Hi all, just a quick question.. AFAB, identifies as genderfluid. I'm wondering, do other genderfluid persons, (or those that go through that switch) have different names depending on how they happen to identify at that moment? I mean, I'm fine with just male pronouns, but when someone asks my name I would like to give them one (finally settled on Toby) but.. when I'm in that mode should I be asking my friends to call me by that vrs my birthname? I've yet to really start inforcing anything as I'm not completely out.. But I don't want to ask too much of my friends when I do, as just having them watch pronouns around me seems like alot cause I switch back and forth. But, asking them to switch names too, seems like too much. Thoughts?
Maybe a unisex name? I personally don't see the point in 2 names, it'll start to confuse me. If that's what makes you happy, go for it.
Yeah, I was thinking it might be a bit too much. Makes it seem like a whole other person, like spilt personality or something. Which is really something I don't want.
Yeah, I guess you could look into unisex names and stuff. Could be easier but it all depends on your comfort level, do what makes you feel best, others will adjust.
I've gone by Mel my whole life. I wouldn't really identify as gender fluid, but I have always been a "tomboy.". Is there shortened version of your name that would work?
i identify as bigender, and yes i have a guy name and a girl name that only me, my son, and my counselor know.
I'm very fond of my birthname, and think it suits me quite well. But it's very very fem; Sara. Since I'm about 70% of the time in the middle of the spectrum, I think it's alright. On the masculine side of the spectrum, not as often, nor full force fem either. So this rare occurrence maybe this male nick name could be suitable. ---------- Post added 10th Sep 2015 at 09:13 AM ---------- I did look further into the two name option though, and I found a few blog posts about the topic. It's called the John/Jane route. Normally you'd pick something close to your name, but could pass as the other gender version. In this case, Sam might work for example. Though it is indeed a little bit more to be asking of those around you, these genderfluid folk tried to make it as easy for other as possible with little tells, the post writer wore a cord bracelet on male days for example. Where as I'm thinking glasses (as my pair right now are very fem, I'd get a male set) plus something more perhaps. I think that would make me most comfortable. And I figure, people will be quicker to remeber pronouns with these cues along with a nickname/new name. Thoughts?
I have three names, Zach-my birth/male name, Skylar-neutral, and Katie-female. I go by my birth name unless I'm online or with fellow lgbt ppl in which case I go by Katie. I look at it like it's similar to people who go by their middle name, same person, dif name preference.
I also believe that an unisex name would help a lot. That way you're going to be comfortable with your name without having to tell people to change how they call you everytime you switch back and forth
I'm a little worried it'll come off like I'm trying to be a completely different person. It's hard to find that line where I'm the same person, just a different gender. ya know? It's like, makeup, hair, name, clothes. Everything is different. Is that too far? Or is that just the life of a genderfluid. Is it crazy that I just wish I was outright transgender, this flipfloping is so confusing! (I don't mean for that to come off as offensive.. I hope it doesn't.)
In my own opinion, I think picking one gender neutral name would be best. First off, this would give you a sense of solidity in you identity and instead of the "flip-flopping" you would feel more whole in your name. The name, if it's unisex, can represent both aspects of you instead of creating a rift between "two" different yous, which isn't really the case. If your birth name is Sara, you could pick something that sounds similar to it? Saren for example. Do you have any unisex names that you like? Or any letters/sounds to go off so we could give you suggestions (if you wanted)?
I've recently been thinking about gender neutral names. I have problems thinking about the different aspects of my non-binary nature in a coherent fashion. I just want one name that feels like "me" however I happen to be feeling internally or expressing externally on any given day. This is a wholly new thought for me, and the idea resonates. I just worry how my family (especially my children) would react.
