I'll try not to be too graphic about this, but as someone who enjoys stimulating his prostrate but has never had penetrative sex with a man, I wonder why size is an issue at all. I can get off and have the best orgasms of my life using nothing but my index finger. And not only are my fingers not that big, but even one must be well-lubed in order to get in there. I understand that some men work up to being able to have larger toys or partners, but I don't know what the point or obsession is with size. For me, if I were with someone even at the high end of average, there might be a problem. I don't see why I should train my body to take any more than that unless it's for someone I'm in love with. Can someone explain the whole "size queen" phenomenon to me? Or why the everyday gay or bi man would reject a smaller partner or seek out a larger one?
I get that, but I guess it makes more sense to me that a woman would benefit from a partner with a bigger penis, whereas with a man the main point of stimulation is pretty close to the entrance. Maybe I'm just naive, but it seems like I'm missing something.
I think it's the media that reinforces this image, so people think its better to go for bigger - happens with women as well, they all want big butts and big boobs XP Hmm, I'm trying to think of when the media began this image, and how it became so imprinted today... I don't know, I've never cared much for news so media doesn't bother me.
The way I see it is size doesn't matter but it's nice to look at, least in my opinion it looks more erotic and fun to play with. I don't discriminate against the smaller ones though, but it's not to say that they excite me as easily as those with reasonable length
There is an evolutionary reason behind it in terms of procreation which I won't go into. But mostly I blame porn.
I understand the visual stimulation I suppose. It seems, and this may be somewhat judgmental, a quite shallow criteria by which to judge someone to me. Then again, I've done a lot of growing up. I was once so consumed with body image issues that I became suicidal. I posted a full frontal nude photo of myself on tumblr that to date has received 388 notes, primarily from gay men with sweet and positive things to say. That helped tremendously. And I'm dead on average in size. I think someone around my size—perhaps a little smaller or a little bigger—would be a perfect fit for me physically. But, I do see that not everyone has the same needs and way of viewing things. I'm more interested in a relationship than getting laid, not that there's anything wrong with getting laid. I better stop before I dig a hole I can't climb out of...no pun intended
yea me neither. i never understood why men, gay men in particular are so concern with size. from my experience, the bigger ones disappoints the most.
I blame pornography for this. Big boobs and big penises everywhere, obviously they don't reflect real life either. To me size doesn't matter and I'm sure many other gay men think the same.
It is what it is. For those on the receiving end of intercourse, I guess the sensation must be more earth shattering. I would imagine that if the person is enormous, the sensation would be just plain shattering. ---------- Post added 5th Aug 2015 at 07:08 PM ---------- I don't think the word everyday applies, but it might be slightly more common. For the person catching the well endowed individual, it's a feather in the cap. For the person in possession of larger equipment, they can pat themselves on the back over and over. A friend and I who discuss these things mentioned that some overly large guys who also happen to be very self-assured increases the amount of sex they have. The feeling of exhilaration is only a fleeting one, as it is with most sex. I don't think that, overall, that guarantees them more happiness. Nor does fetching one guarantee happiness either. And, like others have said, it is media driven but it's also driven by basic desire too.
In the current culture, being well endowed is a sign of male virility, most women like penises that are slightly bigger than the average, and I guess gay men follow that stereotype. From my experience big does not mean better, the person attached to the penis plays far bigger role than the penis itself.
I honestly think its cause men are more able to sexually fetishize things to a degree of fanaticism, add porn into the mix and we have what we have now. Wither that is due to culture or biology, I do not know, and I really don't understand when people insert evolution to justify everything sexual. I think sexuality has a lot more to do with emotional baggage personally. Even you just posted about what size of a penis would be a perfect fit for you, so why do you have a problem with someone who likes big penises. Let me guess, because you don't have one your self?, you want one but can't find any? what is it?. What's next, why do you like a muscled man, why do you not like vagina? like why'd you pick that of all the things to wonder about. Personally I used to find big penises the ultimate fantasy, until I got one, and let me tell you, porn is not the real deal at all. It was a chore not fun at all, but still I watch porn and get off on that fantasy (albeit much less intensely due to the experience). That's why I find porn very destructive in my opinion. I know damn well I can't live up to that fantasy, but still that's what gets me off?, odd. It's like a delicious commercial of a burger sandwich, that you know damn well is gonna wreck your health, but it looks ow so damn gewd. You said something about it making sense for a woman to like a big penis?, what do you mean by that, I think a considerable amount of women struggle with vaginal pain during intercourse, and find big penises a hassle, again this is a porn thing that a lot of women do not...celebrate it as much as far as I have personally seen.
