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In Memoriam

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by greatwhale, Jul 1, 2015.

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  1. HM03

    HM03
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    Beautifully written and I'm very sorry for your loss.
     
    #21 HM03, Jul 2, 2015
  2. C06122014

    C06122014 Guest

    I'm so incredibly sorry for your Loss, but as others have said you honored her without that beautiful post
     
    #22 C06122014, Jul 2, 2015
  3. OnTheHighway

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    She sounded like a true fighter, and your bond with her is well evident in your post. May she rest in peace.
     
    #23 OnTheHighway, Jul 2, 2015
  4. looking for me

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    Great Whale, i am so sorry for your loss. I have to say however, that grace must run in the family because the grace you describe for your sister is the same as we see from yourself. Again my friend, deepest sympathies.(*hug*)
     
    #24 looking for me, Jul 2, 2015
  5. 50ishandout

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    Thoughts and Prayers for you and hoping your sister is truly in a better place. Lost my sister 10 years ago and miss her terribly.
     
    #25 50ishandout, Jul 2, 2015
  6. greatwhale

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    I am overwhelmed by your kindnesses, both here and in your private messages. I can't thank you enough for being there, I know I am not alone and that is very comforting.

    During our dinner with the family yesterday evening, I toasted my sister by stating that she had a beautiful life. They looked at me quizzically; "how could you call what happened to her 'beautiful'?"

    Simply, she was not her disease, she was a human being who faced terrible challenges and met them with courage and determination. From her I learned that a measure of refusing to yield to reality, such as it was, was a kind of unshakeable faith that she would get better, or at least survive. This is how she survived AIDS, despite being half-blind from the CMV that destroyed her retinas (she had to endure regular injections directly into her eyes), or the Kaposi's sarcoma that invaded her skin (requiring radiation treatments), or the lipodystrophy that re-shaped her body (from the anti-HIV meds), she was determined to live.

    Moreover, by enduring these insults, she became kinder and more thoughtful, it was a remarkable transformation and my relationship with her improved tremendously.

    She brought her legendary stubbornness to this latest cancer challenge, and although she accepted defeat, she did not yield to despair, while insisting that she be treated properly.

    So yes, her life was beautiful; as there is beauty in tragedy overcome; in the poetry of the lost cause, and in the love expressed without reservation.
     
    #26 greatwhale, Jul 2, 2015
  7. BMC77

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    True.

    For that matter, she wasn't even the body that eventually failed her. Our bodies are the things that we see and identify with, but our bodies are really nothing more than amazing robots when you think about it. It's something else that forms that "real person."
     
    #27 BMC77, Jul 2, 2015
  8. Nekobi

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    I'm sorry for your loss, much love and hugs.
    Your words are so beautiful though, I can really tell you love her.
    May she rest in peace, her undying spirit will live on through you.

    ---------- Post added 2nd Jul 2015 at 08:08 PM ----------
    Yes I agree with you. Tragedies are both horrific and beautiful all at once, as we learn from them. In the end that is all we will have done in life- learn. Gaining kmowledge and experience is all part of the ride.

    Your sister was a wonderdul person, achieving what many cannot, an unwielding stubborness that no doubt made her stronger and from th is life she will have gained so much knowledge.
     
    #28 Nekobi, Jul 2, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2015
  9. HarmfulLoverX

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    So sorry for your tragic loss
    if only there could be a cure for HIV/AIDS and once we find it...we'll know she'll be happy for the others once they are cured
    I will be praying for you and your family
    May god bless your family and your sister rest in peace

    Lots of love,
    Caitlyn~
     
    #29 HarmfulLoverX, Jul 2, 2015
  10. tscott

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    “we are imperfect mortal beings, aware of that mortality even as we push it away, failed by our very complication, so wired that when we mourn our losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. as we were. as we are no longer. as we will one day not be at all.”
    ― Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

    Great Whale, I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. How fortunate you were to have such a remarkable person in your life. You have honored her with a beautifully written memorial. Please know that my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family, especially your mother, at this difficult time. No parent should have to bury their child. May God comfort you, strengthen and bless you. Be assured we are here for you.
     
    #30 tscott, Jul 2, 2015
  11. greatwhale

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    Thank you again for your kind words, they mean a lot to me.

    I created an album in my profile with a couple of pictures of her in her youth; she was stunningly beautiful.
     
    #31 greatwhale, Jul 2, 2015
  12. Biotech49

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    Greatwhale, you have written a beautiful eulogy and I can only offer cyberhugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy to lose anybody, especially a family member. You've described a life lived and a death died in such meaningful words. I wish you well.
     
    #32 Biotech49, Jul 3, 2015
  13. Chicagoblue

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    This pics of your sister are just stunning. Very exotic, gorgeous. I'm sure a beautiful sould too.
     
    #33 Chicagoblue, Jul 3, 2015
  14. Yossarian

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    I never know what to say at news like this, but please note that I want to say the right thing, even if I don't know what it should be. (*hug*)
     
    #34 Yossarian, Jul 3, 2015
  15. Tightrope

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    Your written account is quite a tribute to her strength and character. You also make an interesting connection between the day she left us, being July 1 - Canada Day, and chose to see that as a celebration of life when it could have been viewed differently.

    It is always hard, but it is even harder when the person we are mourning is someone we cared about and someone who enriched our lives. I offer my thoughts and prayers to you as well your family and friends at this difficult time.
     
    #35 Tightrope, Jul 3, 2015
  16. Lindsey23

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    This brought me to tears, so beautifully written. I'm so sorry for your loss. It amazes me how you are so helpful to others in spite of the pain you have been going through. You are truly a positive influence on this world. Thank you for all that you do.
     
    #36 Lindsey23, Jul 3, 2015
  17. BeingEarnest

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    I am sorry to hear the news of your sister. Thank you for bearing witness to the life she lived. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
     
    #37 BeingEarnest, Jul 3, 2015
  18. Faazi

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    To live with Love, to die with Love, to be Remembered with Love - is to blessed all the time - much strength to you as you continue your life journey, knowing that your sister will be by your side, always :slight_smile:
     
    #38 Faazi, Jul 4, 2015
  19. alpet

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    Greatwhale, please accept my most sincere condolences. May your sister rest in peace.
     
    #39 alpet, Jul 4, 2015
  20. Gratitude

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    Your story truly touched my heart. My sincere hope that you and your loved ones are healing with peace.
     
    #40 Gratitude, Jul 4, 2015
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