Stigmas/Stereotypes/Etc.

Well, as a bisexual/pansexual person who is really out to my friends, I generally I have a lot of support. With people who I'm not as close to though, I get asked questions which I find pretty silly or a little distasteful. "You can't be bi if you haven't dated anyone yet, how can you like both females and males, you're just another person who's trying to be different." So yeah, generally a lot of people who are just really misinformed. It's important for people to just listen for a bit and be open minded, and not assume that someone who is a little different is just faking it.

 

Well, my parents haven't ever said anything about me being in a phase, which is great, but along with questions that i might get asked I do hear some doubt implied, like, "are you *still* bisexual?" or something like that, which doesn't bother me too much. I have seen that kind of stuff with other friends of mine though. With gender, especially for my parents, it's just new to them, the idea of a non-binary, but they're usually up for listening. I'm not out to them about my gender identity, though.

 

Most of the stereotypes that affect me the most is we're all going through a phase and will find the right guy/girl one day. Or that as a lesbian it means that I have been hurt by men and hate men, while neither are true. No man has hurt me, and I don't hate them, but I just don't find them sexually appealing.

 

I wish I could help, but having only just come out of the woodwork, I do t have the experience yet to offer any input.

 

oh wow...my dad pulled that same type of move once he'd run through every other homophobic thing he could think of.

but...yeah


So anyways...back to your question

I can't say too much more than my experiences with my dad. He went straight for the 'beastiality' and 'hell' card when he first found out. I guess beastiality trumps the pedo card that other homophobes like to play, but either way it was really hurtful at the time and even now sometimes it has a sting when I think about it.

As a bisexual person I also faced one instance of biphobia from a gay couple once. They told me that I was just being indecisive and that I'd come around, and that one didn't really hurt so much as confuse me. I wasn't really expecting a gay couple to say something phobic to me so I spent the day feeling tid bit confused about the whole thing.

 

I'm fortunate to have never been subjected to stereotyping but as a bi male, I can tell you about a few. It would be quicker for you to just google biphobia though and you can read all about it. Unfortunately, there are abundant instances where bi phobia comes from both the straight and gay communities and so we get attacked and stereotyped from both sides.

Fortunately that doesn't happen on this site as everyone here is awesome.

Happy days

 

As a transgender person, I guess the most severe stereotype projected at me is that I'm deluding myself and that transgenderism is just teenagers trying to be cool.

Being bisexual but unsure of my preferences people can stereotype me for "really only liking guys/girls".

 

Aside from what has been said, one thing that really irritates folks is:

"Who is the 'man' and the 'woman' in the relationship?"

 

I identify as bisexual, and I'm out to friends and if asked by anybody except my family.
I've been called desperate and slut, because I like both sexes, and people have told me I'm creepy and think I'm automatically hitting on them because I'm bi when I make it clear I have a girlfriend. One person even asked me how many times I cheated on my girlfriend.
It really makes me upset when people form judgments like that and treat me or my relationship any different from a straight one.
I'm never ashamed of being bi, or loving a girl, but they destroy my confidence sometimes.

As for tips for a potential/future counsellor, I'd say don't tell the young LGBTQ+ community that they're going through a phase, or are too young to understand. Because some teens are pretty mature and know what they are talking about.

 

In the Philippines, when you say youre gay people will expect you to be very feminine (in action and in the way you dress). I am gay, but I am not into anything feminine. There's this one time where I was caught in the "crossfire" of homophobic comments from my family and relatives and one of them told me that I would be very ugly in dress. Im like, even if I come out to all of you I wouldnt change the way I act and the way I dress.

It is weird that lesbians are more accepted by the Philippine community than the gays.

 

One of the negative associations of homosexuality that I have come across is this assumption that homosexuality is somehow "more sexual" than any other sexuality. That homosexuality is borne only out of lust. Telling someone that they "can't love" because they're homosexual is about as low as you can go.

