So I'm probably going to start counseling for like the eighth time in a month or two and I don't know how to hide it from my counselor because counselors can usually see right through lies. I'm good at lying about most things however if someone brings up if I have a girlfriend I get a huge anxiety attack which prevents me from bluffing to them. I think my mom has also caught on to me being into guys which terrifies me because she can't keep her mouth shut and most of my family is conservative and I just know if I told her I was gay she would post about it on Facebook making me the gossip of our family. Thankfully she is super liberal so I know she would accept me when I come out to her but still I don't want to be outed because I'm not ready until I go off to college for any of this. I've been using my (real) depression as a smokescreen to hopefully keep her from thinking I'm gay but still, any advice from you guys would help me with this.
Is this a mental health counselor? If so I'd suggest not hiding that you're gay at all. Talking with a counselor is your opportunity to vent and get it all out. Be yourself. Be completely honest with yourself and with him/her. I've seen a counselor/therapist plenty of times over the years and I'm completely open with him. Of course that's not to say that everything will be easy to talk about, but that's ok. When you go to the doctor because your sick, you've got to be honest about all your symptoms or they can't truly help you. (I'm not comparing homosexuality with being sick, this is just a metaphor ) I can definitely identify with hiding your sexuality in public with friends and such. All I can say is that it sucks and I'm working through it myself. But concerning your mom, do you think if you talked to her about things, you could explain the importance of not announcing it on Facebook or the rest of the family? Make clear the seriousness of her support on this and define your terms of coming out of the closet, such as when you are ready and/or have started college. I would think, and hope, that if you gave her all the reasons to not announce it, she could respect that. But you know your mom best. I wish you be best buddy! Hang in there! I'm happy to lend an ear if you ever want to vent or just chat.
I agree with the previous poster. If you are going to achieve anything through counselling you need to be open and honest and let out all of your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Counselling isn't easy and that's why so many people give up on the process, but sometimes we need to confront difficult subjects and issues to move on in life and it's a whole lot better doing that with the support of a good, competent counsellor than bottling it up inside and facing it alone. It may be awkward or painful in the short to medium term, but it's worth it to gain long term results. Remember, your counsellor is there to help you, not to judge, hurt or harm you.
Counselors respect the privacy of their patients unless they believe they might be dangerous, and being gay doesn't equal serial killer. I'm sure if you explained to the counselor that you don't want your mom to know, than he/she would not tell. Take a deep breath, hun. Everything will be alright (*hug*)
