So yesterday I was very happy with being bisexual. But then, I went to lesbian porn to see if I was. I got an erection, and I started masturbating to it. I started to lose it as I went on. I went on a few other lesbian videos and they did little to nothing. Then I went on a gay video and I got an erection again. I then went on a lesbian video to finish, and by the time I orgasmed, I was mostly flacid? I got really scared, so I went to straight porn and didn't get an erection. Then I went on gay porn and I did. I usually can get and keep an erection. I don't know if I have HOCD, I was masturbating too much (Recently I was masturbating 3-5 times a day to figure out my sexuality, and usually not to porn) or is I am in serious denial. I'm so scared right now. What do you guys think? I just want to know my sexuality and stop worrying about but we have to live in a world where you can get discriminated because of who you are attracted to. My life is already hard enough, missing my right hand, being overweight, and getting bullied. I just want to stay in bed and do nothing all day. And one last thing. I don't know my reason of not getting an erection, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't attracted to women. I am attracted to their butts and vaginas. And all the other times i masturbated without porn, it was to women. However some times I did switch to guys then go back to women. And I thought that I was heteroromantic. (I never had a girlfriend, but I've only had crushes on girls.) but am I just lying to myself? Just because of this I'm so scared of being gay because my family won't accept me. If you actually read this whole thing, thank you so much. Do you guys think I'm in denial? And also to the gay people and lesbians and bisexuals, have you gone through something similar? Thanks!:help::help:
You shouldn't do porn for a while. Nor label yourself. Just take a break. Sexuality will be there tomorrow, next week, next month etc. You are quite confuse now, so the best thing is to rest and enjoy life.
It may just be stress. Masturbation is meant there be a stress free activity. If you are this worried I would say you are stressed and the stress then caused the recurring problem. Do whatever it takes you to calm down and try again. If it still happens. Don't worry. Everyone on EC will support you even if the others in your life won't. Edit: taking a break will help as well
Hello xvigil5. I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. I am not the most sorted person at the moment, but I can share my thoughts. Firstly, try relying more on real life situations, day to day life to see whom you feel attracted to. When you hang around guys and girls, how does it differ? Does the attraction differ towards guys and girls in any sense? You say you switched back from guys to girls while masturbating without porn...you could think if this is was because you were scared or if it felt more naturally arousing to you to switch to back to girls. Porn is a very unreliable indicator of sexuality. It can be arousing to watch it, irrespective of the gender/s involved in it. Please don't feel down. We're here for you. I hope you feel better
Don't feel sad / upset by not knowing the answers to your questions xvigil5! Figuring things out about yourself is the fun part of life! Enjoy the journey, and see where it leads you. Don't let physical, mental or emotional constraints weigh you down (easier said than done, of course) - these doubts and questions are what life is about. Breathe easy and enjoy the process
I don't think that this says much about your orientation, to be honest. It's just a preference for porn. But it sounds like you may be bisexual if you have a sexual attraction towards guys. Personally, I like watching two guys together because (in porn) it is a lot more 'real' than watching lesbian porn. And straight porn is just so cringey because the women are usually treated so horribly. Although, my orientation definitely swings a lot more towards girls. Don't look into it too much. Just focus on your real life attractions
I don't think you should try to figure out your sexuality by watching porn. Actually, porn says very little about someone's sexual orientation, heck there are quite a few lesbians out there who enjoy gay male porn. There's a huge gap between fantasy, what turns you on visually and reality. I think you should focus less on what kind of porn turns you on and more on exploring real life attractions and relationships.
