I am biologically female. I hate being referred to as ma'am or sir. Girl/boy I hate that I have breasts, I wish my chest looked like a dudes but like not all muscular.. but I dont wanna grow facial hair or take T or have my down yonders messed with (surgery) I hate girl clothes/under garments. I do not own a single girly item besides having to have a bra. *eyeroll* now I dont wanna be one would call a label junkie, but I have no clue what to tell people I am or how to refer to myself. I am so confused. I have identified as gay bc I am attracted to females. Please help me get answers.
Hi there. Sounds like you're struggling quite a bit. Fortunately, there are a lot of things to look into here, a lot of terminology that could maybe get you to start feeling more comfortable with yourself. Honestly, upon reading your statement, I felt a surge of nostalgia for how I felt before I figured things out. But I would like to first start off by reminding you that sexuality is separate from gender, and to remember that throughout. That's super important, even if you already know, to keep reminding yourself of it. Now, let's talk about gender. Most people consider gender to be split into two parts: expression and identity. Gender expression is how you present to people. Gender identity is how you refer to yourself. And there are so many different possibilities that you could be feeling right now. Try to explore gender identity. Take a moment to imagine a line from left to right. All the way to the left is "Female" and all the way to the right is "Male". Where are you? Are you in the middle? Are you moving from one part of the spectrum to the other? Do you have multiple points on the spectrum? Are you off the spectrum entirely? It's okay not to know. There are lots of identities that don't fall into either the male or female category. And honestly, to me, it sounds like you could be one of those. They're called genderqueer identities. Genderqueer itself being a term of identification as well as an umbrella term for all kinds of identities that are non-binary. I'm under the genderqueer umbrella, since Agender falls under that category (agender being non-identifying with male or female or anything in between) I'm being as descriptive as I can here because I don't know how much about this sort of thing you seem to know. You appear new to the forum (which is great! Welcome!) and I just want to give you an idea of what to start asking yourself to figure things out. Don't be afraid to take your time to figure out who you are. There's no rush. If you have any questions or need someone to talk to, feel free to drop a message on my wall, okay?
