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Terrified of meeting with psychologist tomorrow

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Eveline, Jul 11, 2015.

  1. Eveline

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    I can't stop shaking, I'm absolutely terrified of an appointment I have tomorrow with a psychologist who is responsible nation wide for trans diagnosis. My appointment was supposed to be in two weeks but she called today and said she had to move all of her apoointments to tomorrow. I don't have anyone to go with me and when I told my dad he responded badly... my mind is blank, I have no idea what I will say and what questions she might ask... I need help calming down and figuring out what she might ask...
     
  2. Matto_Corvo

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    Deep breath and start with telling her you have no idea how these things work. Its always a good place to start.

    And everyone here is there with you in spirit. (*hug*) indhall break my no hugging rule for you
     
  3. AlexTheGrey

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    Well, the thing is, if she is good, then she probably only has a vague idea of what she will be asking you herself. Seeing as everyone's circumstances are somewhat unique, having a pre-chosen list of questions does no good. The key thing is to be yourself here, and be honest about your feelings, fears, and desires. This should be about exploring your issues in safety, rather than trying to pass judgement over your situation.

    That said, if she is known to act as a gatekeeper, then I could be wrong here. And someone else will give better advice. I personally refuse to play an act to satisfy some gatekeeper, so my advice would probably hurt more than help in that case.
     
  4. Eveline

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    Thank you! Your hug means a lot to me and both of your eupport.

    She seems fairly nice from her voice on the phone and from stories I read by others but she is a gatekeeler which makes this more unsettling. This will also be the first time I talk to someone outside of my family about being trans and my family responded really badly when I told them so I'm not really the best at explaining it verbally. I can't even speak in English because it is not the first language in my country meaning that I'm more limited in my ability to articulate my thought and feelings. What makes it even more stressful is that the language of my country is much more gender specific, most words are influenced by gender meaning that either I talk as someone male or someone female. I'm obviously used to speaking as a male but how should I approach such a meeting? Trying to address myself as female will make me feel even less confident with the language and might work against me.

    Questions will mostly help me focus on my story and remember the past memories that indicate that I am trans. Also remembering what I know about how I experience dysphoria. It is starting to come back to me a bit but it might help...

    I will try to be as truthful and honest as I can be, the hard thing is to organize my thoughts enough to not get carried away talking about irrelevant matters.
     
  5. Rochelle86

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    When I had my first meeting with my schools therapist I was really nevus as well. I she asked me what was wrong, and I told her I had gender identity problems, and I was questioning my manhood. Then we talked about how the feelings arose and how long I have had them for. After that the meeting went well.

    Being yourself is key. I might ask her if I can bring a change of cloths next time so I can talk to her wile dressed in girls cloth. I think it's something I need to do in order to come out to my family. Good luck.

    (*hug*)

    Is a gatekeeper referring to her having all the say on weather or not you can start transitioning?
     
  6. sheenak

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    No advice just Good Luck
     
  7. oncetherewasa

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    That must be difficult to have to decide whether to speak as a male or female in this situation.
    The main thing is to not psych yourself out and try to relax. That's easier said than done, I know, but still try.

    Think of it like this: She doesn't know you. She's never met you. You decide whether or not she even sees you again. You're in control.
    If she says something you don't like or makes you feel uncomfortable you can find someone else. Your comfort is key here.
    Hope it goes well!
     
  8. Michael

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    It's hard to give advice, except trying to keep your head cold and your feet warm... 'cause you do want to get somewhere, right?

    Just focus on your gender under a positive light. Remind yourself of your victories, each of them.

    She might be the 'gatekeeper', but she is not going to act as the ''personality changer' anyways.

    And you could also end up positively surprised, why not?

    A gatekeeper might slow you down, but at the end he or she won't stop you.

    You are the worst gatekeeper to yourself... Happened to me too.

    I hope it goes well... Let your voice be heard, your true voice : This is your chance!
     
  9. Posthuman666

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    I really can't top any of the fantastic advice already offered, but just stay confident.

    But here is a hug. (*hug*) A hug is one of the best things every created. It means that you are not alone, and things will just get better.

    Im sure your appointment will go great. I was freaking out about coming out and it went great! Just stay positive. Just remember, even if things go horrible, which they won't, myself and all of your friends here on EC are here to help you and we love you.
     
  10. Eveline

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    Thank you for all the support, it meant a lot to me and I will take your words with me to the appointment!

    I didn't sleep a minute at night, a slight migraine and all my muscles are aching from the stress. I had the 'pleasure' of having another uncomfortable and painful discussion with my mother before I went to bed. Every time I talk to her, the conversation starts with her saying that she has no idea why I would be doing this to myself and it ends with her hugging me and saying that she just need time after I just bared my heart and soul and gave her some of the strongest explanations possible. Now, I can barley concentrate and I have probably one of the most important meetings of my life.

    Well, I've beaten greater odds in the past, writing a 10000 word dissertation in a week while sleeping for 2 hours or so at night, most nights. So, one more challenge for me to face head on beat!

    Your words did help me understand that I need to be myself and let the conversation flow naturally, I won't be stressed out, I'll just smile and have fun with it. I am who I am and I will cope with whatever the world throws at me as I have always done.

    (*hug*)

    Yael
     
  11. Eveline

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    Ok, I might have made a bit too big a deal of this... :lol:

    Well, she didn't say that I am not trans but I don't really think that was ever an option. It seems that most people meet her later on in the transition process after they have already taken actions. It was an interesting meeting all in all, as usual I got carried away with the story and didn't focus enough on why I am trans but she didn't seem overly concerned about it. I guess I told a good story... :slight_smile:

    Anyway, we made another appointment in October and we will see where I am at then. Because it's going to take some time for me to be at a stage where I can even begin to hope to pass, I can't really start Estrogen yet, but she did give me a name of an Andro doctor and hopefully I will start some time in the future a regiment of stronger anti Androgens, to take a more aggressive stance against loss of hair.

    No matter what, it was definitely an important stage in the journey and I'm in the system which is probably a good thing. I can now take my time and move forward at my own pace. Now, to collapse and go to sleep for a few hours! I deserve a long long rest...

    Thank you everyone for being as amazing as you are! (*hug*)
     
  12. Matto_Corvo

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    Glad it went well
     
  13. Rochelle86

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    Hopefully I can take similar steps in the future. I'm happy that it worked out for you. Seeing other people go through this gives me the curage, resolve I need to do this. :slight_smile: