People writing their genitalia under "gender"

I agree, but in this case starting a thread was probably a good idea mainly because this isn't an isolated incident and I've seen multiple people who use "I have a penis" type of statements as their gender. No one is calling anyone transphobic. However, pointing out the issue and raising awareness of the fact that it can be offensive is, indeed, important in my eyes even if some see it as something minor.

It reminds me a bit of how people who are not trans regard the use of pronouns as something minor, often stating that it is not a big deal if they use the pronouns that they are used to instead of the appropriate pronouns when addressing someone who is trans. Gender dysphoria makes things that might seem minor to some, much more serious. When you use the wrong pronouns you are actively hurting the person you are talking to, widening the gap between their body and mind and leaving them with a feeling that you don't really accept them for who they are. In a similar manner, saying I have a penis, can be perceived as someone saying that: "If you have a penis, you are not really female" which can obviously be extremely hurtful and invalidating to someone who is trans...

 

Well I'm going to be blunt here, if the word 'penis' is a 'trigger', then you need to seek professional help because society will never mould to individuals.

 

Then don't read my posts. Problem solved.

 

Then don't read my gender.

I could say "I'm offended as you're invalidating my argument by saying 'don't' ", but I don't because that just shows your argument in itself is built on quicksand.

But I'm enjoying life as a coffee table now anyway.

That's a pretty far stretch, sorry, I'm not buying it.

This is just an argument were none should exist.

 

stating that you have a penis or a vagina has absolutely nothing to do with someone's preferred pronouns. it's completely unfair to say that because someone wants to state that they have particular body parts is invalidating to trans people. that's like saying because i was born into the wrong body you're not allowed to acknowledge that you're comfortable with yours, which is equally invalidating to cis folk and reinforces the idea that genitals are something to be ashamed of.

 

I tried to give you a hint about how problematic it is a while back in the "what is your first impression of the person above you thread" when I wrote that my first impression of you was that you are "Someone who has a weird and ambiguous gender, perhaps a girl???", sorry I should have been a bit more clear about it. (*hug*)

Unfortunately, by viewing "'I have a penis" as analogous to you being a cisgendered male it logically indicates that you believe that having a penis means that you are not really female...

 

The similarity lies in the fact that while both situations might be seen as something minor to someone who is not trans. Gender dysphoria changes the meaning to something much more hurtful and invalidating. Yes, using the wrong pronouns is much more serious, but in both cases the perception changes in context of being around people who are trans...

 

Reported.

Don't listen to this person, Phalange, you're awesome. (*hug*)

 

I get offended when people calls something gay, or if someone uses the term 'faggot', but I can't really do much about it now, can I?

Sure, I can petition them to stop, but it doesn't mean they will.

I'm getting offended by something that I really have no control over. Do you see where I'm going with this?

 

that's a huge assumption to make and sounds more like your own insecurity than the reality of what someone else is thinking.

 

Yay! Finally a topic I can bitch in!

What you've just said would basically make people incapable of living. The truth is, no matter what a person does or says, it will collide with the interests of some others, and it will hurt some people's feelings. That's because different people have different values, they see the world through different glasses, and their sense of humor can be the exact opposite of another person's.

If I say "Hot air hangs like a dead man." (lyrics), and I mean just that, someone could jump at me yelling "You fuck, my father hung himself, you inconsiderate shit!".

Do you know where this world would be right now if everyone said and did things that was "inoffensive" to their fellows? Everyone would sit in a corner wordless, without looking at the others.

Being offended by something does not make somebody's argument true or right, it does not give that person more rights, and it does not make the one who "hurt their feelings" obliged to apologize, or be in debt to the offended person. It only means that by whatever reason that person gave a negative emotional response to something. It's especially true if the supposed offense wasn't meant to be offensive.

