A little history. I was out with just my classmates back when I was in grade school. When I was in high school, we moved to the Middle East because of my father's job. My family doesn't know. And with the Arab culture, I decided to act straight since then. Now. I'm back to my home country. I'm a senior in college and still acting straight. I've had a straight relationship when I was a sophomore that lasted two weeks because it felt so wrong. All my friends in my circle assume that I am straight and they still talk about that girl (like wth!?) The thing is. I'm starting to date guys now. They know that I am dating but they all ask like: "So who's this girl?" "Show us a pic." etc. I'm feeling squeezed every day now. And I hate myself for lying to their faces the 3 years we are together. I want to come out and I feel like I'm ready for it. It's just I find it hard to find a timing. One of them is celebrating her birthday this coming week. And I'm planning to do it there. Would it be a right time? Or should I just set up one occasion where we could all-meet (we're currently not all classmates) and I officially tell them? And what are the things/questions I should prepare for after I came out to them? And do you think it's alright to come out as Bi first?
If you know you're gay, don't come out as bi. Why cover up a lie with another lie? If you don't think it will be a big deal to your friends (and not steal away a lot of the spotlight from the birthday girl), then it could be a good to do it while everyone's together. If you find it hard to come out to a lot of people at once, there's nothing wrong with telling one person at a time.
Come out as what you are; it is the current misrepresentation which is causing you problems, so you don't want to perpetuate the myth with a different myth that is also wrong. Just tell them that you have been struggling to identify what your sexuality is, that you have dated both women and men to figure it out, and that you have decided that you are more comfortable dating men. Then show them a picture of your boyfriend if you want to introduce him to them.
Loved the rhyme. Don't know if it was intended but thumbs up Back to the topic here, You had an upbringing in an Arabic culture. Most Arab countries are authoritarian (except probably Lebanon which is more liberal) and have a very limited understanding and acceptance of sexuality. If it was anywhere in the Arabian Gulf, I can totally understand your struggle, as I briefly lived there too. I think where you grew up could have a lot to do with how much you accept yourself. I would imagine an Arabic country is not an ideal place to come to terms with your sexuality. But since you've moved into a completely different culture that is a LOT more liberal than any Arabic country (again, except Lebanon), there is a different view. I don't see the harm in coming out as gay instead of bi, you might be really surprised by the outcome.
If you know you're not bi, don't come out as such because you think it might be easier for them to take. Unless you know that they're all going to take it casually, I don't think you should come out at a birthday party. It's her day and it might not go well if any of them take the news badly. If all of you meet outside of the party, that might be good. You could also take advantage of them all being together to set up your own hang-out for later.
