Describe: how do YOU date a girl

How do I date a girl? Mostly not at all

But okay, wisecracks aside: I don't think there's necessarily THAT much difference between texting guys and girls. So, for what it's worth: my two cents.

First off: texting has some benefits (short bytes of information, doesn't take a ton of time, can take the edge off a first date).
It also has some drawbacks (no body language, hard to say really meaningful things in a couple of lines, some people are horribly sluggish texters).

So: it's good to gauge interest, and get some initial information, and keep in touch, and set up a get-together. (Hell, I text my boyfriend of five years almost daily for those very reasons) Don't keep doing it for months on end without a face-to-face date.


I don't think there's many hard-and-fast rules about frequency.
Other than: if you're continuously texting an unresponsive person, you're texting too much. It's okay to send a text to initiate a conversation once a day or so, but only text back if you're getting any response. It's seriously creepy opening your phone and seeing five unread texts from the same person.

So: if she doesn't reply, give her time. Try to initiate another convo the next day. If she doesn't reply for three or four days in a row, tough news: moving on will be required.


To get more info, you have to volunteer some info. This isn't an interview, after all. So send something like "Whew, crazy day! Five classes, but one was Math, which is my favourite one. How was your day?"

That way, if she likes the idea of getting to know each other, she has a bit of a "template". Easy-peasy to send you the same info on how her day went and perhaps what HER favorite class was.

Essentially: if you want to know something, volunteer something similar yourself, and it makes it easier for her to volunteer the same to you.

Again: if you're receiving nothing but one-word replies, that's a hint that she's either not interested or into texting. And of course, never volunteer truly intimate information this way.


How do you progress as you text? I'm a fan of keeping it short and fun. If you're still texting after a week and a half or so, then try to meet up. Only so much you can do over text, and meeting for a drink is not an unreasonable question to ask.


So yeah: once or twice a day you get to initiate, and after that as long as you get replies back. Give some information to get some information back. If things go badly, take the hint. If they go well, move on to actually meeting up.


And, of course, I'm curious how others answer this.

 

I am the chattiest person on the planet. So I talk a lot. Nonstop. As evidenced by my post count to join date ratio. LMFAO

I say just do what feels natural! Talk to her like you would any new friend. If there's a romantic spark, I'm of the mind it'll naturally flow along. The worst thing you can do is not be genuine. I forced everything along with my ex boyfriends and that's why I was miserably (and blindly) in the closet for so long.

As for pace of texting, don't over think it! Like I said, let it flow naturally. If you want to talk to her tonight, talk to her tonight!

 

I text someone when I want to text them and actually have something to say. I give them time to reply, and never follow up with "..." or "Are you busy?" if they don't reply. If they reply, I reply when I see it and have the time to. That way I feel honest in my interest, but not needy.
I don't believe in texting rules, or playing games. So my first advice would be to stop counting and stop keeping track of the hours at which you text her.

I would say take a look at your text conversations. Is there any substance to them, are you getting to know her, are you learning anything? Is she active in the conversation, does she usually reply? If so, then feel free to go ahead as you have been, since it seems like she doesn't mind and is enjoying the conversation. If not, slow down, and ask yourself if it's possible she's just not interested.
Text her today, sure, if you have something to say.

However, I feel texting should be used to complement actual, non-technological interactions. Your title is strange, because you talk about dating, but the only thing in your post is texting. They're not the same thing.
When my girlfriend and I were in the pre-relationship stages, I texted her almost daily, but we also saw each other almost daily, since we had classes together and lived in buildings facing each other. Your circumstances are different, but getting to know someone can very well happen face-to-face, you know. I'm not suggesting you see her every day, but think about the next time you want to see her.

You can get to know her on a date. In person. Face-to-face. If you're not comfortable with that, invite her to hang out (coffee, a movie, a drink, a picnic, whatever) with you and a friend of yours, and tell her she can bring a friend, too. That way it won't feel like a date, but you'll still get to spend time with her and talk to her.

 

Hmm, comparing my dating and love life history so far i can say that dating a girl is more pricey and expensive compared to dating a guy. Probably because of social standards, do's and don't that makes it a bit complicated.

