"Alive but not living"

You probably will not like the answer that works best, therefore THINK you are only 24 yo and have a long productive life ahead of you. It seems like the end of the world but it is not. At 24 and one month my 3rd husband died while I waited to die of terminal illness which was predicted to happen at the latest two months earlier, but he fell off a roof and died leaving me alive and quite sick in pain. I survived and now will turn 43 in less than a week... You just don't know what the future holds. In the last 19 years I raised one child from 2 weeks to 4 years and a second child from 11 yo to 18 yo whose father was my 4th husband and I know I did a great job on the second child. I have owned 3 houses in that time, had many friends and still do, and even more rare I still have my parents who are beginning to need me.

So when you think you have no future, think again! If you cannot handle it you may want to see a therapist, or go on medication to help you through. At my age I still have guys go bonkers over me and choose to be single. You must be a happy well balanced whole person to attract another happy well balanced whole person. I have had the bad times too and last year was one of those years, but I walked away from my house and property to move to a big city to start a new life also giving me time to heal. The key word is time! Take baby steps to achieve your goals and give yourself time enough for each step. Life is not Burger King "Your way right away!" I don't mean to sound mean saying that, but big problems don't usually get solved in a hurry.

I never thought I would see 30, much less 40, and 50 is still coming for me! I assure you it will come for you too. So plan your future now and stand up and grab it! June

 

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Do you have anyone that you can talk to...friends? Family? A therapist? I was in your position when I was your age. I couldn't see past the next day, let alone further down the road. I had previously tried college but I had no idea what I wanted to do for a career, so without a goal in mind, I wasn't motivated and dropped out...repeatedly. I was miserable, lived at home with a family that I didn't get along with, and spent my nights drinking with friends. I felt stuck and couldn't see a positive future. I hit bottom. And from there, one can only go up. I started trying to figure out what kind of career I could see myself enjoying for the long haul. I've always had an interest in helping others and in psychology but the amount of schooling to become a psychologist was off putting. So I looked at similar career fields. I ultimately chose nursing. Once I had a goal in mind, I was motivated. I went to the community college and talked with an advisor and we came up with a plan, as I would have a bunch of prerequisites to take for their nursing program. So I dove in head first. It wasn't easy and I hit a lot of bumps in the road. But now, 10 years later, I have been a nurse for 5 years, got my bachelor degree in nursing and have just been accepted into a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner program where I will be able to fulfill my dream of counseling others. It's been one heck of a journey, but nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it. Doors open up that you don't even know about.

So what are your interests? Have you gone to college? How close are you to 25? Once you are 25, federal financial aid sees you as an independent and doesn't count your parents' income, which is what allowed me to get my initial education paid for. Do some self-reflection and it will help open your eyes to your opportunities and also help make you more positive about life itself. There are great resources throughout the Internet to help you in your journey...YouTube videos (this has helped me greatly to stay positive throughout this late discovery of my sexual orientation), websites, Facebook pages, etc.

I wish you the best! I'm here if you need someone to talk to.