I am 57,born female, recently out of a 30-year marriage to a cis-male. Often mistaken for lesbian, and earlier in life, occasionally mistaken for male. Currently living a celibate life and probably will continue as asexual in the LGBTQUIA continuum. I have had platonic "passionate friendships" with both men and women, currently spending time with a trans-woman. I am drawn to her because (I think) she understands what it's like to be uncomfortable in one's own skin. Also because (I think) I find gender ambiguity attractive. I have resisted labels, mostly because they don't fit very well. Until the divorce, the visible parts of my life, college professor husband, 1950's ranch home, cub scout son, provided a framework for interaction with the rest of the world, even if the Ozzie and Harriet image was not entirely the truth. Now that framework is gone and I find that I'm almost invisible to the rest of the world. I'm isolated, lonely and unsure how to ask for the human affection I need to survive. So...that's why I'm here. To find people like me. To see how to cope. Maybe to figure out how gender non-conformists find each other. Are you like me? Can we talk?
Hi there. Welcome! I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin for forever, like 20 years. I am finally learning how to love myself, but it's very difficult. Especially since ive tried to fit into a box for so long. I am learning what I really like, like how to dress, act... It's so hard for me to separate what is attention/approval-seeking and what is really me at this point. I am on here to build more of a community for me also. I also (thank my Higher Power) have a great network of friends around me locally and it keeps growing. But I need lots of support, especially as it's very painful to break through this stuff. Accepting myself and my sexuality is very difficult, but I feel that it will be worth it and a blessing too. Like coming out of a cocoon. Glad you are here. Also, ive been mistaken for a male too in the past. Found out now that I am somewhere in the middle with my looks and such. And im becoming happy with that. Caring so much less about what others think. It's so freeing.
Nice to meetcha. I spent 25 years in Fort Collins. Colorado is a beautiful place. Lucky you having a good local support network. I guess I should take heart that it can happen. Accepting my own sexuality isn't a huge issue for me. I have always had more gay friends than straight. Yes. ALL the yes. I have spent the last 20 years trying to be Mother Teresa hoping it would get me some of what I need. (Seriously, a Den Mother?!) All it really got me was people lining up at my door for another piece of me. Yet, strip that away, and there isn't a lot left to connect with. I just fear that there will never be somebody who loves who I am, whoever that is.
