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Email anxiety

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ChaoticMind, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. ChaoticMind

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    This is going to seem really weird to some people, but I have this strange kind of anxiety when it comes to opening emails. Or maybe just emails from certain people.

    I contacted someone via email not too long ago, and sent them a really long-winded "thank you for pretty much saving my life even though you probably didn't think you were doing so at the time." (Explanation: I was depressed, among other things.) I checked my emails yesterday and saw that this person had replied, and now I'm really scared of opening it because I don't know how they've responded.

    That's sort of half the point of emails, though, which is probably why I'm scared. I know I should just suck it up and click the damn thing (I've got the tab sitting there right now and it's scaring the heck out of me), but every time I so much as go to log in, I get so anxious I have to close the tab and control my rising panic.

    Should I get help? Like, therapy or something? Or should I just make myself go through systematic desensitization and hope foolishly that it will all get better?
     
  2. resu

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    How often has this happened to you? It sounds like in your email to that person, you revealed a lot of your inner emotions and feelings. That probably makes you feel vulnerable. It's hard to say those things, especially via email where you can't get an immediate response or observe non-verbal cues.

    Right now, it doesn't sound like your anxiety is widespread, so trying out systematic desensitization sounds like a good idea.
     
  3. Invidia

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    Systematic desensitization sounds like a good idea.

    Just thought I'd clarify a little bit. If I understand it correctly, it can be different when conducted by a therapist versus in the general sense of doing it yourself, which I think is what resu means.

    You have identified what is causing you anxiety. Now you need to focus on overcoming it.
    Relaxation techniques can help e.g. meditation or apps/sites that have relaxation imagery and/or music.
    Then you need to maintain that calm and go against your anxiety. Try to calm down, and then click it.

    Hope that helps
     
  4. OfTheKokiri

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    I know how you feel!

    Sometimes I just begin to start thinking of all the possible responses that could be in an email. Since it is not in person there is lots of time to take before you actually open it. The sooner you do it the sooner you can recover from the panic episode. Except afterwards assess how you were worrying and compare that to the response in the email and adapt your reaction to the next email that triggers your anxiety.

    I always find the first step with these things is gathering as much Intel about your anxiety, how you respond to it and the outcome in the end. After self reflection then create a strategy to tweak how you respond to the panic.

    resu and BeckiWoopx have offered some nice suggestions on how about doing this.
     
  5. Monraffe

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    Wow, this is so dramatic. You will actually BE a different person after opening the email, no matter what it says. You have given the very definition of you over to this person's control. Opening this email will tell you what they have decided. No wonder you are anxious about opening it, who wouldn't be.
     
  6. ChaoticMind

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    Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. The email remains unchecked, but I'm going to read it soon.
     
  7. resu

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    Don't wait too long because the procrastination can start to snowball, and the person who sent the reply may be upset if they expected some response. Remember, you at least have time to read the email before doing anything.