Feeling old, fat, ugly and foolish

Keep your chin up...
Ps. I've never been to Old Navy "not my taste" however, I've heard that their clothes are not that great, don't give up!

 

Maybe google something like "flattering fashion for taller women" and look around to see what style you like and then work on acquiring good quality pieces over time. I can never find something when I go out purposely looking. It's always easier when I'm just out and about and spot something I like.

 

Try going to Goodwill. I buy almost all my clothes there these days, though I can easily afford to shop in the mainstream stores. Many of the items they sell are near-new or never-been-worn and cost just pennies on the dollar. If you make a mistake it's not the end of the world. You can even take things back for up to a week after purchase.

 

Good and I am glad you found something to wear. Like the others have said keep your chin up.

 

I shop at thrift stores all the time. I love them. I shop out of seasonal sync, buying shorts in the fall for next summer, and winter clothes in Spring for next Fall. Better selection that way.

With reference to your comment "fat". Weight Watchers is the ticket. It's not how much you exercise it's how much you take in - plain and simple.

Good luck

 

Somebody from Noblesville too? Hello!

 

Good luck with losing the weight ... I really need to lose some of that stuff too

 

three of my friends are ftm XD

 

I can tell you from experience that off the rack clothing will rarely be flattering! I had all my female clothing made for my body accentuating my positives and minimizing the negatives. Now I would not dress female unless I was sure I did not look like I was in drag but like any other Southern lady of leisure out there as was standard for my state and part of town I lived in. Nothing wrong with drag in my eyes, but I wanted to look like the other women when I stepped out of my car anywhere, attracting positive reactions with the average male onlookers. It takes a lot of time to get ready for a outing and look great. As I also have gotten into middle age and shot to 6 foot so my favorite high heels from my 20's could never be again. I found keep only one focal point per outfit and no heavy colored cosmetics or perfume to be best. For my body it was my torso curve and rear-end to legs to be my best area to attract attention so a contrasting belt or handbag would keep eyes off my lack of breasts. The more fake accents like padding for breasts as a example detract from passing as a woman. Your dressmaker will create the real magic for changing your appearance. Now if you want to change to Daisy Duke that will take lots of surgery I would think. For me smart business suits, ranging to formal dresses looked great with heels, stockings, gloves, petticoats, furs, and in the beginning I used wigs until my own hair grew out. The wigs were the only fake part and I used real human hair wigs. I never wore shorts, bating suits, t-shirts, jeans, because I looked horrible as a woman in them. I also had close women to me teach me proper use of cosmetics. Use your best judgement on the outside, but be who you are always. Happy 4th! June

 

God I hate that stage of hair growth! It is hard to put into words about feeling comfortable but when I was 18 I dressed and went out my first time and I hated the way I looked in anything I could find in a store. That feeling you felt at Old Navy or close to it. Finally a girlfriend of mine dressed me in a black leather miniskirt and tight blouse with heels and fishnets LOL Yes I felt I looked like a hooker! We ventured off in my yellow 78 Grand Marquis coupe and I got hit on more than her that night... Than at twenty I had a husband who had me fitted with a whole wardrobe and all the clothing was custom made for me. That is when I really felt no discomfort in my appearance. Clothing made for my body really made me look like a well dressed gorgeous creature. Had Jack not done that for me I am not sure I would have figured out short of lots of surgery how to completely be seen as a woman visually by those who saw me. I was known as June to those who knew me in my new life with Jack and our neighbors had no clue I had male features at all for the next five years. I only was seen in full dress except by him in private. You are older than I was then but me at 43 next week, I still can dress and pass as a mother rather than a bombshell. Being female is who I am, and these days I rarely bother dressing the part but men rarely have any trouble seeing "me" "June" who I am no matter how I dress. That is the other key to the bad feelings about body image. I guess being "accepted" as female by the men around me, I feel very little discomfort about my looks. If that makes any sense? My pic you see by this is a couple years old now as I have been on here since 2013 I think, but I am not dressed female there and feel comfortable about myself. It took many years to come to terms with my body issues and realize "me" is okay. After all "you" won't have changed, but just not have to hide parts of who you are from others. That is the real key to comfort for me. I hope something in my experience can help you. June

 

Hi, you're the same height as my husband. I'm a foot shorter, but, like you, larger & luscious. I get a lot of my clothes from thrift shops. I have a good eye, plus, I love bargains. Which is good, since, we need to save money. I also order online. There are a lot of discount shops or I look for sales at regular places. I like to buy clothes online, because, I'm semi disabled & it's more relaxing. Besides there being more options. That's how many start. I'm sure, once you find the right size, color & style, you'll be even more ab fab than you are now. I wish you success.

 

"Feeling old, fat, ugly and foolish"

You're a woman. You had an encounter with a dressing room. Even if you were to wake up tomorrow younger, thinner, shorter -you'd still be feeling very much as you do right now because you're a woman who has had a run in with a dressing room. There is hardly any woman alive in America who hasn't at one point or another in her life experienced this. Even gorgeous model perfect women go through this. I mean just ask the females in your life and they'll tell you clothes shopping can be hell! There are probably some women out there somewhere who haven't experienced this but a lot, no not really. Most women dread it. And those minority few who don't well almost all of them lose their good cheer come swimsuit season.

