I know straights have become more accepting of GLBT people , but there are still lots of them that aren't .I work around several of them that are not accepting(some have mentioned how they hate gays or think being gay is gross). That's one reason why I am so quiet at work. No one at work knows of my sexuality but I think they suspect. They wonder why someone my age doesn't have a girlfriend,wife or kids. People at work pick on me because I am quiet (that has happened at every job I have had). Over the past week, several of my co workers have asked me questions about me not being a relationship or married or when the last time was that I had sex with a woman . I feel as though I am almost being forced out of the closet. Whenever I am around straight people (not just at work) , because I feel like a lot of straight people secretly judge GLBT people and think that our 'lifestyle' is nasty. I have not came out to anyone in quite a while because of this, especially at work. Plus, I am somewhat jealous/bitter/anger toward straights....it is easier for them to find love, to have a family (gays can do that too but with some obstacles), to get the approval from relatives when they find a relationship or get married, and they don't have to deal with people shoving their religious beliefs down their throats about their 'lifestyle'.
Part of that could be where you live. Lovely as the Deep South is, it's not the most progressive region. But as far as people asking invasive questions, I'd honestly just tell them something like "I haven't met the right person yet. And I don't know about children yet". That way you're not lying but you're not outing yourself either. And when they ask you how long it's been since you've had sex with a woman... "Too long". Take them by surprise. Not all straight people are like that and I know it's natural to feel bitter. Where do you work? Does your HR have non-discrimination policies in place?
I have tried saying that line about children and people look at me crazy when I say that because I am 32. I work at a warehouse and I don't think they have anything in their discrimination policy that protects GLBT people . I need to look into it to be sure, though. There is an openly gay guy that works there in another dept and I have heard people talk so much crap about him. This job is not a career for me so I don't plan on staying around forever so I am just trying to hold on til I can figure out a way to get the hell out of there.
Weird that people would be so weird about someone not having kids at 32. Aren't most people waiting to have kids until then? At least nowadays. Unless you're in the kind of town where everyone marries out of high school (which may be likely). Maybe see if there's a way to get in touch with the openly gay guy? He could be an important ally if you're able to talk to him. If he's open, it may be a good sign that he still has job security.
I dislike being surrounded by str8s, bc also their ignorance, and how they never have to have that burden of discovering and accepting your identity, they're rather unrelatable, as they often don't understand queer struggles.
Yeah I think alot of folks wait to have kids so I don't know why I get comments. Maybe those people who say stuff have not been around a diverse group of people . Yeah I think you are right. maybe I should talk to the openly gay guy and get to know him. Yeah, that lack of a burden they have is part of my bitterness toward them.
I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to people who pry and are just generally unpleasant people, but you're denying yourself a lot of good connections by not talking to anyone about it. Burdens are a very human experience and one that empathetic people can relate to across boundaries of orientation and gender. I'm not a man and have never had any kind of pregnancy scare, but one of my close friends' ex-girlfriend lied to and manipulated him with the topic and I can empathize. I've spent my life watching everyone be horrible in a different way, so it's not like I feel safer here than anywhere else.
I don't dislike being near straight people. I don't dislike being surrounded by them. My parents are straight. Some of my friends are straight. A lot of people in the world, are straight. I don't let my bad experiences with a few people in a group of people make me bitter towards the entire group of people. Becuase what good would that do for me? Nothing. It'll just make me angry, sad, and unhappy, while all of the people that I'm bitter towards go on to live their lives. While being straight is definitely easier than being LGBT, I've learned to accept that becuase there's nothing I can do about it. So, please don't let bad experiences make you resentful towards a large group of people, because in the long run, you're only hurting yourself.
