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Don't know what to do anymore...

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by musiclover78, Nov 2, 2015.

  1. musiclover78

    Regular Member

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    So hey guys i'm 17 year old dude and well as you can imagine i'm confused to sum it up but here's the whole story. I started to feel attracted to boys when i was 12 but i had an experience before that but i felt guilty because i liked it , anyway as time went by i did everything i could to stop being this way even today but i don't see it as something wrong anymore but i'm still afraid of not being able to change, and yes i know that i shouldn't be afraid and that i should accept myself the way i am but i have no idea what to do. No one knows that i feel attracted to boys not even my male best friend (mad at him right now) and neither my female best friend but what i want to say is that when i come out to them or my family and the rest of my friends is that i'm so scared specially my parents that are christians but i will only come out to all of them when i'm no longer living with my family and live alone most likely in another city. During all this time closeted I spent trying to be the stereotypical straight dude and in the last months has worked perfectly and everything is fine but please don't think i would act different even if i get out of the closet since i'm bi or gay(trying to figure it out) but i act manly not that i'm saying that all gay people act feminine or girly just that i don't act that way. Anyway is there more guys here that are going through the same and please help guys any advice. So that's part of the story i'll wait for your answers
     
  2. melissakok

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    Hi there and welcome. Its a scary process at least for me but so free and rewarding to finally be me. I don't fit the stereotypical lesbian mold but that's OK. I've all but given up on molds/boxes. I go day by day now accepting myself. Definitely a process. Its hard to break through years of crap that society and me have put on me! Anyway good luck and you're in the right place on this site. I've found lots of support acceptance and friendship here. Also great idea about waiting to tell your folks until you move out and know/accept yourself more (whatever your orientation).
     
  3. musiclover78

    Regular Member

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    Thanks a lot, that helped me in a big way, you have no idea!!!!!. About my sexual orientation yeah i do hope i can figure it out but the thing is i feel more attracted to boys than girls and well any advice and i do feel i'm in the right place hope i find good friends in here. Also well i liked this girl very much i miss her but you know my other friends told me no to get involved with her and well she changed schools so i got over her we still friends so it's good but i never told her i liked her or anything haha and i was fine till i fell in love with this senior guy and he already graduated high school in june and he's currently in another country but only for a couple months since he's a swimmer and has all this competitions and practice but anyway i don't know how i just started liking him a lot and i still do but i never think of him in a sexual way wich i think is good because i respect him a lot and well i don't know if i should say hi to him in fb chat and you know start getting a long with him but i'm so scared :help:. I think he's the first person ever i fell in love with and i still am but i think he knows something hehe cause he was very nice to me every time i saw him and he always said hi i and said hi back but that killed me of emotion, even better this time i was at the cafeteria getting food and he comes out of nowhere and gave a hug and put his hand over my hand and he also put his heah over my shoulder (best day ever) and i was like so shocked of emotion that i put my head over his head and my hand over his hand and it was the best feeling ever hehe it makes smile every time i think of it. Anyway that's the other part of the story and any advice
    what should i do with everything i have tell you guys do far hehe
     
  4. Psycho Jess

    Psycho Jess Guest

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    Out to everyone
    Heya and welcome! I don't think anyone could say it better than Melissakok. The whole orientation process is confusing and scary and at times painful. Especially if you are trying to fit yourself into a box (ie gay people are girly) people don't fit well in boxes, sadly. Wouldn't it be so much easier if it was that simple? As is, I think you're going along fine. You're only 17. That's precisely when most people, gay, strait, in the middle or something else entirely all start figuring out exactly how to do terrifying things like fall in love. You're probably doing fine. As for coming out of the closet as whatever you decide you are, that's really a case by case thing. My parents found out about me being Bi on accident, and while my dad still thinks I have no clue what I'm doing, my mom was very accepting. However, I also have friends whom's parents went off the deep end. If you are worried about their reaction, waiting until you are more independent couldn't hurt.
     
    #4 Psycho Jess, Nov 2, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2015
  5. happydavid

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    Some people