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To people who support spanking kids

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Driftr, Aug 3, 2015.

  1. Driftr

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    I have a question for people in general (and any EC members) who support spanking.

    I know that people who support spanking say that it makes the child learn their lesson, but if that is the case, should spanking be introduced into the education system to make children learn their lesson better and make grades go up? Should we take it to the next step and make bosses spank their employees in the workplace to get the job done faster and meet deadlines earlier?

    And also, is it even true that spanking can make kids learn better? Is there even any scientific fact that proves this (I'm actually kinda scared that it's somehow true lool)?

    So who is really in the wrong at the end of the day? Parents who spank their kids or parent's who don't? What do you think?
     
  2. AfraidandAlone

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    I fully support spanking your kids. Now it shouldn't be a first resort and you don't need to beat them but a firm smack on the ass never did any one any harm. It also helps them learn that if you break the rules there are conciquences. I was spanked and never had any issues about being afraid of my parents instead I was afraid of what would happen if I got caught doing somthing I shouldn't. As for school no because It is to hard to monitor weather the teacher is being abusive. For the work place again no, if the employee does somthing wrong write them up it they keep doing it there is the door.
     
  3. Wallace N

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    Slippery slope, there. A parent is in a much different position than a teacher or a boss. While all three have authority, and while a teacher and a parent both have authority over children, that does not mean they are all the same.

    I don't "support spanking" in the sense that in general, I think there are better methods of parenting, but I do support it in that I don't consider it abuse and I believe that for some children, spanking is the only way they'll learn. Some kids simply do not respond to other types of punishment. All children are different and there is no one-size-fits-all form of discipline that works. That said, I do not believe in belongs in schools. It isn't a teacher's job to decide that certain children deserve corporal punishment and it is also too easy to abuse.

    And no, I was never spanked.
     
  4. Batman

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    I think it really depends on the child.

    Children react differently to different kinds of punishment. Some understand the implications of their actions with regular reprimanding and emotional punishment, while others need physical repercussions in order to learn. Because of that, I don't think it's reasonable for it to be introduced in the education system (as well as for many other reasons).

    :frowning2: That made me sound like I agree with beating children. All I'm saying is that spanking worked out well for me.
     
  5. Cider

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    The issue with spanking is that there is a very thin line between spanking for discipline and just physically abusing your child. So, that's why most people I know don't really support spanking.
     
  6. Driftr

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    Ok. Nice to hear other's viewpoints. But what would you say about kids who got spanked when they were little and still end up out of line when they grow older?

    I'm sure a lot of kids in gangs and what not have had their fare share of spanks when they were little. How do you explain that? And a lot of children who were never spanked still grow up to be well adjusted individuals.

    So should we just get rid of shows like Supernanny? Should we burn all books about ways to discipline while avoid spanking?
     
  7. DreamerBoy17

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    I support it with parents only. Only a parent can know what punishment is right for their child, and as long as the parent makes their message known but doesn't make the kid hurt into the next day, I don't think the government should step into the way parents can raise their kids. It's the same thing with letting your kids walk alone to the park, really (parents have been arrested for this). The parent just needs to understand what works for their kid. That being said, there is a big difference between spanking and abuse. I would define spanking as very temporary pain that doesn't carry into the next day. Abuse would be continual hitting for no good reason and causing more severe injury.
    And yes, my siblings were spanked as kids, but I never was (I was always the goody-two-shoes in my family).
     
  8. Ruby Dragon

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    Neither is wrong. Some parents can teach their children manners without having to spank them, whilst others need to spank their children to gain control over how they treat others. When I read the title, I immediately thought of a picture I saw on Facebook:

    [​IMG]

    I am not opposed to spanking to discipline a child. At the end of the day, it's up to the child's parents to decide on spanking or no spanking.

    I also have to add that we got "time out" too. We had to sit in the bathroom until we stopped crying. We knew our boundaries, and every child needs a definite boundary in order to feel secure. In my opinion, anyway. How you communicate/enforce those boundaries, though, is your choice.

    I also want to add: Spanking in school is ok in my opinion, but with that said, discipline is not the teachers' responsibility. Discipline starts at home.
     
