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Should All Bisexuals Have Preferences?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Emerson96, Aug 6, 2015.

  1. Emerson96

    Emerson96 Guest

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    I realized I was bisexual around the age of 14 years old. Instantly people would ask me:

    • What do you prefer?
    • Who are you more attracted to?
    • Which one do you think looks sexier? Etc..


    For some reason those questions always bugged me, because I don’t really have a preference, I think I have always liked guys and girls equally but differently. They have different body parts, what the hell am I comparing? Can you really compare the male and female body? It’s like comparing an apple to an orange in my brain. I prefer “bisexual” porn because it usually incorporates attractive men AND women, just what I like!

    When I hug men it feels different from when I hug women, when I touch girls it feels different from when I touch boys but I like their differences and appreciate their differences equally.

    I always feel pressured having to choose one or like one more than the other, I don’t know why this makes me so upset and if I should have a preference?
     
  2. Yosia

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    We feel pressured because everything in society is very binary, which means one or the other and no inbetween. Personally, if someone asked me who i preferred, my answer would be "people who dont ask such questions."
     
  3. Linthras

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    To answer the question in the title of this thread: no.
    To answer the other questions:

    1. I have no noticable preference either way.
    2. People with a personality that attracts me, regradless of gender.
    3. Neither, both.

    I other words you're not the only one who doesn't have a preference.

    ---------- Post added 6th Aug 2015 at 08:57 PM ----------

    ^ this ^ excellent response.
     
  4. The Purple One3

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    There is NEVER a have to, when it comes to your sexuality. If you like women just as much as men, that is you, and if you ever preferred one over the other, that is just as okay.(*hug*)
     
  5. Emerson96

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    I guess a lot of my confusion also stems from bisexuals themselves, it seems like bisexuals with no preference are a rarity?
     
  6. Seagypsy

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    I don't think you have to have a 'preference' for one gender or another, even if you have other types of preferences. For example, I have a preference for androgynous people, but not necessarily men or women. If a person has the right blend of traits, I don't care what their body parts are, I can love them just the same! Just as I would have no attraction to persons who don't have the blend of traits I like.
     
    #6 Seagypsy, Aug 6, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2015
  7. Honest4You

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    I think bisexual people who are more or so neutral about their preferences tend to lay low, because they don't feel a need to draw so much attention to their gay side if that makes any sense? Least that's the theory I've come up with after meeting several bisexuals. Versus bisexuals who have a strong gay side tend to struggle with their straight side or their gay side depending on how strong it is.
     
  8. XenaxGabby

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    I don't think I have a preference anymore but I am more attracted to women. That probably doesn't make much sense but whatever.
     
  9. Emerson96

    Emerson96 Guest

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    There's no problem with being more attracted to one or the other, or having a preference. I was just always curious why every bisexual person I meet is so polarized, maybe I am too and I'm in-denial about it but I genuinely don't feel like I have a preference, again I like the differences between men and women and I appreciate them equally.

    ---------- Post added 6th Aug 2015 at 04:19 PM ----------

    That theory actually makes sense to me too.
     
  10. sunshinebi

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    I don't think you need a preference but if you have one then more power to you.

    For me personally:

    I truly have no preference.

    I think the second and third questions are kind of similar so I'll just answer them with one response:

    It really depends on the individual. However, I like the chest and shoulders on guys. On girls I'd have to say I like the legs and hips.
     
  11. Incredibull

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    As far as number and quality of attractions, they are about the same. Just who fits the criteria.

    Preferences towards females: Masculine demeanor, fit body, and strong personality with shorter hair.

    Preferences towards males: Feminine demeanor, fit thinner body, with a fun personality.
     
    #11 Incredibull, Aug 6, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2015
  12. Elodie

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    Interesting to have a pressure to have a preference.
    I have to agree with others here, I hope it doesn't sound like a cop-out to the question, but really, I figure sexuality is just as unique as individuals. So what bisexual means for me very likely won't mean the same thing to others. I think that's a good thing.
     
  13. CB1186

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    I think a lot of those questions feed into the common practice of discrediting bisexuals of really being attracted to both genders. I feel like as soon as you pick a partner people label you straight or gay. I feel equally attracted to both genders.
     
  14. Pret Allez

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    No, god dammit.

    You're allowed to like whoever you want.
     
  15. MetalRice

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    No, of course not, everyone can like whoever they want; it doesn't matter one bit.
     
  16. Lyana

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    Part of it is also that some straight or gay people like to think they can know which gender you will "end up with." Some people think that you have to choose eventually -- after all, you have to marry someone, right? (Wrong. And even if it were right, still doesn't mean you have a preference.)

    I'm bi, and honestly feel as if I don't have a preference. Maybe that will change. I don't know, and don't really care.
    A gay guy once told me, "Really? I thought 50/50 bisexuals were a myth." That almost made me laugh. Here we are, trying to encourage people into thinking that sexuality is a spectrum and you don't need to be 50/50 to be bi -- and there he was, thinking that everyone has to have a preference. Oops.