My problem is when someone obese or underweight tells others it's all ok, they encourage people to not change, possibly putting many at risk. I'm speaking from personal experience (including those of friends and family). I wont hate you for being fat or underweight, on the contrary. But embracing your overweight/underweightness and not changing it just doing you more harm. Sooner or later the damage will show. But hey, appearently I'm ignorant and talking out of my ass, but whatever.
Do I sound like a stupid person to you? "Do more medical research." I encourage you to develop reading comprehension. Where in my post did I say that individuals who were at an unhealthy weight (whether under or over) did not have increased health risks? Did I not just spend the bulk of that post discussing the need for living a healthy lifestyle, while at the same time spelling out exactly why focusing on body image while doing it was bad? ---------- Post added 16th Jul 2015 at 08:16 PM ---------- You don't have to body shame people to encourage everyone to live a healthy lifestyle. That's the difference between being an asshole and being a friend. Friends want you to be healthy. Assholes want to tell you that you should change because of how you look. If someone looks unhealthy, their appearance is not the problem, it's their lifestyle. When you understand this fact, you can actually begin addressing the underlying problems that cause people to be overweight, rather than saying, 'Hey fatty shed some pounds.' That's the difference.
I look at it this way: I will NEVER body shame someone else. I really don't care about other people's weight because they know the health risks 99% of the time, and it's not my place to judge either. What if they have the a slow metabolism etc.? HOWEVER, I will body shame myself because it is ruining my life, and I need to be real to myself.
Oh, and by the way, your ridiculous "do more medical research" remark is totally backward. Research has proven that people who strive to change the way they live simply to lose weight rarely keep it off in the long term. This is why yo-yo dieting is such an epidemic problem. So your not part of the solution to obesity. You are part of the problem. The only thing that works is addressing specific lifestyle issues, and encouraging living a healthy lifestyle overall. It's not about losing weight. It's not about looks. It's about being healthy. Period. The simple fact is that most people, when they think about losing weight, have completely unrealistic expectations--not only on how much they can realistically lose (and how fast)--but on the changes it will have to their appearance and their lives. Obesity is not the problem, it's a symptom of the problem. It's like a disease that causes you to have aches and pains, and you focus only on treating the aches and pains rather than the disease that is causing them. This is the stupidity of your--and those who agree with you--approach. It is far more emotionally healthy that everyone learn to love the bodies they have as they currently have them, rather than to strive toward unrealistic goals, get disappointed or defeated when they ultimately don't achieve them, and relapse into old bad habits. Even if your "touch[sic] love" approach worked, which it doesn't, you would only be setting people up for long term failure. Most people fail at losing weight and keeping it off for a reason. You are part of that reason.
The truth is, most people say things about weight to be mean, not so they can actually give constructive criticism or give tough love. I'm a skinny guy, and because of that people (especially girls my age xD) are always like "You're so lucky!" "Do you even eat?" and "Like, your wrists are totally as small as mine!" I'm very slightly underweight, so after realizing eating a ton won't help me because of my metabolism, I've decided to try and work out to gain weight. So while I do think that telling someone that they need to start taking better care of themselves is good, and that there is a big difference between giving encouragement and just being mean, I also think that people shouldn't always tell each other how flawed their body is all the time, because that can really hurt some people.
People who body shame are extremely insecure, shallow, people. I don't care if they try to pass it off as "you are unhealthy" or "they are weak and need to eat less" or whatever else they think is ok to say. They just need to stop.
If you want to jump into scientific research also, the most effective approach to obesity has been found to be positive reinforcement and social acceptance (basically body acceptance). Collective programs to combat obesity have seen marked improvements in comparison to punishment techniques. I'd presume, via my subjective human logic, that punishment would also reinforce probability of relapse, considering that depression has been linked to obesity as a large predetermining factor and that depressed individuals respond best to empathy. Isn't that obvious though? That firstly, being able to accept yourself for who you are and feeling other people accept you for who you are and feeling like other people empathise with you, that that is the situation in which most people are their best capable to adopt more healthy lifestyles? Huh. Fancy that.
Have you actually dealt with this situation, btw? If you have, then ok, sure. If not, please, don't call me out on the issue. I've been to different doctors, nutritionists, and I have had my share of obesity/anorexia dilemas. I've seen what obesity and annorexia can do to both myself and others around me. I'm not talking out of my ass. And if I'm coming off as rude or aggressive, I am sorry, but I do not want people to think everything is ok when they are really putting themselves at risk. I don't want people to hurt themselves. I'm not saying "omg, eat a salad, fatty". I am saying "stay safe, do the best you can, fight to do the impossible, and don't give up just because things may not always be in your favor"- sure, I struggle with going through with things like that, but it doesn't make them any less relevant. Alot of those bodybuilders you see on the media have come from the most impossible circumstances (but heaven forbid, these bodybuilders/nutritionists/whatever try to help someone and they get a lot of shit for it). Not saying EVERYONE can escape their disabilities and dilemas, but sitting down and doing little to nothing about it isn't going to remedy anything. Like I mentioned earlier, I struggle with that. But it's nonetheless still true.
Simply put, this. Encouraging health (without the bully attitude)=\=body shaming. ---------- Post added 16th Jul 2015 at 08:34 PM ---------- Look at this woman, for example. Mom Won Paralyzed from the waist down at 17, and while she has a long way to go, she's still fighting.
