I'm not 100% about my sexuality. I think I might just be bi-curious but I dunno. So let's say I'm bi. I've been feeling depressed for the longest not being able to tell anyone my sexuality. I can't tell my family because they are a bunch of homophobic basterds! (Don't get me wrong I love my family) I can't tell any of my friends because they'll gossip it up everywhere like their some little girls! (Also they are homophobic) And I thought about telling my counselor but......I don't know if I can trust her. She literally talks and hangs out with the other teachers outside of school. I remember when I talked to her about my depression with my break with my 2nd gf and the next day teachers who wouldn't even pay attention to me unless it's work literally would pat me on the back, say hi, give me wishes, and cheer me up. Like I wasn't that upset with her because I felt amazing that day. I also really don't want to be seen walking into a lgbt center especially by family and friends. I now suicide is not the answer so decided to write notes about every day in my life. And looked on the bright side. So I started sleeping a lot. :sleep:I slept a soon as I got home from school and slept throughout every weekend**Idk but this may be the beginning to a healthy lifestyle. If I were to commit suicide/end it all. I would first see if anyone would accept me and my sexuality.**But 1 by 1 throughout the day.*:help::help::help::help:
You're still very young, so don't feel pressured into coming out immediately, especially since you say you are not 100% sure. I just want to ask: what is your academic situation? Finishing school? starting college?
I'd say you're probably not in a great place but there is obviously very little wrong with how you feel. Slowly you will start to accept yourself over time. I think you might find someone more sympathetic to how you feel, or even another closeted person at school who can be a good friend if you find them. But speaking up against other people's fears or bringing up your own opinions on the topic or defending lgbt people against your friends can be a positive thing if someone agrees with you. It isn't until the boat rocks a little bit that you find your true friends. If they bring it up, just speak up a little. like, if a friend of mine were to say "I think it's gross" I usually just play the "why" game. I keep asking why they think so. And by asking I don't have to insert my own opinion. And when one person questions homophobic behavior, or ANY deviant behaviors, the others in the group may start to take your side. Come out to them if you feel comfortable! But in my opinion? Find OUT who is truly homophobic and who is really just trying to fit in. You will find good friends in those whose moral character is challenged and they pass the test.
I agree with this. You can ask them, out of curiosity, what they thought of the recent same-sex marriage, or you can make up a story, like there is a gay guy in school and you don't know what to think about it. This is just for you to get to know what they really think about the issue. Some people just seem like they're homophobic but they're just trying to fit in. Sorry you have to go through this though a lot of us have been there but just have a lil bit of hope that it's bound to get better
The reason I asked about your education is because if you are due to be starting college or a new school, then that will give you a new environment and new people to associate with. Yes, it is difficult to be surrounded by peers who insult homosexuals, but you won't be in that school and surrounded by those same people forever. When you move on to college or whatever else you choose to do after wards, that will give you a fresh start in life - an all new environment with all new people to interact with (hopefully people who are more accepting towards lgbt people) and this can make coming out a bit easier. It's what worked for me, anyway - finishing school, leaving behind all those memories of homophobic peers - and starting a new course and meeting all new people, and no longer having to care what those old peers thought about my sexuality.
I agree with that assessment. And it does seem. Frantic right now most likely. I think a lot of us understand that on-edge-pacing-the-floor feeling you can get when you have something on your chest that you want to talk about but you can do it. You have hopefully more than FIVE TIMES more life left to live than the life you've already lived.
I think you should really talk with the school counselor because this seems to be more than just a sexuality issue, and just mention to her you don't want this discussed with others (she shouldn't do that in the first place). Try not to sleep so much because it can make depression worse.
i'm good now, told her ---------- Post added 18th Nov 2015 at 04:41 AM ---------- im good now that i told her