Intelligence differences in relationships.

IQ test are overrated, and it only shows one variable of intelligence which is Intellectual area, they dont cover the Emotional Intelligence. I have took test several times and most of the result shows a 135+ IQ and in pediatric term i used to be categorized as children with special needs. Yes i got a pretty high score, but that doesn't seems to make me have a decent intellectual capability.

Comparing my intelligence with my BF (he's 23) i'm not even close to his. Got his Master degree by the age of 21 which i consider pretty spectacular when comparing to me who recently awarded the bachelor degree at the same age But i never actually ask his IQ tho, i dont really know how to put this in a conversation with him...

High score on IQ test does not guarantee that the person is smart at something. Even with my score i myself are intellectually below my peers which according to them they only score around 110 to 125. I'm actually pretty dumb even though i have good IQ scores.

I personally have no problem dating someone with difference intellectually, as long as he care for me and more mature than i am, then i'm okay with it. if they have high IQ and he doesn't have decent emotional intelligence (cold and heartless person with so sympathy at all) i'd rather not having a relationship with that kind of person. Because i know they wont understand or even care about my needs in the relationship.

In my personal opinion, intelligence depends on many factors, for example : educational background, exposure, maturity, experience, reasoning capability, ability to analyze and synthesize new information and a lot more other things. Its a learning process and will progress with time...

 

Stupid people usually frustrate me, so I don't think I could date one. I would always be trying to compete with someone smarter than me, but I would give the relationship a shot.

 

Agreed that IQ is overrated as a measure of intelligence. Also, there are so many different kinds of intelligence that comparing two people (with either the same or very different IQ's) *can* feel like comparing apples to oranges.

Bottom line (to me) is that in any healthy relationship, there is respect between the partners. If you have a hard time respecting someone whose intelligence (measured by IQ or in any other way) is much lower than yours, then you shouldn't date such a person. Some people have this issue; some people don't. On the flip-side, if your intelligence is lower than your partner's, but you still feel respected by them, I see no issue...if you're going to have ego issues around that (regardless of their level of respect), that would be a red flag.

So I would break this question down into two sub-questions:
(1) Do you find it easy a respect a person whose intelligence is (significantly) lower than yours?
(2) Do you have ego issues when you're around a person/people who are (significantly) more intelligent than you are?

Of course, my answers to these are still rather simplistic and go back to respect. For (1), intelligence is *one* important way to gain my respect (though it's no guarantee)...but as long as the person has other qualities I respect, I can still respect a person who is significantly less intelligent than I am. For (2), as long as this more intelligent person is treating me with respect, I'm fine (I can look forward to growing from the association)...but if they're treating me like I'm stupid (not because I am, but because perhaps I look like it next to their greatness), then yeah, that hurts...or at least rankles...and I'm likely to respond by treating them like the asshole they are.

 

I guess for me, I'd want someone who's at least close to being on the same page as me. Everyone's intelligent in different ways. What matters more for me is that we can have a good conversation, we've got some things in common, and yet we've got strengths and some interests in different areas to keep things interesting.

 

Intelligence level.. ummm. I act don't know.. I mean I don't exactly know how this whole twin flame thing works exactly..
But I'm guessing since, me being the more spiritual one in the relationship( usually you have that with twin flames, one is more spirituality grounded than the other).
So I guess me= ideals, and not logic.. but I know the difference between when I'm being had or not

Him= more logical, skepticism, maybe a bit cocky. My opposite sounds like a mouth, huh XD?

Getting off track bere. Sorry\(=-=)/. I don't really think intelligence matters. But in terms of humour and witty banter, innuendo.. I'm all up for it.

---------- Post added 26th Aug 2015 at 04:52 PM ----------

If I'm in a relationship with someone who's more knowledgeable than me I don't even get discouraged. I'm staring in awe at how amazing they're and how this smarticle chose me lols.
I take it as,an opportunity to learn from them and probably they could learn from me.
Even grade A+ idiots can teach smarticles (nickname for really smart people).
Individuality is an amazing thing. Everyone excels in one subject than the other person. So he might be book wise smart( have a high iq), but my emotional intelligence might be high (eq)

 

My ex was a bit of a dolt. It didn't work out between us. I think that explains a bit.

 

Beautifully said kaiser (!)(!)(!)

 

Considering I'm ostracized at college for being too smart and intellectual (at this point I socialize more with professors than with my peers), I suppose I would want to be with someone who could at least get where I'm coming from. He wouldn't have to be terribly knowledgeable, but it would be enough for me if he was at least intellectually curious. I intend to build a career in academia, so I don't think a relationship would get very far if we couldn't discuss my studies, research, teaching, etc.

It's unfortunate that there is such an obstinate anti-intellectualism here in the US. I'm often explicitly made fun of for being too smart, as if that were possible.

Every day I leave home expecting to encounter reasonably intelligent adults, yet I constantly feel like I'm talking to toddlers. I don't think that would work well in a relationship. I have no doubt there are innumerable people who are much smarter than I am. However, I'm weary of dealing with people who think I'm weird or stuck up because I care more about learning than partying.

 

I personally don't really care about intelligence level in terms of academics. I place more importance on someone's ability to think critically and have deep and meaningful conversations. I'd like my partner to be my intellectual equal. I need someone to talk to about existence and life. Deep convos are the shit.

 

Of the level of intellegence isn't too far apart it's fine. But issues arise when the difference in maturity and/or intelligence are really pronounced. You could feel it!

 

I'm not a hugely intelligent person, I only got C's at school and the only A I ever got was in Science and that was for one test. But I'm the imaginative storyteller, so I'm not too let down by my average intelligence, cause my creative side is what replaces me being intelligent.

But anyway to answer the question, a smarter boyfriend I could totally live with cause I'd learn things every day from him. I also would do okay with a boy with less than average intelligence. But he'd have to either be super creative or even have a hundred times more social intelligence, (I have barely any social intelligence). for me to date him. So I think someone with extremely low intelligence I couldn't really make a relationship work.

 

I quite like this post actually, as of right now I'm in a tough situation.. personal life wise, & in terms of intelligence, never felt like I measured up to certain people I was interested in, in terms of intelligence & certain experiences.. for me most of the times I try to stay away from certain types, because I just feel like it wouldn't work.. that we'd be two different people, I think I'm fairly smart.. but not as smart as some. I know I shouldn't say that, but.. I do feel a bit inferior to certain types sometimes.

 

This thread makes me want to go take an IQ test. I've never "officially" been tested for one.

 

Intelligence differences definitely play a major role in whether or not I'm attracted to/interested in someone. They can be the sexiest person in the world but if they're not running on all cylinders then I lose interest fairly easily...

 

I definitely find intelligence a turn on. That being said, there are a few definitions of intelligence, the biggest one being common sense. What it really boils down to is a compatibility of personalities.

 

I dunno... I spend a lot of time conversing with people who don't have as good of grades as I do so I think I could date someone who had a lower smartness level.