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How do you feel about the term "queer"?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Kodo, Jul 21, 2015.

  1. Kodo

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    How do you, personally, feel about using the term "queer" as a label for sexual orientation?

    Here are some informative links describing what 'queer' means:

    Queer 101

    Granny, Lock up Yo' Pans!
     
  2. HuskyPup

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    Myself, I don't like it because when I grew up, it was a term used in association with bullying and abuse. I know there is an effort to reclaim it, but I no more want to be called queer than to be called a nigger if I was black. I find it equally offensive, as it recalls an era of abuse and a total lack of rights. I think the term is more popular among younger gay/bi people. But being a teen in the darkest part of the evil Ronald Reagan 1980s, it really stings.

    There was literally no hope then, like there is now; even having sex was literally illegal.

    I prefer 'eccentric', or 'gay and eccentric' and it has fewer negative connotations.

    Plus, being gay, it seems far to vague.

    Call me queer, and you're liable to get a fat lip or a black eye! Well, not really, 'cause I'm so nice, but it does make me angry to be called that. To me queer is just a hair better than fag; I find both hurtful.

    If others like to label themselves like that, it's OK, though I have a hard time using the term, aloud; it makes me feel funny, and brings back so many bad memories.
     
    #2 HuskyPup, Jul 21, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2015
  3. Acm

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    The word still makes me uncomfortable. A lot of people seem to think it's fully reclaimed, even though it's still used negatively pretty regularly.

    If other people want to use it for their sexuality, that's fine, but it bothers me when they try to apply it to other people (or use it as an umbrella term). I'd prefer not to be called it.
     
  4. Steele

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    Personally, I don't see the word as a slur, even when straight people use it. It just doesn't carry that negative connotation for me, but I get that it does for some people, and I respect that.

    I know that some people use the word to describe themselves if they're not exactly sure what they are, but know that they're not straight/cis, so in that regard I think the term can be useful.
     
  5. Cider

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    It makes me a little uneasy.

    However, some people like to use the word queer to describe their sexuality, so who am I to stop them?
     
  6. SabreBear

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    I don't mind it. I consider myself 'queer'.

    Depends on how the person is using it, and in what context.

    Is it a sneer like, "those damn queers."
    Or just, "I consider myself a queer."

    Where I come from our dialect does consider 'queer' a swear. (ie. "Ya queer bh'y." would be used to call someone an idiot.) But I don't pay it much mind.

    At the end of day I'll just avoid the idiots.
     
  7. DreamerBoy17

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    I don't like the idea of reclaiming a word with negative connotations. I agree that it's a useful term for describing sexuality, but I think any other word could fill its place. I mean, you don't see blacks reclaiming the n word.
     
  8. Christiaan

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    I think it sounds badass. It has a sort of rakish quality to it.

    Basically, I see "gay" as more PC, and it ought to be used preferentially when you are dealing with more sensitive individuals or mixed company. "LGBT" is for politicians, and it's even more PC. "LGBT" is acceptable anywhere, but it's also boring. Besides, if we keep adding to the acronym, we'll spend all day saying it.

    Among any group of hipsters, where most people understand you are a gay rights supporter, "queer" is more than acceptable. If everyone has had a little alcohol, doubly so. "Queer" is more fun. It is more hip. It has a sort of "naughty" ring to it. I like it, personally, but I'm also a disreputable cad.

    You should not use "queer" around the uninitiated, especially around younger and somewhat sensitive gay youth, who may have heard it once too often as a term of abuse. It's sort of like how you shouldn't say "fuck" except in certain circumstances. If you are one of the cool kids, you just know where it's appropriate. If you don't know, then you shouldn't use it until you've grown up.

    And "homosexual" can come across as degrading, actually.
     
    #8 Christiaan, Jul 21, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2015
  9. Fallingdown7

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    Ehhh I'm not a fan of using it anymore. Not just for the original context of the word either. A lot of people use it to mean "not straight" and I'm not comfortable being thought of under that label either- I'd rather just be gay- 100% gay- instead of people assuming I'm still sexually available to the opposite sex which does happen under the connotations of the term.
     