By your logic I could say you think men more often sexually fetishize because you clearly fetishize things. I said women would more likely benefit from a larger penis, at least in length, because the g-spot is typically farther into the vagina than the prostate is into the anus of a man. Though, on further reflection, you do have a point—many women get off on clitoral stimulation, which doesn't require any penetration at all. The entire thesis of my post is based on anatomy, not mental arousal. If you say a big penis turns you on more visually, I can understand that, which is what I posted before. Based on my criteria, I still wouldn't seek out a big penis even if I had one, because it would still be something that would potentially cause me pain. So, essentially what I'm saying is that if a big dick turns you on and a small or average one turns you off, that is fine. In my estimation it's shallow, but what I think doesn't really matter. I have no moral problem with people liking big penises. I just wanted other perspectives on why it seems to be such an obsession. Culture and visual stimulus were provided as answers, but I've yet to read a physical reason why for men one is better than the other. I am romantically attracted to other men. I don't watch a lot of porn. I mean...I do watch porn, but it's an occasional thing for me. When I am pleasuring myself I'm more focused on my physical sensations than watching anything. Perhaps that is where I am different; I don't know. I would date someone if they had a small penis, an average penis, or a big penis, though the latter would be a challenge for me physically. Those things are secondary at best to me, and apparently to a lot of other men—which is encouraging. I merely wanted to learn others' opinions.
I apologies if I am sounding harsh or blunt. Yes I absolutely admit to being very fetishistic to my own demise, big penises is the least of my problematic fantasies trust me. Do I think I am unreasonable?? Absolutely, but that's..sexuality to me I wish I could do something about it but. I did not mean to say you shouldn't ask per se, but I have had a lot of problems with..men not fessing up to what their actual fantasy is. Sexuality is rarely politically or biologically 'correct' imo, I think that is one thing that we generally deny. Then we try to coat it that, oh well I don't really get why is this or that person doing so, big penises are a very popular porn item, even to straight men in straight porn. They want to see a big penis do work??? WHY??.../shrug. If we talk anatomy, according to medical professionals, the anus is an exit only organ, so..justifying what size should be ok for a penis if you are guy is..pointless. We humans do a lot of things that are not 'justified'. Then again nature its self does not make sense #painfulchildbirth. Why are feminine men with small penises typically off putting to a gay guy?, but at the same time it is considered very inappropriate to fess up to that. Because in my opinion, men put a lot of weight on the validity of their 'sexuality'. Be it straight or gay. We walk around saying oh I just want a nice guy/girl with *specific features that I find fair enough*, I don't care about this or that, but I have seen it a lot that a lot of those who claim this stuff, they do things underground, and it really pisses me off, that they appear to be 'decent', but then end up doing horrible stuff #cheating. Just own your shallowness and choose either to concur it or don't. It's like, look...I love cheesecake, I really do, I'd eat it all day. but that stuff is just bad for me. That's human nature we do not always like what actually is good for us or vice versa, but for some reason this logic applies to food with no political turmoil, but sexuality on the other hand is considered this force that needs to be respected and justified all the time now a days. Be it straight or gay btw.
In my opinion, size is only interesting if your only purpose is "looking". For a partner, I would say I could look past size if I was into other aspects of him. "Average" is just fine in my book. (*hug*)
You bring up an important point, thetruthhurts88. I'm bisexual, and therefore I don't find feminine features objectionable. That's another reason why I appreciate the opportunity to learn from the opinions and experiences of gay men. I don't have a lot of fetishes...any really that I can conjure up. But I will admit to having a lot of hang-ups about my body, which definitely has shaped how I see things. I'm not promiscuous, which again I will qualify by stating I have no moral problem with people who are—it's just that I'm not. It may seem spurious or trite, but I am actually far more interested in love than sex. If sex were to be an expression of love that would be an ideal situation in my mind. I've never understood people being so obsessed with sex outside of an emotional attachment. It seems like too much trouble to me, and I can just stay home and make myself cum. But that's how my brain works. Maybe I should acknowledge that the way others think is just as valid. I will reiterate, though, that reading that so many men are interested in an emotional connection is heartening.
It's actually not true that large penises give women better sex. I've heard from numerous women that they hurt like hell! When it's over, that large penis men pride themselves in looks like "a beached whale" (to quote a friend). Average is best. As for the G-spot, I hate to break it to you, but that's largely a myth. It's all about the clitoris... always has been and always will be. However, it is true that many women enjoy the appearance of a large penis and get turned on by it... just don't want it inside of them.
