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Sorry for venting again...depression is hard

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by loveislove01, Aug 19, 2015.

  1. loveislove01

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    ...well, I have phases and they are triggered by the smallest things..and last maybe, a few days?
    It's like I have depression for a week and I don't have it the next week, and then it comes back. It's not a set period of time though...it just happens.

    I have minor problems, anxiety socially, scared for high school, parents sometimes showing favoritism..but when I'm in these phases I feel absolutely hopeless.

    I want to sometimes rip open my chest and cut my heart in half and just, DIE. Nothing justifies these feelings. I live in a decent situation and I have minor problems as I mentioned above....

    It's hard to explain. During my "up" period of time, I can still be upset, but it's not as intense and my default emotion is happiness. I think positively and logically.

    My "down" phase is usually triggered by something small; like looking at myself in the mirror, seeing that I'm back up to 96 pounds (which is a good weight for me- on the skinny side...but I want to be pretty...) not being recognized for hard work...

    So it's triggered by that and I usually have a strong reaction to it. This strong reaction lasts two hours at most. But after that, I feel down. During this phase (can last a while) my default mood is sad...

    I'm currently feeling depressed for a while...

    I don't know. I want to hurt and I feel really sad sfor no reason
     
  2. blurry

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    I had the same problem, I've learned how to lessen the burn by consistantly telling myself and others the positives despite being negative myself, but often the negative does come and it hits hard. Often I'll have a full blown mental breakdown....
     
  3. BrokenRecord

    BrokenRecord Guest

    I know just how you feel. I've been suffering from depression ever since I was a little younger than you and most of it has been caused by things that are not my fault, like serious bullying. Those down days feel like they last forever at a time, and the up days can sometimes be few and far between. Luckily, ever since I came here, I found my down periods starting to be the scarce periods and much shorter, thanks to the help of the community on this site. I find it helps me feel less alone in those bouts of depression, as well as letting me be open like I never could be in real life. Just remember that you are not alone in feeling these things, and you can always find solace in talking to your friends at EC. I wish you better days in the future. :thumbsup:
     
  4. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    First: please don't apologize for venting, sweetie; it's great that you're doing it.

    You're not alone. I feel like you do... a lot...

    Actually I'm there now so I don't have much energy to write. I just wanted yo write a few lines...

    Take care
     
  5. zgirl81

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    You're not alone with depression.

    I've suffered on and off since middle school. I got so bad during high school that I tried to kill myself. While counting my blessings and forcing happy thoughts through my head helped a little bit there are times that nothing I do myself can help pull me out of those "down" periods. And while depression for some people ends and never returns, for me I know it will be a life long battle.

    That's where friends and family become extremely important! During my last "down" period this past year I basically became rooted to the couch. Nothing was getting through my dark cloud except for two things: my husband making sure I ate, and my siblings sending silly texts. I clung to them, and eventually started to get better.

    So while I don't know if it'll help you, I try to remember this: When I have no strength of my own I can (and should) rely on the strength of others.