I am bi in a straight relationship. How do you remain within the lesbian community?

Hi guys.

To summarise, I am a female bisexual in a long-term relationship with a man. I have never dated women, but had a few drunken encounters with women, none of which have been very fulfilling (the circumstances have been undesirable or I've been too drunk and can't remember properly etc.)

Part of me feels guilty for being able to 'pass as straight' but if I were straight or gay I know I wouldn't go around telling everyone my orientation as ones sexuality seems a pretty odd thing to bring up mid-conversation with someone to me, yet I still struggle knowing how to maintain my identity as a non-heterosexual woman when I can so easily pass for one.

Anyway, I was just wondering what other female bisexuals who are in long-term relationships with men felt and dealt with the situation.
Do you simply ignore the 'lesbian' aspect to being bisexual when you are in a straight relationship or do you somehow still manage to maintain a foothold within the lesbian community?
Do you ever feel like you need to be with a woman whilst you are committed to a man or does that thought not even occur to you?
Are you able to explore this side of your sexuality within a committed relationship, and if so, how well does that work?
How do you maintain your bisexual identity when you exist within a straight environment? Are there any bi women out there dating men who have never had sex with women but still know they're bi, or are only interested in women apart from the exception of their male partner?

This could equally apply to bisexual men or women in 'lesbian' relationships that no longer feel part of the straight community, but whoever you are, please share your experiences, it would be so helpful and interesting.

 

Re: I am bi in a straight relationship. How do you remain within the lesbian communit

Does that bother your boyfriend at all, or is he completely fine with it?

 

Re: I am bi in a straight relationship. How do you remain within the lesbian communit

Not at all no. In fact your post was the opposite of helpful.

I'm well aware of what being bisexual means and I don't really need a snotty explanation for what I am, thank you. I'm hoping this is just a misunderstanding; either that or you can't have read a word I wrote.

Either way, I am well aware that being in what could be perceived as a 'straight' relationship (and I made this very clear as I said that I regularly pass as straight) does NOT mean that I AM straight, hence why I identify as bisexual.

What I was actually asking (and interested in), was the way that bisexuals in heterosexual relationships are nearly always assumed to be straight, and bisexuals in homosexual relationships are nearly always assumed to be lesbian.
What I was discussing therefore is the common occurrence of knowing one is bisexual, but it not always coming across to other people. Whilst the identity of both straight and gay people is very visible and clear, the identity of a bisexual is often lost within relationships. It's easy as a bisexual to get sucked into one type of community (either a straight community or gay community) depending on who you're dating.
My question was therefore, how do other people deal with this issue.
How do other people make sure they are still engaged and visible as bi both within the gay and straight community whilst being in a 'straight' relationship, or vice versa?

And I never said you had to be in a 'lesbian league', I said community. I additionally never stated that it was essential to being bi, just that liking women (that's what the lesbian community is about) is part of your sexuality so will not go away when you are with a man, leading to the question of how, when you aren't with a woman do bisexual women stay active in lesbian/gay culture.

Oh and i'm not 'claiming' to be bisexual, I am bisexual.