I dont even know where to begin..im currently married to my best friend. We met online 4 years ago and she really is the best thing that has walked into my life. It was all going perfect until a few months ago. Just to clear a few things up. We live with each other now. Anyway, up until a few months ago it was beyond berfect, but lately, even though ill be in her presence, Ive started to feel a lot more lonely now than I did a couple years ago when we were talking on the internet. She gets so moody towards me after I try my up most best to do everything I can, but it doesnt last. She's blunt towards me most days. She shows no affection towards me, like, I love spooning, but with her, its a mission to even get her to spoon me. She always tells me she loves me though. I moved over 3000 miles to be with her, leaving my own family behind. Im so homesick and lonely and she doesnt even see it. I cry myself to sleep most nights because she just treats me like a stranger 80% of the time. Her mum is the only one keeping me above water and sane at the moment. Sometimes I wonder if im just on this ride alone and she's just drying me up. I feel half the person I was 2 years ago and its killing me on the inside. She wont cuddle or anything. Her mum says that im too patient, but id go any distance to keep my wife happy, but damn, I honestly thought shed do the same :icon_sad: I wish she could see how much I am hurting, but she doesn't even ask how I am most days. I honestly feel depressed. I would talk to a family member or a friend of mine, but I have too much pride to admit that I feel lonely and I know at least one of them would say 'I told you so'. :bang:
The go-to solution to this kind of problem is therapy. One for you, one for her, one for the marriage specifically. It's a different thing when someone's always been non-affectionate, it's a whole different game when its a recent change. Ask her what the fuck is up because you are essentially married to an automated machine. 1) Seriously, ask her what's going on. If being 'blunt' means 'being turned off by confrontation, and quick to snub' then keep your side of the story integrated with your questions and avoid being accusatory. (ex. What's been going in the past few months? Are you aware of how unhappy I am?) 2) If she becomes more open/receptive, then you can let her know how you've been doing. 3) Regardless of how your talk goes, find a therapist. Things aren't going to be fixed right away and you've been feeling terrible for a while. If things don't work out, you need to be ready. Bonus: Forget pride and talk to friends/family. Get the I-told-you's out of the way and keep a stiff upper lip about it. Some people would rather brag than be useful. (Note that I'm legit pissed that you're being treated this way.)
