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Sigh... Should I tell my friends?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Red Unicorn, Oct 26, 2015.

  1. Red Unicorn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
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    Location:
    United States of America
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I came out to my mother a while ago and she took it well but she constantly asks me if I am sure I'm gay. I tell her every time yes but she still asks regularly, I also told my friend (who happens to be bi) and she was completely ok with it, she made me feel good about myself. While I only intended to tell my mother and one of my friends, my mom told my dad without my permission :help: . He thinks I am just going through a phase and tells me to go get a girlfriend, he also tells me that I should reconsider my choice to be gay :bang: . It is hard to educate him on the subject that it isnt a choice as he just denies everything, he is also tells me that it is wrong because god says it is wrong, sigh, I just feel I am getting farther and farther from him, I feel uncomfortable around him. I was (and still a bit) mad at my mom for telling my dad but she only wanted to help, since she does not like keeping secrets from my father. I want to be open about my sexuality at school but I am torn on wether I should be or not. It seems half of my school is homophobic but a bit over half of the school have open minds. I know one of my friends does not like gays but the rest I'm not sure. I made a lesbian friend recently who is very open about it. I asked her how she did it but I feel like it comes down to me having the courage or not. I just don't feel like myself at school if I can't act like...well me :icon_wink . I haven't seen anyone give her trouble for being a lesbian so I feel like I can be open about myself. I also feel like being open so I can possibly find a relationship and not feel so confined. I'm almost sure half of my friends would be ok with it, but I am not sure about the other half :confused: . I just feel stuck and need some help :rolle: .
     
  2. DeadheadPride

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Colorado
    I, personally, would be very open about it at school, in your situation. Even if he is in charge of you legally, your father has no right to force you to be something you're not. If people are homophobic, then they don't matter in your life. For example, if your friend abandons you for who you are, then they shouldn't have been in your life in the first place. Your life is a movie, and you're the protagonist. In every movie, the protagonist will be faced with some (Pardon my French) assholes, but they're just a bump in the road. You're too good for people who will drag you down. If you surround yourself with people who will love and accept you no matter what, then you'll be happy, and they'll be happy!

    I hope that helps!
     
  3. Linus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2015
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    Location:
    Chicago Area
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Person A:"Hey B, how do you know that the bible is god's word?"
    Person B: "Because it says so right here on this page of the bible."

    There is this level of circular thinking that revolves around the bible and god, that doesn't entirely make sense, when you think about it. I believe in higher power, yes, but there's no actual proof that God is against gays. At least, that's how I perceive it.

    on the other hand, it's not so much religion, but rather, society, that shuns people like us. In prospect, your father may have been trying to protect you. My dad is a bit like that too. He keeps wanting me to be certain.

    Whether you come out or not, is up to you. However, it's possible to be quite happy in your closet. With others, their gender/sexuality is like an open secret, something they neither hide nor display. Personally, I see this being the best approach. You don't have to lie to people if they ask you, but you also don't have to openly display it.