraid of the consequences of someone's judgment, usually this 'someone' has some sort of power over them. And of course when I say 'someone' you can substitute it for a group or a society.

Basically it's fear of risk of losing some 'privilege'. It can be something as basic as money, or as complex as human contact.

 

Myself, I have always hated the thought of being "just like everyone else" (to hearken to another thread, I've hated the thought of being normal). I have a good deal of disdain for people who aren't different...and some impatience with those who are different, but refuse to allow their differences to show. So yeah, far from being afraid to be different, I actively embrace being different.

For me, I think part of this was having a really competent older sister who worked hard to be exactly what was expected of her. If I'd tried to be like everyone else, I never could have distinguished myself from her...never could have exceeded her in any way. By always moving to the unexpected and different, I've gone places she could never go and done things she would never do...and in the process gone places *most* people could never go, etc. It was a useful life lesson.

But why are people afraid to be different? Being different myself, I can definitely see the reason. People who are different are often ignored or persecuted...at least through micro-aggressions. They have to work harder than others to establish their worth...when you follow a cookie-cutter recipe for success, then becoming successful is at least straightforward, and people respect your attempts whether or not they bear fruit. When you are unconventional, people don't know what to make of your attempts, unless they are wildly successful.

As a small for-instance, a woman with a bf is seen as a bit of a success. A woman with a gf, by contrast, is confusing to many, and disgusting to some...a success to very few. But a woman with a 29-year partnership with another woman is seen as a raging success in the relationship department, even by those who are disgusted at the thought of what must have been going on during those 29 years. If they have any perspective at all, they can't deny that the relationship has been more successful than most "normal" relationships they've seen (or been in).

So yeah...the stakes are higher when you're different. People like safety. People like easy. I can fully understand why they don't like to be different. The problem is when people *are* different and try not to be. Then the relative ease, comfort, and safety of being like everyone else is too high a price to pay for not being yourself.

 

People are afraid to be different because this society no longer values free speech. They *say* they do, but the only free speech allowed is what matches their P.O.V. That goes for both major sides of the political establishment. A lot of people are afraid to be different because so many people get offended, then lash out. So, in an effort to self-preserve, people who have differences have no choice but to hide. It is a self-defense mechanism.

 

I'm not.

 

Lack of conformity leads to ostracism, which is, I guess, evolutionarily disadvantageous.

 

Possible social repercussions. Everyone is weird in some way. And I say this as a person that folks often call "weird" or even "eccentric." I could name plenty people that I consider to be weirder than myself.



As I've said before, I'm quite normal in the grand scheme of things. Maybe I'm just so... progressive in a few areas of my life that it overshadows everything.

With that said, I tend to find it more suspicious when people seem too normal. I keep thinking something is missing or wondering if I'll find human body parts in the fridge!

You might find this interesting:
Asch Experiment | Simply Psychology