Hi, A bit of background: I came out as lesbian when I was 17. I told everyone but my immediate family, with the exception of my sister and my mom. My mom told me I was wrong, she didn't believe me. She insists that I am bisexual. She ignored any mention of my relationships with other girls. (She also thinks bisexual people just need to make up their minds, and are greedy. She told my sister that behind my back. It came up in a conversation, because my sister is questioning bisexuality. She feels ashamed because of my mother.) I'm in my early, nearing mid-20s now. I'm engaged to a man, who I do love. He is the only man I've been with, and the only one I've ever cared for. I don't feel sexual attraction, but I'm not repulsed by him. (Other men, however? Ugh, no!) Since I love him, I view sex with him as a way to bond, but objectively, it doesn't do anything for me. I've shared this with him, and he's very understanding. My mother insists this means I am bisexual, since I am in a relationship with a man. I am extremely uncomfortable with being called bisexual. I know for a fact that if my current relationship ended for any reason, I would never be with a man. But het-partnered lesbian seems inappropriate to say, so I've been calling myself q***r... which offends some people, understandably. I'm toying with biromantic lesbian, but it doesn't feel fit, because I have never felt romantic love for a man outside of my current partner. Any input... anyone? I know labels aren't really important in the grand scheme, but I feel lost not knowing what to describe myself. Sorry for the long post.
*sigh* First of all, nobody cares what your ignorant mother thinks. You shouldn't care what she thinks. Secondly... do not marry of a man who you feel no sexual attraction for. That's stupid. It's adultery waiting to happen. What, do you want the conservatives to be right about us? You may as well declare him your best friend and marry a woman. Because you're a total lesbian.
This sound so much like me! I came out as a lesbian a few months ago because, although I have zero experience, I'm extremely attracted to girls and I would also see myself in a relationship with one. With guys, well, I'm not interested in them. But now things are complicated because I have feelings for a guy and, since I care about him so much, I'm considering starting a relationship with him. The problem is, I'm not sexually attracted to him, at all, not to guys in general. Right now, I feel the label that fits me at best is "homoflexible", and I think it might fit you as well.