  9. AfraidandAlone

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    First and for most I don't think spanking should by any means be the first form of diciplin, however there comes a point where if the child is still miss behaving or not listening they need to realize who is in charge and who the parents are. As far as kids that got spanked and are still out of line? Chances are there are other underlying problems such as , FAS, nemerous mental illnesses, abuse (physical, mental etc...) and not necessarily by the parents. They could also be sociopathic or their parents simply set a bad example while expecting better from their children. For the most part a lot of the kids I really knew (never had many friends) most of them got spanked, and most of them turned out to be decent people. On the other hand the few kids I know who didn't get spanked most of them have ended up in jail or dead through poor choices most of which I think damn if I even thought of doing that my mom would beat me (a slight exaggeration possibly hehehe). Not to say I haven't made poor choices but there are defiantly some things that even still make me think hmm yup if I did that as a kid I would get a smack and deserve it. I defiantly no expert and I am sure that is not the case for every one but even still as an adult it seems like the more people I meet who were spanked as kids tend to be far more polite and thoughtful while those who went tend to be rude jerks. There is always the exception to the rule and some kids just done need that extra diciplin or other methods work better.
     
  10. Aussie792

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    Spanking is rarely more than an immediate fix to problems of indiscipline, one which allows many parents and would allow (God forbid) teachers to ignore the broader problems which result in indiscipline and forget to pursue less aggressive, but longer-term solutions.

    I have no doubt that most people who say spanking did them no harm would have ended up polite (many who do say that they ended up with respect for others, however, blatantly lie on this point, as happened on this forum in one of the previous threads on this topic) and without trauma.

    Above all, I believe that spanking is humiliating and instils the idea that a person in a position of power doesn't require justification if they can simply make use of physical force and brutality to get the job done. If you get spanked for failing to clean your room or to do your homework, you will do those in fear of being spanked. It takes more effort, but is infinitely more valuable, to teach that cleanliness and caring about school matter for their own sake and the natural consequences of neglecting either are unpleasant, rather than relying on the fear of being hit.
     
    #10 Aussie792, Aug 3, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2015
  11. Lin1

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    I am all for spanking as long as it's justified and used as a last resort. I find ridiculous people comparing it to abuse. I have been spanked as a child when I pushed the limit too far (and I knew exactly I was doing it) and it didn't affect me in anyway, taught me respect and limits. My younger brothers are from the new generation and have been raised with the whole new ' don't discipline your child too harshly' policy which is another way for 'let your child do anything so that he doesn't grow old too traumatized' and let me tell you, they have NO respect and my mother have NO control over them a couple spanks would have sorted this out a long time ago.
    The problem with this society is that most people seem to shout abuse at the smallest form of discipline over a child this is being ridiculous. Kids need boundaries to grow up, they need rules and they need those rules to be reinforced. For some children, time outs are enough for others spanking is necessary and there is nothing wrong with that.


    I have seen abuse as my neighbours were clearly beating up their children (that were in my school) and my father was a vicious and violent man so I have seen it and I have heard it and to compare an harmless spank (yes harmless cause the spank I received never hurt they were just upsetting because nobody like being reprimanded) to full on physical abuse is almost offensive in my opinion.

    I am sure the million child that are being beaten would rather receive the odd slap on the butt when they misbehave than being constantly beaten with sometime much more than a palm...
     
  12. Aussie792

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    And how many of those parents you have mentioned, Linning, do you suppose justify their actions as righteous discipline?

    Do you think that there is a clear distinction between correct and incorrect violence against children? How do we differentiate the right sort from the wrong sort?
     
    #12 Aussie792, Aug 4, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2015
  13. Lin1

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    I would say the intention the parents have. For example when my mom spanked me because I had crossed the line it was never hard and never with the purpose of hurting me, just the one of making me learn that there is a line I shouldn't cross and that if I did cross that line there would be consequences either time outs etc... or a tap on the butt (spanking was never first resort too.)

    People who beat their children do it with the purpose of hurting them and often use violence as first resort and response to all kind of misbehaviour.

    I don't judge parents by their form of discipline (as long as they don't beat their children obviously) as they should do what works best for their family and their children.
     
  14. Aussie792

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    If it is to be any disincentive at all, surely pain is always a factor in the parent's decision, regardless of whether it is what you regard as benign spanking.
     
  15. Lin1

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    I guess everybody have different views on things, I personally have no problem with the fact that I got spanked as a child, nor do I have life-lasting effect of some sort because of it so don't see it remotely as abuse, some will think that's horrendous. I personally think child obesity is much more horrendous and detrimental to a child than an odd slap on the butt. each to their own. :slight_smile:
     
  16. Linthras

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    The only lesson taught by spanking is: if people don't do what you tell them, you're allowed to use physical violence to 'convince' them.
    I have no problem with parents physically restraining their kids, especially when they're violence, but there's no excuse for hitting or spanking them.
    Especially since there's no agreed upon or rigourous defined line between spanking and hitting.

