I used to come out as bi to avoid saying I'm questioning. I now have a new strategy. If I get asked what genders I like I tell people it doesn't matter to me. If they ask me what my orientation is I tell them I don't like labels. I think in some way that's still implying I'm bi. Is this bad as well?
I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all. If they draw assumptions to give you a label (bi or otherwise), that's on them, not you.
There's nothing wrong with that, just say you don't like labels, if they draw assumptions it's on them not you.
It is but only because it further feeds the idea that bisexuality isn't real and that one day, bisexuals are going to come out as either gay, lesbian or straight. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with saying that you're questioning your sexuality. This in no way means that you're confused and you have to let people know that. If you don't let others understand, they're not going to learn.
I refuse to tell people I'm confused or questioning. I used to avoid that by saying I'm bi. I realized the problems with that, so I changed my strategy a bit. I'm just wondering if there's any problems with my new strategy. I feel a bit uncomfortable with my new strategy. I don't know if that's because I'm uncomfortable with coming out in general or there's something wrong with my new strategy.
What you describe is pretty much exactly how my partner describes her sexuality. *I* not infrequently refer to her as bisexual online, because it's easier than explaining the stance you just laid out, and it is functionally true (and she doesn't tend to mind me doing that in an anonymous forum for the reasons I do it). But in real life, she simply spurns labels, beyond the fact that she is definitely queer of *some* stripe. Yes, when this does come up in conversation for her, people do draw the conclusion that she is bisexual. Just like when people find out we're partners, they assume we're lesbians. But this is a problem for the people making the assumption, NOT for her, for me, or for you. For me, the assumption (about me being a lesbian) bothers me (often) enough that I'll say "that's not a safe conclusion to draw simply from the fact that I have a female partner" or something like that (and yeah, if asked or pushed, I'm fine with telling people I am bisexual). Bottom line: I think the way you're handling this is fine and sounds like it works for you.
What if a majority of people who deem themselves to be gay are actually bisexual. If you think of sexuality as a spectrum then it doesn't even make sense for *most* of the population to fall exactly on the 100% or 0% mark, completely being kinsey 6 or 1 gay or heterosexual as many of us claim to. Most would probably be somewhere in the 40-60% range but there would be alot of variation. Naturally as "bisexual" incorporates a much wider amount of the scale, there should be more of them than anything else, it's just that for most of them the attraction is one sided enough to where the feelings for the other sex don't even register and we just interpret this as being Gay or lesbian effectively. So anyway, my point is labels are just a made up thing we use for the sake of convenience, they don't literally mean anything and shouldn't be interpreted as if they do. Use whatever label fits you closest, even if you're 95.3% gay (like me) and the other 5% is there but so insignificant it will never actually be relevant, then go ahead and call yourself gay. For all intents and purposes, you are. Alternatively you could say Fuck labels and be your own thing, as others have suggested.
Well, even though people are judgemental for doing it I still think gay and lesbian people should never "pretend" to be bi because it makes all of us seem confused.
I still go back and forth between labeling myself as bi and pan. Honestly, I've never believed there to be much of a difference between the two. Of course though this all boils down to each individual person's perspective on what each entails. I've always counted them as being mutually exclusive with one another.
