Benevolent dream-crushing

Interesting question. Following thought:

Take you take someone's delusional dreams away. What will he be living for? There are so many things we wish for that are hardly going to be possible, but they keep us going.

What I think is dreams shouldn't be crushed, but that we should make people, especially children, understand what really is important in life. Because if they do, they'll learn to love the things they have. You can't keep people from getting crushed by their dreams. That's inevitable. But you can give them something to recover with when they are. Know what I mean?

 

So I was going to attempt to answer beautifully and poetically but you have said everything I could of mentioned and made it that more poignant.

Well written!

 

I think personally it's the manner rather than the what here.there is certainly milage in not letting people chase rainbows but equally you have to be delicate.

I worry about this a lot for my daughter, who is a huge Disney Princess fan. Thankfully Disney have been a little more responsible of late. But the fairy tale, love at first sight, happily ever after is still there and to be honest I see no problem per say, within its place. The problem comes when young girls or boys (although less so) are left with the feeling that such is real life. On the other hand we want to protect their innocence from The reality , that in all likelihood they will go through many relationships until they find the one and even then it's not going to be plain sailing.

 

I think you should let them pursue their dreams; you never know what might happen.

As Walt Disney once said: "If you can dream it, you can do it."



Besides, crushing their dreams kinda makes you Cinderella's stepmother.



Unless the person's dream is to marry Justin Bieber or something.

 

Yep, achievable is the key thing here, and that is where older people come in. Not to say no, but to try and guide them gently in a better direction.

Within reason I don't mind where my daughter chooses to go in her life, but if she sets herself an unachievable goal I do think it will be my duty to try and guide her to something else. Likewise it falls to me or my wife to support her through the difficult times of adolescence and failed relationships and try and ensure that she is being realistic in her expectations... Prince or princess charming just doesn't exist, because they are a fictional perfect character. There is no one who is just going to swing you off your feet and make you happy ever after, unless you set yourself reasonable expectations for such in the first place.

 

If my dream is to become a world famous hot dog eater, it's understandable why my parents would want me to change my dream, but it's still my life and my dream, and while I love them, they shouldn't have a say in it.


...As long as the dream is achievable, as said above. ^



Just my opinion, of course~

 

You don't have to crush nobody's dream. If you have a dream you can make it come true. Some are more difficult than others, but you just have to try hard to achieve it. If you don't dream, you don't achieve and if you don't achieve, you won't grow and will be stuck in that aspect. Anyone can marry a rich guy, anyone can make it big in show business, anyone can find their true love. It all depends on how much you believe in yourself and how hard you work for it, despite people telling them otherwise.

If they fail, they find a new dream or try again. How can you build a future if you don't foresee it, if you don't dream it? Anything can come true if you believe it.

 

And I think this is why sometimes I've the mind of a five year old, alot of adults/ scratch that.. some adults are really jaded.. examps: my mother. Dreaming is what keeps us motivated. And being a kid on the inside is probably my secret to being 18 but looking like a middle schooler lolz fml(!)(!)(!)

---------- Post added 28th Jul 2015 at 09:41 AM ----------

Seriously guys. I've no junk in the back or cup size :-(
My bod is an underdeveloped piece of something lolz

 

Let them chase their dream. If it's something impossible let them get crushed on their own. They'll be miserable but there's a chance they'll learn from it and at least they should have made some progress in the direction they want to go. Crush their dream yourself and they'll be miserable anyway, and your friendship will probably get hurt or destroyed in the process.

So just tell them to go for it, be supportive and see how far they get, even if you don't really have faith in them. For all you know they may surprise you...

 

Either way you can leave them be or try to stop them but In the end if they keep going for their dream, then they probably have the strenght to achieve it.

Sometimes to be able to achieve something great, you first have to be told you can't.

And to what you saud before, Azrael, about it being better to regret life in a mercende benz than a bike in the rain, I have to disagree. I think it's much better to regret life anywhere knowing you gave it your all, rather than regretting that you never tried.

To me life is about learning, growing, gaining new experiences; You won't be able to grow if you try the same pattern every time and then all you'll ever learn is regret.

Wow sorry I went off on a bit of a tangent there.

 

I think there is a key distinction here between being a friend and being a parent. I'd not try to tell a friend, unless my advise was asked for. As a father it will be my responsibility to offer guidance sometimes even when it's not wanted. The key will be not in doing so, but how I do it.

 

I think that it is cruel to (unless it is a cruel dream, like to be a serial killer).

My school says it is a sin to not do that to your kids...

 

It's interesting where people stand on this; it's more telling than about anything else.

 

Their dreams are none of my business.

 

When I read the title of this thread, I immediately thought of what an oxymoron it is.

I don't understand how anybody can act as an authority on what is possible and what isn't. What makes someone's dream delusional? No one was anointed with the power or right to tell someone else they can't achieve a goal or dream.

If anything, that strikes me as borderline abusive. It infuriates me that people really do think they're being benevolent by intentionally putting someone down. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." No one can see into the future and no one can say for sure if a dream is truly achievable.

If anything, you could to be that individual a successful person references in an interview when they say, "This guy told me that I'd never make it and that really crushed me, but I kept at it anyway despite him."

Really, if you're reading this and you're thinking about "crushing" someone's dreams, get over yourself and worry about what you need to do to accomplish your goals.