And for many people transgenderism or whatever is the "inoffensive" term nowadays, is something they just can't wrap their head around. I will always associate having a penis with being male, having a vagina with being female, and gender to be the same as sex. I can understand on a basic level that some people might not feel like they are the same gender as their bodies, but I've never known that feeling, so I will never get it, just like billions of other people.

 

I'd draw the line there, too, TBH. I'd say, just use proper words. If you want to be funny, say something funny. Having it permanently written next to your name makes it un-funny, anyway.

Well, this is a support website, so yes I can. Read the rules.

Literally right there - be respectful. Simple as.

Thanks. <3

Your argument is literally: "We can say what we want, so SHUT UP." That is not an argument, and it's pretty hypocritical. Plus, literally this. Name calling gets us nowhere. Please be civil.
Also, we are not doing it "to be offended", we are offended, because it is a natural response. You can not be deliberately offended, it just happens. So that is fundamentally flawed.

So, you're not offended. That's probably because you're not trans. You don't have to suffer like we do, you don't have to put up with having the wrong body. You don't have to put up with being ridiculed, you don't have to put up with the self-loathing. You are not questioning your gender, but other people can. You are also ignoring all of our arguments, and focusing in on little bits. You literally still have to respond to pretty much everything else Yael said. I mean, c'mon. One short paragraph not to your liking: the whole thing's invalid. That just doesn't work.

And to everyone who asks: "What are you going to do about it?"

We are going to get something done about it. We are going to change the policy, or at least persuade some people why what they are doing is wrong, and offensive. If you don't want to listen, then what can anyone do? You'll probably end up banned, if you keep offending people, and don't care.

 

Indeed.
The way other people identify in no way invalidates the way you identify.
FFS, this is the same bullshit that get's thrown at agender/genderqueer people.
People who put "I have a penis/vagina" either don't know what gender is and therefore made an simple mistake, or they identify with their biological sex, ie they're cis and wish to express this in a non-standard fashion.

 

lol, edits

 

There are terms that do it without hurting others. Say "egogender", or "physically male". I mean, what about intersex people? You can have a penis, and be female in every other way, even genetically. (Well, mostly.) It's just rude to say things like that, at the end of the day. We should stick together as a strong community, not separate and fight each other.

 

Actually as I said, I never really took offense in his gender identity, I just found it distasteful. However, I do and did know when I first saw the statement that others might take offense when reading it (As can be seen by the fact that I am not the one who started the thread.).

We are together here, as one community and we are here to support each other and be there for one another when we are going through tough times. Being empathetic and seeing the world through the eyes of others is part of what makes us a great community. There is obviously a decent chance that a person who is trans will feel insecure about their gender identity especially during the early stages of transition. Understanding this and taking it into consideration is obviously important and can show that you are supportive and accepting of what they are going through.

 

Usually when people say 'physically male', they mean they'd be classified as male with regards to gender and/or overal biology, when it comes to medical classification for example.
I don't know what egogender is.
Perhaps you could clarify?

Why is it rude to say you're biologically male?
I would apreciate it if you can actually explain that, rather than just assert it.
It is, after all, a statement about the person making it, not anybody else.

I'm not fighting anyone, I'm merely pointing out that one individual identifying with their biological sex, is a statement about their sex and/or gender identity and no-one else's.

By your reasoning, nobody should identify as agender anymore because some non-binary people find it rude, offensive and an erasure of their identity.

 

This is not just anywhere. This is on a support forum. You'd think people would be a bit more sensitive to these issues? You don't think someone, as transgender, faces enough shit already?

I can understand if someone puts genitalia as their gender, while not being aware of how problematic equating genitalia to gender is. But here, in this thread, that's not the case. Several trans individuals have said that they're feel uncomfortable with it, or even triggered by it.

 

Hold up right there.

I don't have to put up with ridicule or self-loathing? Are you actually being fully serious? I spent 11 years in the closet which is nearly as long as you've been alive, I hated myself so much I even attempted suicide at 20. But I'm not getting into a war of whom suffers more than whom.

That's just a statement of ultimate pretentiousness.