 

As a transgender person, I think the thing that gets to me most and can potentially lead to dangerous situations is that a lot of ignorant people seem to think we want to trick them. I'm not trying to trick anybody. It puts me in a tough spot a lot, do I tell this person I am trans? If I do they may hate me for other ignorant reasons beside the trickery. It's most common when dating, or trying to date, especially in the traditional sense where you don't have a profile you can say you are trans on.

It's effected me a lot and still affects me to this day. I was getting close to someone who I thought knew I was trans. Right before things got intimate he made a comment that implied I was a cis female, so I had to abruptly end what was happening. I mean I could have told him earlier and any other point but I had always assumed he knew.

Maybe my example didn't promote the stereotype but the stereotype lead to me ending things because people can get violent and you don't know who is accepting or not so you always have to be careful.

Every counsellor I've seen has no experience with trans people. If I had to give a tip it would be to at least learn a bit about transgender folk because I've been asked loads of stereotypical questions from counsellors themselves and that made me feel bad since they should know these things, at least in my opinion.

 

I'm transmale, but I haven't started anything medical towards transitioning yet. I cut my hair and dress in a way that expresses my gender, but I'm not very "masculine" for a male. I have a male friend who has told me that I just "don't seem like a transguy" and that it was very surprising for him because he thought I seemed so comfortable as a girl.

Other trans guys he knew were "obviously meant to be born men" and were "more masculine than he was" (he has a ton of feminine qualities, but identifies very soundly as male).

There's a pretty big stereotype that you have to be very macho and manly to be a transguy (or very effeminate and soft to be a transwoman). It's especially frustrating for me when I'm talking to a cis-male who is *way* more effeminate than I am, but he still thinks I "seem like a girl" to him because I'm not a "typical guy". It's probably one of the major reasons why I go through depressive/dysphoric episodes where I feel like I'm "not trans enough" and have no right to transition.

 

I'm bisexual and out to a few people (friends/coworkers/my mother). LUCKILY, all responses have been good/supportive so far, but that is probably because I selected certain people that I came out to based on my anticipation of their reaction (or lack of reaction).

My only minor issue is with my mom, who once described being bisexual as being "confused". She said I had to pick one side or the other. She didn't care which side I picked (gay or straight) but that I couldn't possibly pick both. Then she concluded that she just didn't get it, but whatever makes me happy.

So yeah... I think a lot of people are confused about bisexuality, and what it means. So to those that may have questions. No, I'm not confused about the fact that I have been attracted (both romantically and sexually) to both genders. It has nothing to do with polyamory, open relationships or threesomes (I only have interest in monogamous relationships). It simple means I have the capability of being attracted to either guys or women. No confusion there.

So, that would be the only sort of stigma or misconception that I've had to deal with (so far).


OOOh actually one last thing!! People often say (my friend just mentioned this as well) that since I'm bi, I'm lucky that I have double the choices. This is another slight misconception. Yes, I'm interested in both genders buttttt a) I'm also very picky and not easily attracted to anybody at ALL & b) Since only a TINY percentage of women are actually LGBT, my potential dating pool is only increased by a SMALL percentage...

just another small point!

 

I apologize for the late reply I just now saw this X3

It's alright, I've had my time to come to terms with all that went down. It's left it's scars, but everyone has those so it's nothing new or special. Things aren't as bad now, he's begrudgingly accepting of me but you can still feel there's something there under the surface which generally makes me just avoid him altogether.

I'll never understand the pedo/beastiality thing, I really won't. It's so stuuupid, but what can you do. People really like to assume the worst case scenarios about anything they don't understand.

 

I come from a strict, Evangelical Christian home. My dad was speechless and distraught. "I will always love you, but I cannot accept the lifestyle." My mom initially seemed like she would be ok(I came out to her first), but she changed her tune when I came out to my dad. My dad has made comments opposing same sex marriage and also insisted that most gay cub scout leaders are pedophiles. Both parents refused to meet my boyfriend(now ex) and refuse to go to my LGBT center. There was even one time where my mother didn't want to even see the name of the center on my credit card bill for counseling services costing $5 (she was paying due to my unemployment). I have been out a year, and it hasn't gotten better with them.