How to come out to your straight friend without them getting the wrong idea?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jessi rose, Jul 3, 2015.

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  1. jessi rose

    jessi rose
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    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm seriously considering coming out to my straight best friend who is also a girl, but I'm worried that she'll think I'm coming onto her. We call each other babe and I always tell her how beautiful she is when she's having a bad day but I only mean that in a best friend kind of way. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable but I also know that if I try to explain that I'm not interested I'll put my foot in my mouth and she'll take it as me saying there's something wrong with her or that she's not good enough for me.

    Any advice? :confused:
     
    #1 jessi rose, Jul 3, 2015
  2. guitar

    guitar
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    Whenever I tell straight friends I'm gay, I usually say something to the effect of: I am in no way attracted to you. I think of you the way you think to me: as a friend. There's no part of me that's attracted to you. Just because I'm into people of the same sex does not mean everyone is my type.
     
    #2 guitar, Jul 3, 2015
  3. jessi rose

    jessi rose
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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I've considered saying something like that but I feel like she'll take it as me saying she's not good enough for me. She's rather insecure and I'd hate myself if I did anything to make her feel worse.
     
    #3 jessi rose, Jul 3, 2015
  4. ToneDef

    ToneDef Guest

    I'm worried about my best friend getting the wrong idea, too. He told me he thought I loved him after I came out to him as bisexual. And now I'm going to have to tell him I'm gay... fack...
    As far as your friend, I'd stick to explaining that you don't have that type of interest in her just to get things cleared up from the get go, but perhaps tell her the positive qualities you see in her, anyway, if need be. I've never dealt with that particular situation but I'm going to have to at one point. Also, keep in mind that she's your best friend. If that changes your relationship, perhaps you're not the friends you thought. But those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. :slight_smile: It sounds like you're confident enough in your friendship to share these feelings with her and that says something by itself. Best of luck to you. (*hug*)
     
    #4 ToneDef, Jul 3, 2015
  5. benefit25

    benefit25
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    yeah that fear of s.. now i have to defend that i dont actually have a thing for you.. its complicated, but just sharing is what you are supposed to say. like please dont let this affect our friendship.. blabla:slight_smile:
     
    #5 benefit25, Jul 3, 2015
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