1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Am I finally realizing I'm a lesbian?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MusicGoddess317, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. MusicGoddess317

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So I'm an teenage girl (almost 18) and ever since I hit puberty around..11..12 I've had a physical attraction towards girls. Back then, i thought it was wrong, and never even thought about having a crush on a girl. (Mom thought it was wrong :/) so i dated some boys, ya know like every teenage girl, but something happened last year.. i fell head over heels in love with this girl ( we were very close friends) . Luckily, she felt the same, and we dated for almost 3 months, but we ended up breaking it off for personal reasons :/ My mom told me dating her was wrong, that it was sinning, and she needed reassurance that it was a one time thing and i was still her heterosexual daughter.. i told her i was, then she eventually let it go. Fast forward a few months, i met a nice boy, so i decided to give him a chance, and ease my moms fears.. we've been together half a year, and I am no longer feeling the spark.. Whenever i kiss him, i wish i was kissing a girl.. when we do sexual things, i see myself doing them with a girl. I see myself with a girl in ALL aspects of my life right now.. but if i tell my boyfriend, he will be devastated.. is there a possibility I'm a lesbian in denial? And if so, how do i tell him and my mom? My friends support me 100% but my mom is a bit old fashioned. She said she'll always love me, but never agree.. :tears:
     
  2. Tetra

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2014
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    You know what, you need to be true to yourself. From the information you've given, it definitely seems like you're gay, but you are the only one that can truly confirm that. In regards to your boyfriend, put yourself in his shoes. Would you rather someone date you when they aren't attracted to you, and to not upset you? Or would you rather be told the truth, however hard the truth is to hear?

    As for your mom, it's definitely unfortunate that she isn't okay with it right now. But like I said, being true to yourself is the most important thing. If you know that you truly need to be with a woman to be happy, then that's what you need. Making your mom happy will not give you personal happiness. You are in charge of that. Your mom will need some time to process it, but in the end your happiness is what truly matters here rather than your mom's satisfaction and I think that she'll come to understand that over time.
     
  3. cheerlesbo

    cheerlesbo Guest

    The problem here doesn't seem like it's the label (lesbian in denial?) but more like with your relationships. I have been in that situation, dating guys I wasn't into trying to convince myself that I was straight. If you aren't in love with and attracted to your boyfriend, you should break up with him. It's better than letting both of you live a lie any longer.

    One thing I hate about labels is that they are confining but necessary. I'm very feminine, so I'm not going to be able to date a lot of girls unless I'm out, unless I find the right person and it works out perfectly. But I'd rather be honest with who I am, and I'm in the process of coming out as a lesbian, which I think is the label that best fits me.

    Maybe your mom will come around, but if she doesn't, it's her loss. I know it's hard to face rejection from someone you care about. This isn't going to be the last time you find someone who doesn't accept you, but there's millions of people who will accept you for exactly who you are c:

    Your mom may try to guilt trip you. She might say you're selfish, or you're hurting her. But any pain she thinks you're causing her is pain that she is inflicting on herself. Everyone was raised differently so some people have more outdated ideas on sexuality, but you should never feel guilty because your mom doesn't want to open her eyes to the reality that your sexuality doesn't affect her in any way.