I'm a girl, about to be a junior in high school. I've always been interested in boys and only boys. I've had boyfriends - none very serious, but still. Never in a million years would I think I was homosexual. But here's the story: I'm do a lot of theatre in my school and community so I have quite a few gay and lesbian friends, but I never felt attracted to any girls before, even if they were attracted to me. But recently, I've gotten really close to one of my openly lesbian friends and i think she has a crush on me. Normally, i'd just be flattered, but with her, it's different. I want to kiss her and hold her and be with her. My family and I are very religious. Our church accepts gay people but believes that you shouldn't act on those feelings, if that makes sense. I don't even think I'm gay though. Or maybe I am. Haha, can you tell how confused I am? Anyway, I don't know if I should tell my family how I feel about her or not. I want to tell the girl, but I know there's no way she'd be willing to go back in the closet for me, and i would never want that for anyone. But I don't know if my parents will be okay with me being with a girl. I have sisters and friends who would accept me, but I don't want to be treated differently and I know I would be. But how do you explain to someone what you don't understand? I know I have feelings for this girl. Pretty strong feelings, in fact. But I don't know what that means for me, as someone who has been completely straight up until now. I'm not sure if this is relevant, but my first kiss was with a girl when I was 12. I wasn't romantically interested in her, but I did like the kiss. And I've wanted to kiss one of my other lesbian friends once, just to try it. But I never actually had feelings for a girl until this one.
Well, it's one thing to have feelings for a girl, and want to kiss them and be with them. Im more gay and I like to kiss girls, cuddle with them, and want to be with them at times. and then it's another thing to want to have sex with a woman as a means for sexual pleasure. Is cunninglingus (oral sex on the vagina) something that turns you on when you think of this woman? or with women at all? So if you feel romantic towards a women (includes kissing), but not sexually, then you are probably straight with homoromantic feelings. You could be Pansexual, in which you may develop sexual feelings after your romantic feelings for someone develops, but that is extremely rare and usually unlikely imo. As for you telling your parents, you are young, I recommend convincing your mom to let you see a therapist as a means for helping you stay grounded (even if you are already grounded, as in not depressed) Eventually after you have sorted your feelings out, bring your parents in if you feel like you are bisexual or lesbian and then have a talk between your therapist and your parents. Hopefully listening to a therapist will sway them if they are homophobic. That is simply an option.