We should all accept and love our bodies to the point that we want to take excellent care of it. Loving our bodies and making our bodies sick at the same time just doesn't make sense.
Your body wants to, and most likely will, gain 10 lbs every decade after age 35 unless you live in poverty in a third-world country. It even happens to pro athletes after they retire. During and after menopause, most women will naturally gain weight. Doesn't mean they are lazy or overindulge by any means. When you are elderly, you should be carrying some extra weight. People of lower weight do not live as long when they are struck by illness or when they are elderly... over 80. If you are carrying 20-25 extra lbs at age 25, it may be cause for concern because your weight will go up and up unless you have a very fast metabolism; but at age 55... no need to fret. Stress causes far more health problems than 25 extra pounds. In fact, I don't see those extra lbs causing health problems at all. I am old enough to be able to look back and see and compare how thin, overweight and obese old classmates, friends and relatives are doing now. The very obese are struggling (diabetes, joint pain, mobility and respiratory issues), the somewhat overweight are fine, the normal weight ones are fine, the too skinny ones have health problems (weak, frail, prone to illnesses like colds, anemic). I've found that cancer is no respecter of persons. It gets the thin as well as the heavy, the very fit exercise fanatics as well as the couch potatoes. That's only my experience and my opinion, but I thought I'd share it.
I think there needs to be a balance. I mean, sure. Fat pride. I mean, some people are bigger than others, and they shouldn't be harassed for that. It's not nice to be mean to fat people. But on the other hand, being obese is a serious medical problem. I see no problem with being fat from a social point of view, but from a health point of view, it can be pretty bad to be fat. I mean, look at the health risks. People who are obese often should get thinner, for health benefits and such. I mean, our NHS loses unbelievable amounts of money each year on care which wouldn't be needed if everyone was a healthy weight. I mean, you can be fat and healthy, but that is a minority. There are also the people who can't change, due to metabolism. They need help like that. I mean, it's a complicated issue. Even among "fat pride" types of people, there are divisions. Some think that being fat is fine and natural, and should be treated as a protected characteristic. Others think it should be a disability. It's interesting. I think I'm undecided on my position here, really. Or at least, I'm in the middle, I guess. Oh, yeah. And everyone should love themselves and their appearance. But I think that goes without saying.
If you are a Baby Boomer, you may want to look up a longitudinal research study by Dr. Paula Diehr for example, and others like it which may surprise you. Weight, mortality, years of healthy life and active life expectancy in older adults Obesity and inactivity in young people is a huge problem, I agree. In those 65 yrs. and older, studies are showing overweight people (and even obese males) have better outcomes than normal weight people. (What a shocker!) Skinny Dr. Oz... take that!!! Dr. Phil will probably live to be an older age.... ---------- Post added 17th Jul 2015 at 02:03 AM ---------- Have you ever heard of the Obese Paradox? If not, you should check out this linkhttp://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/36/Supplement_2/S276.full
That should be The Obesity Paradox Obesity Paradox Does Exist Just look at that list of advantages, published by the American Diabetes Association no less!
You see this is the problem. You are struggling with mental health and body image issues, related to your anorexia. Of course you are obsessed with body weight--that's part of the illness. You are projecting your issues onto other people. I've known people who've struggled from eating disorders. That is why this thread makes me so angry. Because this thread does nothing, but make those people worse and urge more people toward unhealthy lifestyles where they are putting themselves at risk. I am not advocating that we encourage people who are overweight to sit around and do nothing. I am advocating that we should encourage EVERYONE (regardless of body size) to live in a way that is healthy. I am saying that singling people out based on body size and shape and throwing all the focus and attention on them is unhelpful. Their problems have nothing to do with their body size. It has to do with their lifestyle. When you are addressing someone's lifestyle, you can see what they are doing wrong, where they are struggling, and then you can figure out how you can personally help. If you are only judging people by their appearance, telling them that they need to get their shit together and lose weight, you are only hurting them. There is absolutely nothing positive that can come from that. As I am sure you know gay men face an excessively high rate of eating disorders and issues associated around body image. That is why threads like this and much of what has been said here is destructive and harmful. It is why this thread pisses me off.
Still not sure how celebrating the results of an unhealthy lifestyle is a positive thing... Random thought: I always see these anti-smoking advertisements that pretty much shame smokers.... But most people seem okay with that.
If it's down to an unhealthy lifestyle, then I think they could take measures to be healthier. (Could, not should - realistically, it is up to them). And not necessarily to lose weight, but to live a healthy life and lower their risks of disease/illness. HOWEVER, some people who are deemed overweight are that way BECAUSE of a disease/illness/disability, and they can't help that. Such as liver or kidney failure, polycystic ovaries in women, certain cancers, mental illnesses...Loads. (See here: Unintentional Weight Gain: Causes, Symptoms & Diagnosis) Not all weight gain is intentional or down to just eating unhealthily. I think it's important that people feel confident in their own bodies though. If someone can't help being 'bigger' than what most deem 'normal', then nobody has any right to put them down or make them feel inferior. Because they're not inferior! The same applies for people who others deem 'too skinny'. You just can't please everybody, and why should you? It's your body, and your life.
