I've never had any issues about dating. Then it dawned on me, now I have to deal with potential negative responses from both sides. I wouldn't come out and say anything on a first date but maybe after a month. I'm worried if I date a girl, her response will be "Eww! Bye" and if I date a guy, his response will be "Yeah! Threesome!" How do others deal with this?
Hey XenaxGabby, I'm also a bi girl and yes, some people will react like that. But look at it from another perspective: being bi allows you to immediately weed out those ignorant or prejudiced people. If they're not interested in dating you just because of your orientation, trust me: they're not the kind of person you'd want to date, anyway. With a girl, it actually might come up on the first date -- you might share coming out stories, for example. It's just something that can happen when you're talking to another LGBT+ person. And, really, being upfront about it is probably best, if you're actually afraid she'd dump you for it. Why waste a month on someone who wouldn't give the real you a chance? There are many lesbians out there (and bi women, of course) who will date bi ladies. Focus on those ones. With a guy, well... If threesomes are not on the table for you and that's his immediate reaction, you just need to explain to him what bisexuality really means to you. The guy may still find it hot, but ultimately, if you're not down for a threesome, in that respect you won't be very different from any straight girl he's dated, and he should get over it pretty quickly. If he pressures you, well, he's obviously not a great guy and you should get out of there. That's my way of looking at this issue, at least.
Thanks Lyana I see what you mean about the "story sharing" early on with a girl. It's just something we all bring up casually. Hypothetically, should it be brought up early on if I'm dating a guy? Oh and threesomes are 1000% off the table, regardless of the gender composition.
I think Lyana said it perfectly. There is always ignorant people who are either bi-phobic or think bisexuals women are a great opportunity to get a threesome, unfortunately it's something we have to deal with. To be fair I would bring it up as early as possible with a girl as you don't want to waste too much time with a girl if ultimately she has a problem with bisexuals people.
I think that's your call. You don't have to make a big deal out of it, but if you're discussing past or future relationships (what you look for in a partner, for example), then it can come up. I don't think it has to be on the first date, especially if you're not interested in an open relationship or threesomes. I just wouldn't advise lying about it or deliberately hiding it. It's the same thing as with a girl, really -- if he has an issue with it, you probably don't want him in your life. When you start knowing a guy, you'll want to get some idea of his opinions on LGBT stuff (pretty easy right now, you just have to mention the Supreme Court ruling). If the guy turns out to be homophobic... even if he has no issue with your sexuality, you two are probably not going to get along. If the dates turn into a relationship, you'll eventually want to tell him, to share that part of yourself. By that point it shouldn't be a problem. So don't overthink it too much, and say it when you feel like it.
You're making a generalization at far best even though your generalizations are valid to some degree, but you have to consider that not every gay girl will be threatened or put off by your bisexuality and not every guy will fetish-size it either, actually I know a good batch of guys who are put off with "sharing their women" in bed with either male/female. You seem to be over thinking it, have to keep your mind open to lure in like-minded individuals
