Hey everyone. I'm sure everyone has this problem who's trying to come out so I guess it's yet another common thread. I've written out texts to people I've wanted to tell, but I can never hit the "Send" button because I don't think I'm ready for other people to know yet, but I am the type of person who NEEDS to talk about it with people. Here is great, but I'm looking for a more personal "Coming Out" experience so I can just text people about things.
I think there are three kinds of people in this context: -The sort who would be "cool" with your sexuality but don't really care one way or anohter. -Narrow minded judgemental sort who think that homosexuality is "wrong" for whatever reason (or lack thereof) -Truly supportive people to whom you can comfortably disclose your sexuality. Have you thought about *why* do you want to come out so much? Unless it is going to make it easier for you to find someone, I can't relate to your desire to *come out".. I'm sure you have your reasons, but it could help to rationalize them in your mind and think about whether this would be a good idea.
Thanks! I just want to have someone to talk to about the way I'm feeling. As I said, here is nice to have to get the things I can off of my chest, but virtual connection isn't the same as physical connection.
I never liked the whole coming out thing I told my parents in a letter and the only other person I sat down was my mate who I came out to first the rest I sorted sloted it into convos so coming out but not in a massive way. That's how I did but you need to do it in a way that fits to you and when your ready its always your descsion when and how to do it and when not to and who not to do it to. Just be you Hope this helped
If you don't feel ready, it's okay. I also struggled to let my friends know for a long time. I just felt when the right moment came for me to tell them.. You will too. Now I'm trying to find the courage to come out to my family but that's a much harder task.. Anyway what I'm trying to say is, I understand you need someone to talk to but just remember there's no need to rush things if you really don't feel ready. Hope I helped you and good luck with whatever you decide to do (and whenever that is).
I completely understand where you're coming from and wanting to tell people to have that person connection. I am also not out to anyone. Actually just joined this site to start talking. Hopefully it helps both you and I. You'll definitely know when the time is right. One thing I've thought about doing is talking to a councilor just to get this off of my thoughts and at least tell one person before actually telling my friends and family. Hope things work out for the best!
Haven't come out yet, but I feel like I'm on the verge of doing so. I want to tell my friend, but I can't bring myself to send the text message.
Like the others said, if you don't feel ready, you should maybe wait a little while. But if you feel like it HAS to be now, and there's no changing your mind on the issue, well... When I have hard things to text/write to people, I hover over the send-button, take a deep breath, close my eyes and press the button. Once I'm past the point of no return, I usually feel better. But again, there's no rush, and you shouldn't do it if you don't feel like you're quite ready for them to know. Maybe start off with one friend, possibly your closest, and see how it goes?
Yeah, I only planned on it being one friend for now. The thing is, I have no idea when I'll be ready. I think I'd be more ready to let a select few people know now, maybe even if it's only one, than wait longer than I should have. I just had a long talk with my mom about my soon-to-be divorced aunt and uncle, about happiness, and why their relationship didn't work. I feel like if I wait too long, then I'll be stuck marrying a girl (though I'm bisexual) but always wonder if I had found the perfect guy for me, like the person I'm interested in now. I don't want to get divorced, and I don't want to wait until I'm married to eventually let the world know.
Glad to hear you came out to your friend. That's what I did. The big one was coming out to myself and then I came out to my best friend because I did want someone in my life to know, someone I can talk to about it. Telling my sister can wait, though its hard not to tell my sister, there's no real reason to right now. I feel that when I'm actually seeing someone, that might be the time to tell her. Telling my parents is one step up from that-and could prove to be difficult. Not so much with my mother but definitely with my father. But again, I have one person in my life I can be authentic with and I'm going to tell another longtime friend soon, too. Obviously, you need to be telling people who you can absolutely trust to not tell people who you don't want to know yet. Glad to hear you have one person you can be authentic and yourself with for now. Sometimes that's enough. It's been enough for me right now, because I can tell her about the experiences and feelings I've been having. Once you've done that, which you have, you may lose the need to have to tell the whole world with a megaphone...I know I did. I'm going to let everything play out in its own time.
