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Pan? Gay? Help!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by notrlyunique, Aug 4, 2015.

  1. notrlyunique

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey, I've come out as pan(romantical) to a few of my friends and identify as that when I get asked but recently I've been questioning about it because I feel like I don't feel attracted to males at all. I know that I do like girls and I don't know how I would feel about agender/genderfluid/bigender/etc people because I haven't experienced anything with these yet, I don't know "how they are". Also because I've come out to a few people as pan I feel like I can't just "change" to lesbian(/maybe poly but as I said I don't know about others) but I really don't like boys. (Please note that this isn't about sex with girls or boys, I'm asexual so it's not about having sex with a boy and if I like it or with a girl and if I like that more.)
     
  2. Alder

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Wandering
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey there!

    It's perfectly fine to be questioning a label, even if you have already come out to a few people. There is nothing wrong with "changing to lesbian"/or to any other orientation- anyways, you're not actually changing your orientation, you're just changing what you're labelling yourself after figuring some stuff out/realizing something more about yourself. That's perfectly okay, you can always explain to your friends that you've realized that and that you might have been wrong before. They should understand that.

    You can take some more time to see how you feel about agender/genderfluid/bigender/etc people, but at the moment you can maybe use a label you think suits best to who you are interested in at the moment or what you think suits best from previous experiences/attractions. Or if you're comfortable just staying unlabelled for now and letting people know you're not interested/into guys, that is okay too, as you take time to figure some stuff out. Good luck!
     
  3. Honest4You

    Honest4You Guest

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I for one see no issue in you changing a label, it’s just a label in the end. It doesn’t define you as a person it only defines a certain part of your identity that is always subjected to change. At that I personally wouldn’t view it as a change neither, you could simply say you misjudged and misinterpreted, common human error..life goes on.