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It's Not Cheating If It's With Another Gender!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Kaiser, Nov 4, 2015.

  1. guitar

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    One of my best friends is bisexual and her relationship with her husband is "open." She will never do anything with another man, but she fools around with plenty of women as she needs to satisfy that part of her sexuality. Her husband is fine with it. I don't know their exact arrangement as that doesn't seem fair to him, but I do know she won't cheat with another guy but her man is fine with her being with other girls.
     
  2. Kaboom

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    "It's fine if it's with another woman." I've found that most men do think that way. My best friend has seen me in a couple of serious relationships thus far. He doesn't think the way most straight men (I've met) do. Long conversation short. He would see men and women as competition if he were dating a bisexual woman. He has a lesbian best friend so he has a little perspective :lol: and I know that he wouldn't be ok with an open relationship period. If she went behind his back and messed around with a woman, he would be hurt. It would be over. It would be cheating.

    I think cheating is cheating. Gender doesn't matter.

    I've seen it in the forums and in real life. I've even had a bisexual woman want to date me and still be married to her husband. I've seen the same reasoning. "I want both men and women." and I guess I still have a hard time understanding why it makes it hard for them to settle down with one person. I understand what bisexuality is. Maybe I'm ignorant, but it's almost, to me, like being "I want two women" or "I want two men" "I'm not getting everything I need from this relationship, so I want a second one to fill the gaps" I don't mean to sound negative. I am really curious. I've seen it more and more.
     
  3. MyLittleWorld

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    If your partner doesn't know, it's considered cheating. If that person knows, and is fine with it, than it's ok. Just my opinion.
     
  4. angeluscrzy

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    I think its cheating no matter what gender. And even under the terms of an open relationship, still I'd find it morally questionable. I wouldn't want to waste my time in a relationship where my partner feels the need to roam for anything.
     
  5. ChicoFranco

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    It is cheating according to me, unless you both agree. Because two patners become one when they are in a relationship. When the other goes behind the back of his/her partner trust is broken, feelings are hurt. Cheating is cheating. Its not about vagina-penis, butt-penis or vagina-vagina. Its about breaking the unspoken promise to love each other.
     
  6. LogicNoSense

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    There is a very wide breath as to what cheating is. In dictionary terms: 1) To be sexually unfaithful 2) A person who is dishonest/defrauds

    So by 1) it's an easy margin: as long as you sleep with someone else besides your partner, you're cheating on 'em.

    2) though, is probably what the entire hoo-har is about. For me, if a person is in a relationship with me, and they romantically act in a mutual way with another person (kiss, sex, etc), even if I do know it, it's cheating to me. Regardless of gender. I feel the gender question is more for straight and gay peeps-but to me, regardless of gender, if both parties are mutual and engage in a romantic act, it's cheating.
     
  7. gravechild

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    I never understood the rationale behind this. Cheating is cheating, regardless of the gender of the other person (just like race, age, height, etc. wouldn't excuse it).
     
  8. Linthras

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    To tired to be witty or particularly interesting, but imo, cheating is cheating. Regardless of the genders, numbers or any other aspect of the people you cheat on someone with.
     
  9. Chiroptera

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    Cheating is cheating.

    There are no "buts". It doesn't matter if you cheated with the same gender, with a different gender, with one people, with many people, in the past, in the present.

    When you cheat, you are betraying someone that loves you, or, at least, someone that is your partner and vowed to be only with you (of course, if both parts know what is happening, then it is not cheating). You are risking not only you, but also your partner, when you are exposing yourself to potential diseases. You are lying to someone that trusts you.

    There is no honor in cheating, and, in my opinion, there is no pardon. It doesn't matter the circumstance: If you are questioning, if the relationship isn't good, if you are afraid to talk to your partner, etc.

    A relationship should be based on trust and communication: If something isn't good, communicate with your partner, or, in some cases, end the relationship.

    For example, if you are questioning, talk to your partner. Peraphs he is willing to let you experiment? Or peraphs you both decide that it is best to end the relationship? Or even maintain the monogamous relationship until you figure it out inside your mind? Communication is the key!

    But cheating is never the answer, and it is always wrong.
     
  10. Secrets5

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    I think it's cheating. Ross says it better than me; [FRIENDS, Marta Kauffman & David Crane]

    ''If she [Carol] were marrying another man you wouldn't expect me to go [to her and Susan's wedding]''

    Although he went in the end as Carol's parents didn't and he saw how that upset her.

    Actually, I'm not sure if this quote is related to cheating, other than that Carol cheated on Ross with Susan. But I like FRIENDS, so I'll leave my example in.
     
    #30 Secrets5, Nov 5, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
  11. Rainbow Girl

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    If the agreement is the relationship is monogamous then it's cheating no matter what gender the other person is. If both people have consented to open relationship then usually you can see other people. If people want to be in open relationships I don't see anything wrong with it providing you're honest with your partner(s) and use proper protection so as not to pass on STIs. Not everyone is comfortable being in an open relationship (I don't know that I would be) but if that works for you, you should be able to do that without judgement. But if the agreement is that you're monogamous you should stay we way and not cheat with any gender.
     
  12. Ryu

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    Jesus people...
    It's only cheating if you get caught.
     
  13. pinkpanther

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    If there is an agreement between the two of us then technically it's not cheating, it's an open relationship. Whether I'd ever go for something like that is another matter. I guess I'd be fine with him screwing girls as long as I know that I am the first choice... Otherwise it's no fun.
     
  14. Contact1111

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    A lot of guys feel this way when a woman they with decides to experiment with women. Many even find the whole thing a turn on, even if it happened behind their back. However, I would not feel the same way if I was in that situation. There would be no way for me to know if she would eventually begin falling in love with one of the women she slept with, and then breaking up with me. For me at least, even when I've just had a one night stand, I've always started having feelings for her immediately after the sex was over. If it were up to me, I'd never just sleep with somebody and then not be involved with them afterwards. For me there would always be a certain bond, and being forced into leaving it behind would come with varying degrees of disappointment. If I were him I'd be doubly concerned if the women she was with were friends of hers, and she was seeing them all the time. I'd definitely be sketched out about the possibility of her leaving if I were him. Even if she didn't leave, I'd be concerned that she may find herself more drawn to the women she was with than she was with him. Although the whole threesome thing is a nice fantasy, I think that when people start having sex with those other than the one they are in a relationship with, problems are bound to evolve. This might not be the case with everyone though, and I know some people are okay with it. For some people, it works. For me, I just don't see how that could work.
     
  15. DominantLezStud

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    If I am with a girl and she has sex with a man or another woman.. I'm gone. It's cheating. I'm very territorial. .what's mine is mine and I would NOT be okay with someone putting their hands, lips or genitalia on my girl. :tantrum:
     
  16. waitwhat

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    I don't care what gender that person is, if you betrayed my trust and were intimate in any kind of romantic/physical/sexual way, it's cheating. I don't tolerate dishonesty well, nor do I trust easily, so that would be the end. And I don't understand why it's accepted that if you cheat with someone of the opposite gender that you are currently with, it's not considered cheating. Makes no sense.
     
  17. Contact1111

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    Yeah. To be honest, I don't consider that territorial. I just call it not wanting to be cheated on, which is a normal reaction. In my opinion, once your in a relationship with a person, one of the people sleeping with anyone else is bad news. I think that cheating is wrong, no matter what the circumstances. Also, I think "open relationships" are just a one way road to mistrust and dysfunction. Of course, I'm sure some people don't feel that way.