  10. HuskyPup

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    I was thinking: working at a university, it has an elitist/class based aura about it. It seems to be a term used by those higher on the economic ladder, almost as if proof of their educational prowess or academic credentials.

    It's certainly hotly debated here at the University of Maryland, to be sure; still, even as a hipster, I don't like it, and prefer to say I'm an eccentric gay furry, or something else depending on the situation, as it does bring back many hurtful past memories.

    I also associate to a certain degree with wealth and arrogance.

    But to each their own; just don't call me one, or I'll smack ya! :slight_smile:
     
  11. Wallace N

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    I've never been bothered by the word "queer". Perhaps I'm too young to remember a time when it primarily meant "strange". Seeing that usage in an older book always seemed outdated to me, as outdated as using "gay" to mean "happy" (which was still being used this way in the 50s and 60s).

    I prefer to be called "gay" or "homosexual" because those terms are more specific. "Queer" is an umbrella term.

    I also have noticed the tendency for it to be used in academic circles, e.g. "queer lit" and "queer theory".
     
  12. Azrael

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    I would not use the word colloquially or for an insult or joke as it's a strange word that doesn't stimulate a strong emotional response from me. It's nowhere as pungent as the term faggot or dyke because of it's phonology (I think), but it's also not necessarily appropriate for some people out there.

    Best thing to do is to not be offended by it. No one's ever called me it and I won't call anyone by it. It's such a bland and boring word that should be thrown into the LGBT rubbish bin much like the sodomy laws of the previous century.
     
  13. C P

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    'Queer' is a word I don't have much of an opinion. I don't feel badly about it, nor do I use it. I rarely -ever- hear the word in general, to be completely honest.

    If there's a word that I don't like, it's 'gay'. The way it's used e'ry single day in mostly a negative tone makes it far more of a nuisance to me, personally.
     
  14. SabreBear

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    What I don't like about 'gay' is that people use it in a way that spans the entire LGBT+ community. ("Oh the gay community is like..", etc) Because being gay is a tiny part of the whole community.

    That's one of the reasons I like the 'queer' term, in that it spans the community as a whole. I mean I won't use the term on someone who doesn't like it. But I consider it a quick alternative. I also think it's a good term to use if you're still finding out your orientation/preference. ("I don't know what I identify as but I know I'm queer.", etc)
     
  15. Aspen

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    As a label for sexual orientation, to each their own. I do think that people need to be aware of it's past--and current--use as a slur. My mom still uses "queer" as an insult.

    I kind of like the phrase "queer community" because it's easier to say than LGBT, all-inclusive, and doesn't have the political ring of "sexual minorities." But I still wouldn't use it in conversation unless I knew the people around me would be okay with it.
     
  16. Taly

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    I used to not understand why queer was insulting; but then again, I don't like the word because I just don't like it. LOL Queer is to me what moist is to some people. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Plus it doesn't make things better that 90% of the people I've seen use the word lightly were :***: stupid.

    But yeah, I wouldn't be using the word. XP Nor would I take real offense if someone used it - unless they overused it in intention to harm.
     
    #16 Taly, Jul 21, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2015
  17. LesbianThrasher

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    I don't really mind it. I guess it's because I was never harassed by others calling me that so I wouldn't understand why many who have been bullied hate that word so much. Then, on the other hand, I feel like if someone calls me that but not in a negative way, then I'd be a bit uncomfortable only because I don't really like being gay. Using it as a joke though, I'm down for it, I'll play along.
     
  18. Lipstick Leuger

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    I love Queer. I am not a lesbian, I am a Queer Femme and that is that.
     
  19. Invidia

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    Umm... yes? Maybe I got the word "reclaim" wrong, but when black people use the n word among themselves in whichever cultural context, like hiphop or whatever, isn't that reclaiming? Maybe I got the word totally wrong, idk.


    I don't mind the word. Use it to describe my sexuality, sure, use it to describe yours, sure.
    However, use it to describe my gender expression, you goin' down.
     
  20. Cider

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    ^ black people say nigga to each other, not nigger. I don't know if those two words mean the same thing to people, but from what I've seen the first one can be friendly, the second one is an insult.

    And it's honestly not just black people, I've mainly seen it used by ghetto people of all races.