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*EMERGENCY! * Help! My Mom just found out a a Lesbian!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by LesbianAngel, Jul 16, 2015.

  1. LesbianAngel

    Regular Member

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    Omg! I am freaking out. Today, my mom was helping me fix my computer and somehow found herself in my downloads where I keep my picture and everything else. I have downloaded a TON (185) pictures of LGBT and stuff like that. When she saw it, she totally freaked out. My heart was racing a 1000 times faster. She told me I had to delete everything single picture and that she wanted it off my computer before she took my computer away from me. I'm just glad I still have it. Along with that she said that she can not have this under her roof. And I ACTUALLY deleted it all... I miss all those pictures...

    So apparently, she found out a while back... Probably when I was working on the notebook for my girlfriend, I lost it and now I can't find it. My mom only spoke of it once so I was always guessing that she took it. Now... I'm pretty sure she did.

    She spoke of something like I thought you were over this or something like that so that's kind of how she told me that she knew before. She probably thought I was over it because I always joined in on the conversations on how they 'hate gay right' or whatever. But if only she knew all the crying I did after having those conversations.

    *IMPORTANT* (&&&) Now, this is the important part... Since I know I'd have to talk to my mom tomorrow about this, I know I have to plan a speech. I sort of wish I had done this before but I have no choice but to write it now. The problem is... I have no idea what to write in it. Does anyone have any ideas?? I really need help. I am supposed to be asleep :sleep: so I have to write it quickly because I AM exhausted. So... please... I really need help writing this. If you can help, I'd be very grateful. Thank you.
     
  2. The Purple One3

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    Explain to her how you feel, and make sure both you and your mom understand each other's views on the subject. Also it is obvious that she is at least a little ignorant because you don't "get over" these things.(*hug*) Good luck!!! I hope it goes well!!!(*hug*)
     
  3. Invidia

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    Hi, LesbianAngel!

    First, I'm really sorry to hear about your mom's attitude toward you. You shouldn't have to face that.
    Know that you have all of EC standing behind you (&&&)

    About talking to your mom - does your mom know about your girlfriend? That is something to consider. Now, I don't want to scare you, but it does happen that parents say "you can't see [him/her/them] anymore". That's something to consider.
    Then I also wonder, how close are you and your mom? Perhaps appealing to her feelings could help? Such as "I am your daughter. I happen to like other girls. I want you to love me but I need you to accept that I want to live my life my way, which is this way."

    Also, leave her in no doubt that you are a lesbian, that you are not in a phase and that's who you are and want to be - if she starts on that track of "but you're young" or "it's a phase", don't go along with her on that track; tell her "No, that's not right. This is who I am."

    Hope that helps, please continue writing if you have more questions.
    Oh, and good luck!!

    lgbt+ pictures~
    [​IMG]
     
  4. AngelLover

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    I believe in you, my star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Always and forever!!!!!!! F.O.R.E.V.E.R.
     
  5. ChaoticMind

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    I have one main piece of advice. No matter what she says, no matter how hurtful the words are (or hopefully otherwise), you need to keep your head up and stay strong. You may want to tell her that you didn't choose to be this way, and that you can't help it any more than she can help her own orientation. Also make it clear that it's not a phase or an attention-seeking gig.

    Stay positive, and the best of luck to you :slight_smile:
     
  6. Oh Lilac

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    Are you doing okay? Best wishes!!
     
  7. ToneDef

    ToneDef Guest

    In a perfect world, I'd say to stand your ground and tell her how wrong she is, but it's not so...
    Assess your situation. Don't make things harder on yourself. If you think there's going to be some ridiculous backlash, maybe back off of it and say "I don't know for sure" for your sake. Sometimes, holding back can put you ahead in the long run. Seeing as how your fifteen, it could be pretty uncomfortable until you're able to get out. If you think you're in danger in any way (like being kicked out, physical abuse, etc), hold off. Or leave if you have a place to go.
    I wouldn't write a speech myself. I find speaking from the heart on topics like this are still hard, but come off more authentic. That seems to work in my favor more. But like I said, assess your situation. Only you know what can help. I'm not sure I've done much good, but I wish you luck! Keep your head up and stay safe (*hug*)