I fell in love with my teacher and he likes me back

I'm not the best person to confide to about these things. (Since I'm 16 myself)

But if he isn't your teacher anymore; technically it wouldn't seem so 'weird' to the law or anything.

Personally; I'm attracted to older men. So I can understand your feelings toward someone who is more mature than yourself.

Age honestly doesn't really matter much when it comes to relationships - at least in my opinion.

As long as you are safe about what you're doing - then I see no problem with you having a relationship with him.

 

aww, darling, that's a really sweet story!

there's nothing wrong about it. follow your heart!

I say go for it!

the only thing I might add, which you can disregard if you think he would never do that, is don't let him take advantage of you since you're younger. some older people do that. I don't know him though, you do.


good luck! <3

EDIT: Okay, differnet perspectives here^. I might emphasize then, if you get involved with him, listen to your brain every once in a while and see if he's legit or not...

 

You mentined you were in the US, you should find out the age of conset before doing anything.

In this scenario - I really wouldn't recommend it. Especially not if you've just graduated.

If he was twenty-five when you were sixteen and you've graduated, he should be ~twenty-seven know. You need to ask yourself - why is a twenty-seven year old asking out a teenager? That seems like a red flag for me. In some situations, age is just a number, but with almost a ten year age gap and the power differential between the two of you, it's a huge cause for concern.

@Chrio, I totally agree with Chip. There are ethics that teachers need to uphold. Dating a student (or a recent ex-student) is highly inappropriate. I don't think this teacher needs to be reported, but it is highly unprofessional behavior and he should know better, both as an educator and as an adult. I don't know what the code of conduct is at this particular district, but I would be shocked if this was actually acceptable behavior.

@OP - give it some more time. If this is truly love and is meant to be, give it a few years and get some distance. Grow up a little more and get on the same level as your teacher. It truly is shocking to me that an adult who has graduated from college and is well-established in his career would be willing to date a recent high school graduate. As a recent high school graduate, I was unwililng to date a recent high school graduate (and I still am).

Tread with caution.

 

I agree 100% with chip, this is incredibly inappropriate. Please, please be very careful.

 

i say follow your heart and thats why we are all here we followed our hearts and became LGBT or alternate gender identity.

---------- Post added 29th Jun 2015 at 02:15 PM ----------

or at least we realized we are

 

When it comes to the teacher/student relationship, I am old school in that it should be kept professional as a protection for both sides. Protection for the teacher against a student who may seek revenge after a nasty break up and destroy the teacher's career. Protection for the student who may suffer low marks to punish them post bad break up.


Your life though.

 

Seconded. Not only is it true that you would be on unequal footing, but it is also very likely that he is seeking this relationship from you for that very reason.

Ask yourself - why isn't he interested in someone his own age?

 

Ah, I think everyone was a bit confused because your profile says 16.

Even then though, I would encourage you to be careful. He met you in a context in which he had control over you and was attracted to you in that same context.

I too have a weakness for older men/women and have had a few intense crushes myself on instructors, so I get it. I really do. It's just that, making sure that you are treated with respect by someone your own age can be challenge enough - but doubly so with someone older who has had authority over you.

Is there any one you two both know who you can trust and who would be able to give you advice on this? They may be able to hone in on his motives more than you can by being a more objective third party.

 

Being mostly in the closet really complicates things. It means that not many people will know about the relationship if it does take a bad turn and this seems like the kind of thing you'll need outside support with. It also puts James in a position of power over you and that can definitely mess up the balance of the relationship.

Are you only out to your sister? Is there anybody else you can tell? If you can, I think you should try and come out to them or find some more personal support before you pursue a relationship with this guy.

Outside of that I really don't know what to think. At the end of the day you know the most about this situation. Just be careful and do what you think is right. (*hug*)

 

Hey honey, I see around here a lot of dissaproving opinions, but sweetheart, I am 25 and my girlfriend is 34, and I am happy. I don't see why you sholdn't be happy with him. Go out with him honey and see if he's worth the risk or not. I've seen a lot of relationships like yours and it doesn't mean you'll be unhappy with him, and for me honey the age is not important and he doesn't seem that old, I mean, it's only 10 years. I always was too mature for my own age and I was ( and I am) attracted to older women or men because they seem closer to me. It's risky, yes, but what if? Honey, that's the question: WHAT IF? If you refuse then won't you be curious what would've happen if you said yes? He seem open minded and he seems to get really well along with his students which is great! I think you shoud say yes and get to know him better but you should still be alert. I wish you luck and happines. I hope he is what you want!

 

I am also attracted to older people.

IMO though, the age difference here deserves greater consideration than normal because of how they originally met, and also perhaps because this sounds like his first relationship period. It's the age gap + power differential that is bothering me the most here.

At the very least, I think he needs to exercise some caution and pay attention to this guy's motives.

 

Maybe you could start by being honest with him? Maybe call and talk to him on the phone? Explain that you don't want to rush anything and want to take things slow.

And well, if things don't go well, that's life...

General piece of advice whether you choose to go ahead with it or not, try to go with your brain rather than feelings, even if your feelings are really strong and you have to force yourself to use your brain...
Be mature and figure out the situation and everything.
Best case scenario, you can be together and you can be happy or you can be friends and still be happy. Worst case he's up to no good.
So yeah don't let your guard down but if you want to go for it, sure.

 

Something I would be concerned about is how he didn't seem to struggle with having feelings for you. Or did he? Having feelings for a student is something most would consider inappropriate. They're overstepping boundaries.

I mean, I've seen the person I have feelings for struggle for months with this, because she knows it's wrong. She didn't just jump at the first opportunity. Your teacher, however, did confess his feelings for you right after you did, while you were still student-teacher.

I would be careful, as he might take advantage of you. This thing between you two might not mean nearly as much to him as it does to you.

Just be careful, okay?