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The floor still thinks I'm straight

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nick1020, Aug 27, 2015.

  1. Nick1020

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    Day 10...the guys on my floor still think I'm straight. I pass as straight even though I'm not. I wear a pride wristband and have a few pride stickers on some of my stuff but they haven't seemed to have noticed. How can I make it painfully obvious to them that I am gay without directly telling them. Im out in the sense that if asked I'll answer honestly however, I don't preface myself with my sexuality. If it come up it comes up. The guys are real heteronormative and constantly call each other gay, fag and queer in a joking sense and I don't correct them because I don't want to be the swear police. Anyways, how do I tell them I'm gay without words. Thanks.
     
  2. Blue787Bunny

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    Maybe they thought that you were just really into rainbows :slight_smile: Or maybe they do know you're gay but just don't make a big deal out of it, not enough to talk to you about it.

    But here are some ideas:

    (1) Talk a lot about gay issues or gays in the media.
    (2) Casually talk about an ex-boyfriend or boyfriend, if applicable. Especially when they bring up the topics of girlfriends.
    (3) Talk about gay community groups you are involved in or even a recent visit to a gay bar.
    (4) Join a LGBT Support Group in your school.
    (5) Find the chattiest person in your floor. One you know is likely to spill the beans to others and nonchalantly tell him that you are gay.
    (6) Maybe casually leave a photo of yourself and a boyfriend if needed kissing, lying around somewhere for someone to find it.
    (7) Learn how to say or write gay in another language and write it down on your book or some place people are bound to see it.
     
    #2 Blue787Bunny, Aug 27, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2015
  3. Schloss

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    Many times people use these pejorative without actually being homophobic. They might actually feel bad themselves for using these words once you do come out. It's not a given, but it's quite possible. I'm not big on "giving hints", I'd rather tell them directly (although when I was younger I couldn't do that). You're not being a thought police if you tell them nicely that you find it offensive. I've been in that situation as well and it surprisingly turned out to be much better than I expected. Once you feel you have enough strength to tell them confidently, the rest will come easily. All the strength to you. Years later you might turn back and feel very proud of what you did.
     
  4. Yossarian

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    If they have missed the pride bracelet, you can always up the ante with a pride T-shirt of some kind that you can wear around the dorm at night, when you aren't going out anywhere. Like your "lounging at home" casual wear, worn with gym shorts or whatever you wear when you are studying in your room or hanging out in your building. Maybe with a bit of rainbow on it or "I can't even think straight" or something like that.
     
  5. 50ishandout

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    A real ice breaker would be when one guy calls another a fag, you could chime in "You Too". That would definitely be a way to get it out, no pun intended.
     
  6. dcfan

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    I find "my boyfriend and I did..." or "my ex boyfriend and I once visited..." works really well in these situations. it happens quickly, but nobody misses it.