My opinion probably biased since i'm gay, but since i'm only ever dated 1 guy which is my current boyfriend and more than 15 girls (i think this includes the less than 2 weeks GF, i completely forgot the count of only long terms). here is my usual when i still date girls :

VERY FIRST TIME :
"Hello", "How are you", "What module you took this semester", "Which professor thought you that lesson", "i heard that he is known for [...]"
make a small and easy conversation, dont drive it too fast, when i was in this phase i usually exchange chat with rate 1 message every 2 hours (more or less).

AFTER A WHILE :
"Hey have you seen this movie?", "Wanna watch it together"
this stage you may ask for interest, hobbies, favorite band, movies, song, something general but nothing personal, ask for hang out, but at this stage i never go just the two of us, i usually brought one of my friend and she brought one as well. Split the cost and do not pay for her (i never pay at this stage because it rise suspicion). By the time i reach this phase the chat exchange rate was 1 message/hours

ONCE YOU'RE COMFORTABLE :
Start move to something personal, her basic needs.
"Good morning", "Don't forget to have your breakfast", "Have you eat dinner, if you haven't wanna have one with me", "What time do you go to work or campus", "i can drive you there, let me fetch you tomorrow at [...], dont worry your place is in my regular route"
, "dont sleep too late"... This stage, when you want to hang out for movie or food the guy usually pays. Hang out only just the two of you, occasionally brought friend is okay. During dinner or hangout with only two of you you may ask for something personal if you think it was the right moment. If you decide to fetch her dont tell her that its the other way around of your regular route, it would make her feel uncomfortable. Absolutely do not ask gas money. During this phase usually my chat exchange rate is 1 message every 5 to 10 minutes. In this phase try to communicate with phone calls as well (at least that's what i used to do).

i dont know whether this is applicable to you
as i previously stated, the standard in my place are pretty weird:
1. Guy have to initiate communication, if the girl starts it then reply ASAP
2. Guy have to make the decision or at least give options and never empty headed
3. Guy have to pay when hang out just the two of you
4. Get to know her friend PRIOR dating and establish a good contact (this person knows more things that you dont)
5. [If you ride a car] Guy have to fetch the girl every date, and return her home safely
6. [If you dont have a car and decide to meet up somewhere] During the parting time, you have to ensure that she get a cab/ride and get in and watch up to the license plate not clearly visible
7. Always walk inline with your girl
and a lot more standard that expected

dating guys is more simple, no standards just enjoy the ride

anyway

good luck, hopefully you get the result you want (*hug*)(*hug*)

 

Treat her like a human being, and smile.

It sounds fucking insane, but it works.

 

I'll give these questions a shot, though I haven't dated much either. Still, from the perspective of the girl who's been with guys and is trying to get with girls now, I can try to help!

How do you text at first?
--- There really isn't one single way to text first. If you already know each other (even just as acquaintances) you could say something as simple as "how is your day going?" If you don't know each other much at all, you should do something more thought out, like asking about her interests. There isn't one way to do this! But I would highly recommend not starting every texting conversation the same way.

How do you use texting to get to know her , her interests, her personality, what she likes etc?
--- Don't use texting too much for this. You can't see her body language, reactions, or hear her tone of voice. Go over some basics in texts, but then maybe ask her for coffee or something. It could be a very casual date, and then you can get to know her better face to face! But if you insist on doing more of the getting to know her through text, asking her what she likes to do, what movies she likes, and how she spends her free time would work.

How do you progress as you text?
--- Don't always start with the same text! Don't give one word answers. If you feel the conversation dying with your reply, ask her a question. Send pictures! (I do not mean nudes). Make her laugh.

How is your pace of texting( days or houra between conversations, and how the pace changes as you progress)
--- I'm really bad about this. Being OCD, I have a pattern I go by. I would usually text int he evening, every evening. This is not necessary. However, if it is obvious that you both seem interested in each other but aren't actually going on, you should text daily for awhile. It will make her nervous if she's interested and then doesn't hear from you. Also, by texting daily it also shows that you're interested! But you don't need to text all day either. Don't be clingy, just interested!

Hope this helped!

 

Buy her shoes.
Win.

 

Apparently I don't. Lol but above all just treat her nicely & make her feel loved? I guess.

 

I don't anymore but when I used to; I'd open doors be the gentleman type. Buy them things on valentines day, Christmas, their birthdays, but I never got anything back... I'd go 110% than get a break up letter in my locker...