    The scientific evidence also seems to reflect more harm than good, with the good being nothing more than an immediate temporary response, rather than a change in behaviour:
    Is Corporal Punishment an Effective Means of Discipline?
     
  17. Nekobi

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    Personally I'm against spanking. I know many people agree that it teaches unbehaved children respect and things and I don't think people that have been spanked as children have grown up badly or anything but the way I view it it's a bit like ruling with fear and like Linthras said it just seems to teach violence.

    If I had a child though and a teacher or boss tried to spank them, that teacher would be getting a lot more than a spanking themselves, if you know what I mean. (did that sound weird?)

    So whilst I'm a little on the fence with parents being able to do it, I'm definetely against anyone else doing it. I'd agree that's quite different.
     
  18. BryanM

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    In the end, parents are going to choose whatever works best for disciplining their kids, but I personally do not think that spanking works as well as people say it does, and it is not something I will use on my kids in the future. Note: I am not saying that all of the following qualities and traits are shown by all who were spanked as children, simply that statistically, they have been shown to be the group more likely to show these qualities.

    First, spanking children gives them the implication that physical violence is an acceptable way to show their anger. There is a direct correlation between corporal punishment as a kid and aggressive or violent behaviour as teenagers and adults.

    Second, in many cases of so-called "bad behaviour", a child is simply only reacting the only way they know how when they are being deprived of basic needs of an infant to a toddler to even an older kid. These include water, food, proper sleep, sufficient freedom to explore the world around them in a safe parameter, and most importantly, the attention of their parents. It's unfair to punish a child for responding in a natural way for them when one of these needs are deprived, and it distracts from teaching the child.

    Third, spanking and hitting distracts from learning how to resolve conflict in a constructive way. As educator John Holt wrote, "When we make a child afraid, we stop learning dead in its tracks." Punished children instead of being conducive to learning from their mistakes, become filled with fear and anger towards the person who punished them by spanking them. This deprives them of the opportunity to learn why their actions were incorrect.

    Fourth, punishing your child interferes with the bond between parent and child, as it is not in human nature for one to feel love and affection for one that hurts us (it is more commonly referred to as Stockholm Syndrome when one does feel this towards one who hurts them). Even when punishment looks as if it is working, it only produces superficial good behaviour based upon fear. Otherwise, cooperation based upon feeling of mutual respect is something that is able to help children become lifelong problem solvers.

    Fifth, spanked children more than likely become impulse spankers themselves when they are parents. They were not taught how to resolve conflict effectively as children in most situations, and conflict often will escalate more quickly to spanking/physical punishment.

    Sixth, there is becoming somewhat of a downward curve in kids who are spanked. While these forms of punishment may seem to work earlier on, they later begin to lose their effectiveness and ultimately create more anger-filled teenagers and adults.

    Seventh, spanking on the buttocks can also create in a child's mind the association between pain and sexual pleasure later on in life, which can be problematic later in life. If children receive little attention from their parents other than when they're being punished, it will further confuse the difference between pain and pleasure later in life.

    Eighth, as younger children, even moderate spanking can be dangerous to the child. Blows to the lower end of the spinal column send shock waves along the spine, which can injure young children. The prevalence of lower back pain in adults may eventually be connected with childhood punishment.

    Finally, physical punishment gives the child the incorrect notion that "might makes right", and that it is permissible to hurt someone else provided that they are smaller and weaker than them. The child can possibly go to mistreating younger children and siblings in some cases. As adults, these individuals also tend to be less sympathetic towards those who are less fortunate than them, and they will also end up fearing those more powerful than them in some cases. This can hinder the establishment of relationships needed to fulfilling an emotionally stable life.

    These reasons, also paired with scientific findings from child psychologists make me not want to discipline my child through physical means.
     
  19. Batman

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    I really hope that wasn't me :frowning2: If so, I'm sorry!


    An interesting trend that seems to be forming in the comments is people in support of spanking were spanked, and those against were not (or at least haven't expressed that they were).
     
    #19 Batman, Aug 4, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2015
  20. Im Hazel

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    If someone likes pain, why would this be a punishment?