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Homophobic language and friends

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by purplecats, Sep 8, 2015.

  1. purplecats

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    So I came out to one of my friends a while ago and she was very supportive about it and it was great. The problem I have now is she still continually uses slurs and always uses the phrase "that's gay" to talk about something negative. I want to tell her how hurtful the things she says is and try to get her to understand where I'm coming from but I don't know the best was to go about it. She sometimes gets quite an attitude when people try to tell her what she's doing is wrong. I just don't want to come across as if I'm lecturing her or something, I just want her to understand the impact her words have.
     
  2. Jax12

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    I have a friend who does that. The next time she does it I'll say something about it.

    Let her know how you feel. If she was a true friend she'd stop and still be your friend. No need to waste time with people that won't fully support you.

    It's kind of like a bad habit; it's hard to break, you feel me? That's probably where she is right now.
     
  3. Serperior

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    As long as she isn't using it to purposely hurt you I don't see what the problem is
     
  4. Poster

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    I used to say that kind of thing, before I knew. It becomes unconscious, for what it's worth - she probably doesn't mean to offend.
     
  5. resu

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    When she says that, tell her immediately "Hey, you know I'm gay, right? Can you stop using 'That's gay' as a negative?" As others mentioned, she may be doing it unconsciously, but that doesn't make it okay when you're feeling hurt.
     
  6. Phioo

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    This.
    Straight people just say it without even thinking.
    Don't worry, she doesn't want to make you angry or something.
     
  7. RetroRhombus

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    I am mostly gay, and I, dare I say, use Faggot all the time. I just say faggot because I love that word. Me and my friends are all faggots. I am a little faggot. We are all faggots. I really dont care.

    But...
    If it makes you uncomfortable or upset, just ask her to stop. A good friend would respect that.