It's really normal to not like the way you look when you try on clothes and to get discouraged when you can't find things that fit and to make crazy ass insane promises which if you're wise most of the time ideally you do not keep. Stuff like - I'm not going to ever shop here again, I'll be dead before you catch me in a plus size, I will never special order my clothes... Um well unless you plan to cut a hole in the middle of a big sheet and wear that like a poncho you should probably find some way of calming yourself down and then after you have managed to decompress reconsider. This just because well if you don't you will only be hurting yourself.

Like it or not every woman has to work with the body she's got and most women don't like every aspect of their bodies, aren't very satisfied with the bodies they have. There are exceptions but well even though I know it probably feels very personal right now it's actually really kind of universal and something that a lot of women go through. And well the fact is because you've got dysphoria going on for you it's probably going to be even a little more pronounced. Is that fair - no. Does that suck - yes. But well, it is what it is and all the self loathing and anger in the world is not going to change that. It's all about learning to work with the body you have as opposed to the one you wish you had been born with. The sooner you accept it is what it is, the quicker you can move on to determining your own personal style and finding what does work for you.

I've known lots of transwomen of all body types, sizes, heights and weights who looked great. But it didn't come easy for them. They had to work at it just like any other woman does. You'll feel a lot better after you find something you like, that fits you well that you think flatters your figure, looks becoming on you. A little success goes a long way for most women in the dressing room battle department. Don't punish yourself with dressing by giving yourself all kinds of absurd ultimatums that limit your options. Allow yourself to experience the pleasure of managing some small successes by giving yourself permission to shop at a wider variety of stores where you will be more likely to find things to your liking that fit you.

 

well take a page from Caitlynn Jenner. I mean, she is/was a former athlete so her shoulders are broad but she is looking quite glam in her recent outings. yes, a lot of plastic surgery help but her clothes are great. if you're trans then go "ball to the wall" and glam it up. Old Navy is great for loungewear and summer outdoorsy stuff but you're not going to get too much style there. not sure if Lane Bryant carries clothing for tall women but i know they have quite sytlish clothing for bigger sized women. maybe try that if you are in America. Even trying Forever 21 may be able to get you some stylish clothing at a lower price. You should get a Maxi Dress since it is free flowing and can fit a lot of different body styles.

 

Aloni, Amazon, Barefoot Tess (Long Tall Sally), Cook & Love, Exclusive Shoes of Ohio, Nordstrom, Shoe Buy dot com, Shoe Mart dot com, Shoe Metro, Sensational Soles, York Fashion Comfort Center Manhattan and Zappos all carry shoes in the 13-15 range and some of these stores carry a small number of styles in the 16 – 17 range as well.

Shoes of Prey ($160.00 - $230.00 range) allows you to design shoes to your liking.
Solely Original dot com - Custom design or bespoke however to purchase their designs in your size you would need to be scanned. Since they are UK based US customers have to order a casting sock, from this they are able to scan you. Once in their system you're then able to order any of their styles. They are pricier than Shoes of Prey , but if within your budget and a bit of a wait isn't an issue then why not treat yourself as they have some very nice styles especially for dressy casual.

Tall-women-resources dot com and Tall Woman dot org are both good resources for information about where to find clothes, shoes etc.

Though you didn't mention it being an issue yourself just in case any anyone reading this thread might be experiencing an issue with it for those with mismatched feet shoes can be ordered from Nordstrom in the correct size for each foot in certain styles.

Keep in mind since not very many attractive shoes in larger sizes are produced those that do become available tend to sell out quickly. This means for your best selection of winter footwear - be prepared to buy as early as August. For the season's newest sandals prepare by starting your hunt as early as January. The longer into the season you go/wait to purchase the more prices will drop however never bank on it when you are hard to fit. Occasionally you can a catch a good sale and it’s nice when it happens but generally you will wind up having to pay more to have the newest fashion in season when you have a shoe size greater than a woman’s 13, or though able to fit an 11 -13 range shoe require a wider width.

Though socks tend not to be an issue hose can sometimes be a problem for trans women. Many struggle along with queen size pantyhose hose but for others even that isn’t an option. In that case though admittedly having an off putting name, “Mantyhose” can be a good solution. While they do offer some styles that would be more suited for members of the drag, cross-dressing, gender bending communities they also make no fly styles that look like traditional woman’s pantyhose but are proportioned/sized for a male frame. The product line also includes thigh highs as well as body stockings. Lingerie for Plus Size dot com carries them but shop around as it’s possible other sellers might sell them or comparable brands for a lower price.

One important thing to consider when shopping for women’s shoes – generally they are not as well constructed, typically do not wear as well/ last as long as men’s so sometimes it’s worth it to pay a little more for shoes of better quality. Though Payless Shoes carries some styles up to size 13 in general you are going to wind up with much better made, cuter, more comfortable to wear shoes by shopping clearance, end of the season and yearly closeout sales at places like Barefoot Tess (Long Tall Sally's) and Zappos.

Lastly if you are looking to swap, sell for a modest fee or donate shoes, clothes, or accessories trans clothes exchange dot tumblr dot com and trans supplies dot tumblr dot com are two of many places online to list items for free.