Hello to anyone who has found this. My name is Tommy and I'm 16. For the past couples years I've always had feelings that maybe I had an attraction to guys. It was something I hated cause honestly I hated being different, and in my family not being "manly" means you're an embarrassment to the family name. I've recently come to terms that I am gay. I accept it, the few friends I've told accept and are happy for me, and I feel good too about it. My only problem is dealing with my family. I want to wait, but idk how long I can supress these feelings.
Hey there! I've been into the situation you are currently undergoing and let me tell you one thing: it's all gonna be better soon, trust me. I have the same family member as you do, in my case my father and I think he already knows who I really am but still constrains me and impels me to be the way a 'man in the society' should be. Just take it easy and confide to people gradually.
That's how my brother acts, wanting me to be like him and make fun of stuff I like that's different and goes against his man beliefs
I think you need to tell them when you're ready. I have a friend who was very in the closet. But I just knew he was gay. When he admitted it to me I became his "go for it coach". He practiced talking about being gay. The more he spoke outloud and the more he practiced the better he felt. He actaully told me that if it weren't for me he didn't know what he would have done. Back then I was a smoker and we would sit outside for hours smoking and talking. mostly him and I'd listen and just walk him through his emotions. He had alot of them. He came out to his very christian family and even though his mother doesn't like it she accepts him and loves him. She even went as far to thank me for being his supporter. And I was for over a year I was his number one fan. SO basically what I'm saying is find someone you trust and talk it out. If you need a listening ear you've come to the right place. Lots of people here have been or are where you are right now.
Thanks nerdgirl89, I definetly have one friend who I love and she wa the first person I told. I know she'd definitely help, she's been very supportive of me.
Hi there Tommy, welcome to EC. I agree with the others, wait until you are comfortable. You can only come out once, so you wanna make sure your ready. If you need anything feel free to message me!
Tommy you're very welcome! Glad you have someone because it's the ones closest to us that we need. I mean had I had a more supportive friend younger I might not be so confused at 26. Who knows.
Hello, I welcome you, sounds like a hard place to be in. I really hope you get the advice you need. There is so many resources here. Last of all, I wish you good luck.
Masculinity is such a misunderstood term. I've explored this for years in various youth work situations. At the end of the day, everyone, male female or otherwise, are just HUMANS and we all have the same emotions, fears and insecurities, some people just aren't as honest about it. And similarly, I was in a situation where the thing holding me back most about coming out were the suppposedly 'macho' men from my family who I loved and cared about their opinion of me. At the end of the day, if they are truly real men, they will love and support their family regardless of whether the agree with or understand it, and if you can reach that point (no rush at all btw...) to where you are happy enough in yourself as a PERSON, not necessariy just 'MAN', then you will prove the man you truly are by being honest about who that man is and what he stands for to your family. And whether pr not they fully understand, you will be true to yourself. Nothing worse than pretending to be something your not to please other people. Anyway, WELCOME Tommy and any questions or anything at all, message me
Hello & welcome, Tommy. Self acceptance is the most important. You already have that. Good also that your friends were open as well. Is there anyone in your family who is more tolerant? If so, start with them. You need, at least one supporter, before tackling the more difficult members. If you decide to reveal to them. Hope you enjoy your time here & make many new friends.
((((Tommy)))) (*hug*) First thing first. Welcome along here. Good to have you in EC. As you will have already seen, there are great people here, who are caring, very supporting and non-judgemental. You must never hate who you are. You must have faith in who you are. You are not "different". All the wonderful people on here are testiment to that. Please don't feel ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of. As for your family, take your time, there is no hurry. You have good friends around you who are happy for you. We are happy for you here too. I agree with the others too, wait until you are comfortable about coming out. Only do so when you feel the time is right. I am going to send you a friend request. If you need anything or what to talk, do message me!
