Yep. I love who I am. I love the fact that I love what guys look like, how they smell, how they act, lying in bed with my bf and just thinking how amazing it feels to do what comes and feels natural for me. I am completely at ease with who I am. Labels don't worry me. I use the terms to describe myself - gay, gaymo, homo, big homosexual. I don't think I'd ever use queer - for me that just has too many negative connotations in so far as the word itself means that something is 'wrong' or not standard or 'normal'. I feel like I am totally 'normal'. So I like guys? And? If anyone has a problem with that, that's their problem not mine. For the record I have had zero negative activity towards me, despite showing affection in public towards my bf.
Perhaps this should be your theme song!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVsJ8mseIQ8 [YOUTUBE]cVsJ8mseIQ8[/YOUTUBE] Many colors in the homo rainbow Don't be afraid to let your colors shine Many colors in the homo rainbow Show me yours, I'm gonna show you mine If you find a pot of gold Then every little thing Is gonna work out fine In the homo rainbow Many colors in the homo rainbow You give me shade from black to yellow Many colors in the homo rainbow A warm embrace and a kind a hello If you find a pot of gold Then every little thing Is gonna work out fine In the homo rainbow If you find your pot of gold Then every little thing Is gonna work out fine In the homo rainbow Every single color, every walk of life In, out changing sizes, on every day and night From the golden shores of Kansas, to the middle of Japan Reach around your soul and learn your fellow man There are many colors in the homo rainbow Don't be afraid to let your colors shine Don't be ashamed of what God made you
I'm still working on the "felling comfortable" part. When I came out to myself first, a few months ago I thought wow, cool, now everything is so clear, I have never been myself until now, I was ecstatic. Then I realized that every up has its down, and my ups and downs started switching between each other pretty quickly. But in these few months I went through so much shit I had stored in my mind related to being gay and so many other issues...I should give credit for that to myself and remember it the next time I'll lie on the bathroom floor crying... But there are still loads of stuff to sort out in my mind, there are days when I love being gay, there are days when I hate myself and think I'm not gay just making it up. But on my gay days (and those are the days when I'm actually happy) I never feel like I don't want to be gay. It's more like I don't want to be straight now, because I don't want to go back and be unhappy and unfulfilled sexually and romantically, as I've been for so long while considered myself straight. So, I don't want to be back there, no thanks
I was kind of a late bloomer so I'm still getting used to it. I love being with women, and I'm not ashamed in public so much as I am wary of homophobic people and the comments and looks I may get when I walk around holding hands with my girlfriend. As for just by myself, I'm still feeling slightly uncomfortable saying out loud to myself that I'm a lesbian. I'm getting there though.
Yesterday. Yes. Today? Yes. Tomorrow? Ask me tomorrow. I think I'll be happier about when more people know. At the end of the month I'm going to a LBGT event and that day I will be out and see how it feels.
Pretty comfortable, I think. What makes me uncomfortable are straight people who don't know I'm gay and ask me about women.
To me it's not so much reclaiming a term, as expressing it as being a homo, makes it sound we're a seperate species and our sexuality is our sole defining trait.
Yes! No! I'm in love with a nameless dream girl I like to imagine dancing and staying up late with. I have mixed feelings toward the word "lesbian". Somehow, I wish I could share the happy news that I'm gay with everyone. At the same time I want to hide under a blanket of shame forever. In my darkest moments my heart turns to ice and I accuse myself of constructing a horrible lie because what kind of insanity is this, to think that I could be gay? But right now, it feels like my golden little secret.
YES! All of this. I have trouble saying "lesbian" out loud. I'm much more comfortable with the term "gay." Not sure why.
For me personally it is more about being comfortable being me. I am not one for labels either as trying to put a label on who I am based on whom I love, not for me. I am getting more and more comfortable in my own skin, allowing myself to be me and accept that I love who I love, irregardless of gender. Yes gender has been part of the equation because I was raised that girl loves boy, boy loves girl, then boy and girl get married. But I was never awesome at math, and as long as my equation equals to my happiness, then I am good with that.
It's now tomorrow. And YES! I should have realised that today would be a yes, because it's a Monday and I get to see J on Mondays. Five minutes of chatting to her keeps me happy all day. And right now? I love being bi. It means I get to have these feelings about her and enjoy them so much. Enjoy the anticipation of getting to see her. See her smile when I walk in. See her happy to see me. Being bi is fantastic!!! (!)(!)
Why is that? Im the same, my husband refers tome as a lesbianand its, strange? But gay isnt. I refer to myself as gay, most of the time.
Yes I feel the same. Though not sure a word in itself can be weird or it's because we are associating some stuff with it which we still consider negative or undesireable or something. Also gay is gay, but "lesbian" is used so much by straight men for entertainment purposes and I kind of hate that. Another thing I hate, what I've seen online in some places, women writing that "I'm new to the lesbian lifestyle". Wtf is that, seriously? I don't want to "try a new lifestyle", I just want to be myself...
Today? Happy being bi even if I am pissed off with the male partner right now. Never gonna go back to pretending I'm straight. Oh hell no.